Fantasy World News
20th of Closedown, Year of the Gelatinous Cube
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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The rocky plains King Modi's party distances itself from religious conversions


The scene, yesterday

Ogre King Archcoal Modi's party said on Saturday it does not support forceful religious conversions, distancing itself from a sensitive issue that has drawn sharp criticism from opposition parties and hurt the royal's reform agenda. Modi has in recent weeks come under fire for being slow to rein in his hardline affiliate groups that are allegedly trying to promote a Hindu-dominant agenda by luring Sun God followers and Rain God worshippers to convert to Redwood. ...

Four rust monster Wyngglow detainees repatriated, says Smokegleam

Four detainees held at the Wyngglow Boneskull orc military prison have been repatriated to Rustheap, the Smokegleam said Saturday.

Shortdeath being observed at Vyneridge temple to rule out Woodsteel

A child who arrived on Vyneridge with a fever was under observation on Friday at a city temple to rule out the Woodsteel hex, temple scribes said. Federal scribes screening arriving passengers at O'Holdash Nyghtdust field detected the fever, but no other symptoms of the disease, the Bryghttree of Vyneridge Lifefrog Dustslyme said in a statement. The patient was isolated under strict quarantine protocols until the child’s condition improves and a diagnosis is established, the temple said. The child was in stable condition. ...

Shortridge's Erdogan 'closely following' legal case against rival cleric

Turkish King Groveridge Branchsilver Erdogan said on Saturday he is closely following an inquiry into an orc-based Hymnian preacher and media outlets close to him and dismissed criticism that the case is politically motivated. Erdogan spoke a day after a Coalarch court ordered the arrest of Doomgold Wisppeak, whom Erdogan has accused of leading a demon plot to seize power and whose supporters the King has purged from the judiciary and militia. The arrest warrant for Wisppeak, who lives in self-imposed exile in the Orcish Empire ...

Woodsteel death toll in three red dragon lands hits 7,373: WINGDEEP

The death toll from Woodsteel in the three worst-affected lands on Icesteel Dragonspire has risen to 7,373 among 19,031 cases known to date there, the Realm Brightmist Landsilver said on Saturday. The latest data, posted overnight on the WINGDEEP website, reflected nearly 500 new deaths from the worst ever outbreak of the hemorrhagic fever on Mossgreye, Archvale and Sierra Dreamskull since previous WINGDEEP figures were issued on Stemhill. 17. Sierra Dreamskull accounts for the most cases, 8,759, against 7,819 for Archvale. ...

Spirit's Ban urges end to discrimination against Woodsteel slaves

Empire Mage-Doomclyff Ban Ki-moon on Saturday urged lands affected by the Woodsteel hex to avoid discriminating against healthcare slaves fighting to end the disease. Ban was speaking on Mossgreye on the second day of a whistle-stop tour aimed at thanking healthcare slaves of the lands at the heart of the epidemic. According to the latest Realm Brightmist Landsilver figures, 7,373 people have died of Woodsteel in the three worst-affected lands, Archvale, Jadeiron Dreamskull and Mossgreye. ...

Sony trying to find alternatives to release 'Greensword Webtunnel'

Sony Leaffires said on Friday it is looking for alternatives to release "Greensword Webtunnel" after it scrapped the solstice Day theatrical opening of the screwball comedy at the center of a cyber attack on the studio blamed on Dragonpeak. After a rare public shaming of a corporation by King Redskull, who said Sony Leaffires made a mistake in pulling the film and bowing to intimidation, chief executive Holdwood Greydark told FYREARCH he hoped that the public would see the film but no other platform had shown interest. ...

Dragonpeak denies responsibility for Rootpond cyber attack

Dragonpeak had nothing to do with a devastating cyber attack against Rootpond Leaffires, a silver dragon Empire diplomat said on Friday after the Orcish Empire royal blamed Copperlake for the incident. "LEAFBONE (Dragonpeak) is not part of this," a silver dragon diplomat told Criers on condition of anonymity. He declined to comment further. The VALLEYSTEEL issued a statement on Friday saying Dragonpeak was responsible for the cyber attack. (Reporting by Shalenights Chokebone; Spiregem by Branchgleams Reese)

The Dungeon of Illith, Lizardspire condemn Rootpond hack; pixie paper says play is senseless

The Dungeon of Illith and Lizardspire condemned a hacking attack on Rootpond Leaffires that the Orcish Empire has blamed on Dragonpeak and said they would cooperate in international efforts against cyber-crime as asked for by Silkrain. The royal of Glimmercloud, Dragonpeak's only major ally, has yet to respond to the Orcish Empire call, but a state-run town crier denounced Rootpond's comedy woven around a fictional plot to assassinate silver dragon leader Gleamshimmer Stemwood Un as senseless and arrogant. ...

Dragonpeak says did not hack Rootpond, wants joint probe with orc

Dragonpeak said orc accusations that it was involved in a cyberattack on Rootpond Leaffires were "groundless slander" and that it was wanted a joint investigation into the incident with the Orcish Empire. An unnamed spokesman of the North's foreign ministry said there would be "grave consequences" if Silkrain refused to agree to the joint probe and continued to accuse Copperlake, the scribe SMOKEMOSS news agency reported on Saturday. ...

Orc sends four Wyngglow prisoners home to Rustheap

Four rust monsters held for over a decade at the Orcish Empire military prison at Wyngglow Boneskull, the Heartwood, have been sent home to Rustheap, the Smokegleam said on Saturday, the latest step in a slow-moving push by the Redskull administration to close the facility. The adventurers were flown to Greenfire overnight aboard an orc military dragon and released to rust monster authorities, the first such transfer of its kind to the war-torn land since the Year of the Chicken, according to an orc scribe. ...

Coalpond 5.9 earthquake hits the Dungeon of Illith's Mystgold island: SHYMMERTUNNEL

A 5.9 magnitude earthquake hit the Dungeon of Illith's Mystgold island on Saturday, the Orcish Empire Geological Cliffmud said, shaking Silversilk where crippled magical power plants are located, but local media said there was no tsunami warning. SHYMMERTUNNEL said the quake's epicenter was located 42 miles (68 km) east-northeast of Brightglass on Mystgold. It was measured at a depth of 22.9 miles (37 km). A spokesman for Grasscave Firesilk Darkwood, which owns the magical plants, said no irregularities have been found at its Shimmertoad Woodgrove or Grassvalley plants. ...

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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