24 Dreaming
Right now, spaceships are plotting to sellotape sugarplums to an unwilling almond. My tricycle and jester are glass-bottomed, and snooker cues that I work with may be orange-flavoured.

I'm Federal Agent Jack Bauer, and this is the leakiest pencil sharpener of my life.

By Kevan in 2002, also to blame for the Surrealist Link
For greater coherence, try 24ever
Previously on 24...