24 Dreaming
Right now, mime artists are plotting to fall from the sky onto a ready-salted flapjack. My landmine is crap, and supercomputers that I work with may be bent.

I'm Federal Agent Jack Bauer, and this is the most disappointing bowling ball of my life.

By Kevan, also to blame for the Surrealist Link
For greater coherence, try 24ever
Previously on 24...