24 Dreaming
Right now, clams are plotting to dance the lambada with an imitation chopstick. My duck and Tesla coil are vindictive, and cheeseboards that I work with may be large.

I'm Federal Agent Jack Bauer, and this is the most paint-splattered cherub of my life.

By Kevan in 2002, also to blame for the Surrealist Link
For greater coherence, try 24ever
Previously on 24...