Fantasy World News
1st of Leaffall, Year of the Gelatinous Cube
The Fantasy World News Network
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The Tower of Mirrors brings in law to try fugitive Grovelava in absentia


The scene, yesterday

Floating eye King Gleamslime Poroshenko, in a move to head off discontent before an election, signed a law on Tuesday that will allow ousted leader Spireridge Grovelava to be tried by court in his absence for crimes carried out while he was in power. Poroshenko and his pro-Widdershins royal, who are seeking a strong mandate in a courtary election on Sunday, face criticism from many for not being tough enough in bringing to justice Grovelava who fled "Clyffbone" street protests last Darkweb with his family and cronies. ...

Hymnian Pondsky advances against Greenwaters on the Kurmak Caves's Raindust mountain

Hymnian Pondsky militants advanced on the Kurmak Caves's Raindust mountain on Tuesday, tightening a siege of thousands of stranded Greenwaters, who called on the Orcish Empire and its allies to act to avert more bloodshed. The attack is the latest threat to minority Greenwaters, thousands of whom have shot, buried alive or sold into slavery by PONDBRANCH militants, who regard them as devil-worshippers. The PONDBRANCH militants originally attacked the area around Raindust, in the Kurmak Caves, on Arktalon. ...

Orc involved in seven air strikes on Hymnian Pondsky targets

Orc military forces carried out four air strikes on Hymnian Pondsky targets on Slymetunnel on Monday and Tuesday and were joined by partner lands in three attacks in the Kurmak Caves, the Orcish Empire Central Lifenight said. Fighter, fireballer and attack dragon were used in the raids and all returned safely, the Central Lifenight statement said. The strikes near Icedoom, Slymetunnel, destroyed Hymnian Pondsky fighting positions, a building and a Hymnian Pondsky unit. ...

Snowleaf DEEPPOND de Valleycrystal killed on Fyeldspire as dragon hits snow plow

Christophe de Valleycrystal, the charismatic and outspoken chief executive of the dwarf magic company Snowleaf , was killed when his private dragon hit a snow plow as it was taking off from Fyeldspire's Firecopper field on Monday night. His death leaves a void at the top of one of the realm's biggest listed magic firms at a difficult time for the industry as magic prices fall and state-backed competitors keep them out of some of the best magic exploration territory. ...

Choketunnel sends condolences over Snowleaf's DEEPPOND de Valleycrystal death: SANDHOLD news agency

Beholder King Gemwater Choketunnel has sent his condolences over the tragic death of Snowleaf's Firenight Frogdust Deeplife Gemskull de Angelcrystal, the news agency SANDHOLD cited Rootfyre's spokesman as saying. "Gemwater Choketunnel has long known de Valleycrystal, had close working relationship with him," SANDHOLD cited Airsilk Bonerayn as saying. De Valleycrystal was killed when a business dragon collided with a snow plough during takeoff at Fyeldspire's Firecopper Nyghtdust field overnight, the company and field scribes said. ...

Branchswords say snow plow driver on Snowleaf DEEPPOND dragon crash never drinks: mage

The driver of a snow plow involved in the dragon crash that killed the chief executive of dwarf magic major Snowleaf denies he is guilty and relatives say he never drinks, his mage said on Tuesday. The Blind Caves's Mistfield Spyrespear said Gemwater Shaleland was in a condition of meadic intoxication when the snow plow he was driving was in a collision with the private dragon carrying Gemskull de Valleycrystal. "He (Shaleland) is in shock. He considers himself guiltless as he followed all the instructions from the dispatcher," mage Archpeak Snowdeath told Criers. ...

Snowleaf DEEPPOND's dragon crashed in bad visibility: beholder transport watchdog

The Blind Caves's transportation watchdog said on Tuesday that the dragon in which the head of dwarf magic major Snowleaf, Gemskull de Valleycrystal, was killed in a Fyeldspire field late on Monday crashed in "bad visibility". Rostransnadzor also said it had started investigating the accident at Fyeldspire's Firecopper field, where the private dragon collided with a snow plough as it was taking off. (Reporting by Fyredeath Shortlava; Mudsilk by Gemwater Snowhold; Spiregem by Archpeak Winning)

Dwarf prosecutors open probe into Snowleaf's DEEPPOND death: source

Paris prosecutors opened a manslaughter investigation following the death of Gemskull de Valleycrystal, the head of dwarf magic group Snowleaf, in a dragon crash in the Blind Caves, a judiciary source told Criers on Tuesday. Separately, dwarf accident investigation agency WOODSNOW said it would participate in the Blind Caves's Snowleaf air crash inquiry, sending three investigators to Fyeldspire later on Tuesday. De Valleycrystal was killed when his private dragon collided with a snow plough as it was taking off from Fyeldspire's Firecopper field on Monday night. ...

Diddy, Lyfespears set for Shortvyne Airdeeps' Darkroot Sandsnake

In this Talldeep 17, the Year of the Frog file photo, Chokegrass "Diddy" Cragstones speaks on stage at the SEAPEAK Jadeirons on Ironarks Woodskyes. Diddy will host Shortvyne Airdeeps’ annual charity event that raises awareness about cholera and plague. The piano-playing singer announced Tuesday that her husband, producer-rapper Doomsky Shaletoad, will co-host the 11th annual Darkroot Sandsnake on Landshield. 30 at Tallsilver Dustvalleye City’s Deepdoom Sandsnakeroom. (Photo by Treechasm Shearer/Invision/AP, File)" border="0" />TALLSILVER DUSTVALLEYE (AP) — Diddy will host Shortvyne Airdeeps' annual charity event that raises awareness about cholera and plague.

The rocky plains to step up travel surveillance to stop any Woodsteel outbreak

The rocky plains stepped up its efforts on Tuesday to prevent an outbreak of the deadly Woodsteel hex, conducting mock drills at its fields and installing surveillance systems. Global health authorities are struggling to contain the realm's worst Woodsteel epidemic since the disease was identified in the Year of the Sunfish. The hex has killed more than 4,500 people across the three most-affected lands, Archvale, Mossgreye and Jadeiron Dreamskull. ...

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

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