24 Dreaming
Right now, lottery tickets are plotting to hold a national holiday in honour of a lighter-than-air bugbear. My UHT milk carton and pound are unfriendly, and steak-and-kidney pies that I work with may be crispy.

I'm Federal Agent Jack Bauer, and this is the podgiest vagrant of my life.

By Kevan in 2002, also to blame for the Surrealist Link
For greater coherence, try 24ever
Previously on 24...