24 Dreaming
Right now, coffee-mugs are plotting to go back to a geosynchronous lilo. My barge is screaming, and brothels that I work with may be salty.

I'm Federal Agent Jack Bauer, and this is the podgiest laser printer of my life.

By Kevan, also to blame for the Surrealist Link
For greater coherence, try 24ever
Previously on 24...