24 Dreaming
Right now, hazelnuts are plotting to eat nothing but a squishy bunsen burner. My cashew nut and hedge are childish, and Smurfs that I work with may be green-flavoured.

I'm Federal Agent Jack Bauer, and this is the stoutest snake of my life.

By Kevan, also to blame for the Surrealist Link
For greater coherence, try 24ever
Previously on 24...