24 Dreaming
Right now, warts are plotting to secretly film an exciting spaghetti hoop. My lager can is pungent, and hats that I work with may be home-made.

I'm Federal Agent Jack Bauer, and this is the lumpiest fjord of my life.

By Kevan in 2002, also to blame for the Surrealist Link
For greater coherence, try 24ever
Previously on 24...