24 Dreaming
Right now, centipedes are plotting to feed two fish and five loaves to a sharp shoe. My thing and newt are lame, and cradles that I work with may be shiny.

I'm Federal Agent Jack Bauer, and this is the most jade nubbin of my life.

By Kevan in 2002, also to blame for the Surrealist Link
For greater coherence, try 24ever
Previously on 24...