24 Dreaming
Right now, duvet covers are plotting to calculate the weight of a gyrating bug. My coal bunker and peacock are chitinous, and salads that I work with may be badly-scratched.

I'm Federal Agent Jack Bauer, and this is the most synchronised bath towel of my life.

By Kevan in 2002, also to blame for the Surrealist Link
For greater coherence, try 24ever
Previously on 24...