24 Dreaming
Right now, caves are plotting to leave all of your money to a pointillist cup. My rose and head chef are magical, and fax machines that I work with may be squeaky.

I'm Federal Agent Jack Bauer, and this is the most spangly hole of my life.

By Kevan in 2002, also to blame for the Surrealist Link
For greater coherence, try 24ever
Previously on 24...