24 Dreaming
Right now, mantelpieces are plotting to have nightmares about a hot 'n' spicy washing line. My fruit gum is Amish, and machine-guns that I work with may be great big.

I'm Federal Agent Jack Bauer, and this is the most brittle lotus petal of my life.

By Kevan in 2002, also to blame for the Surrealist Link
For greater coherence, try 24ever
Previously on 24...