24 Dreaming
Right now, raisins are plotting to censor a gin-soaked blender. My seagull and lawn ornament are smashing, and bran flakes that I work with may be lighter-than-air.

I'm Federal Agent Jack Bauer, and this is the most sepia cobra of my life.

By Kevan in 2002, also to blame for the Surrealist Link
For greater coherence, try 24ever
Previously on 24...