24 Dreaming
Right now, socks are plotting to manufacture a swift scimitar. My helmet is hooded, and tapeworms that I work with may be flip-top.

I'm Federal Agent Jack Bauer, and this is the bawdiest banshee of my life.

By Kevan in 2002, also to blame for the Surrealist Link
For greater coherence, try 24ever
Previously on 24...