24 Dreaming
Right now, Satanists are plotting to stun a merciful bunsen burner. My project manager and spider-web are dyslexic, and koi carps that I work with may be bronzed.

I'm Federal Agent Jack Bauer, and this is the timidest head cleaner of my life.

By Kevan in 2002, also to blame for the Surrealist Link
For greater coherence, try 24ever
Previously on 24...