thesurrealist.co.uk : less funny the more you reload

This was a website of random text generators that ran from 2002 until 2008 or so. It should mostly still work. A few bits were updated into Twitter bots in the 2010s, but they were shut off after Twitter API changes in April 2023.

Gibberish Generators

The Reality TV Generator
"Text your vote for the most noisy chef to 56433."
The Wikipedia Album Generator
"All Commodity Volume, by Jacksonport."
The London Evening Standard Headline Generator
"Toxic Wasps - Prepare To Flee."
Fantasy World News Generator
"Orcish soldiers have sharply increased patrols in Black Cavern since the spike in sectarian violence, an orcish general said Thursday, raising questions about the capabilities of kobold forces."
Sci-Fi News Generator
"Generic Holiday Period on Necros was just another day on the front lines for the Phogon territories military."
Bilateral Thinking Puzzles
"He climbed on a block of ice which had since melted."
eBay Feedback Generator
"Item superlative. Swift to send. Lovely packaging. A remarkably skillful seller."
The Surrealist Dalek
"RE-GURG-I-TATE!"
The Ultimate Personality Test
"It is more important to spend time with friends than to deal with unexpected circumstances."
The Sound Effect Generator
"parp chirrup gurgle (hoot-pssh) wooooh chomp wooooh chomp *BOOF!*"
Sheep Poetry
"Warm white clouds drift over the mirrors below."
24 Dreaming
"This is the angriest bee of my life."
The Surrealist Link
"You are the mistiest trenchcoat. Goodbye!"

Name-Battle Games

Battle Robots
"The Surrealist seeks Kittens, runs on Alcohol, and has Three Metal Wheels."
Giant Battle Monsters
"The Surrealist is a Giant Lizard that seeks Nuclear Power Stations, is in League with Dark Forces and Radioactive, carries a Ray Gun and eats Rocks."
Food-Eating Battle Monkeys
"The Surrealist is a Pie-Eating Vampire Monkey. Battle Rating : 4.2."

Miscellanea

The Daily Sensible
"Dispute over policing comes to sensible ending."
The Dossier Sexupifier
...within 45 minutes.
Other Listings Magazine
Viewer-submitted schedules. We Hate 2004.
TV Misguidance
A game of reconstituted listings.
Exquisite Corpses
Photoshop foldover picture storage.

Enter-Your-Name Toys

The Mutant Song Lyric Quiz
"Here in my random word, I feel safest of all."
The Shakespeare Quote Generator
"Et tu, Surrealist?"
The New Year's Resolutions of LiveJournal
"Eat more random words."
The Twelve Days of LiveJournal
"Five gi-i-i-iant squid..."
The Christmas Song Generator
"Shall I play for you, pa-rum-pum-pum pum, on my Surrealist."
The Movie Quote Generator
"The Surrealist? Where we're going we don't need the Surrealist."
LiveJournal Space Adventure
"You are in a crate-filled access duct. Pipes run above your head, marked 'random words'."
LiveJournal Dungeon Adventure
"You are in an echoing temple. You hear the sound of random words in the distance."
The Mechanical Contrivium
"Trivia can only be destroyed by intense heat, and is impermeable even to acid."
Bad Joke Generator
"Where does the Surrealist go on holiday?" "New Surrealand"
What's Your Spammer Name?
"Buckskin E. Thoriate"
Dr. Unheimlich's Disease Registry
"Symptoms: cockney accent, ankle swelling, levitation."
The Infinite Teen Slang Dictionary
"What do you think of that girl, girl?" "She's Blair!"
Lonesome No More!
"Your new middle name would consist of a noun, the name of a flower or fruit or nut or vegetable or legume..."
The Prior-Art-O-Matic
"It's an answering machine that recites haiku! It tells you when people are lying."
The Acronym Liar
"National Arse and Space Arse."
The Advertising Slogan Generator
"Snap! Crackle! Pain!"
All original content and concepts from the brains of Kevan Davis and/or Holly Gramazio