24 Dreaming
Right now, idiots are plotting to hammer nails into a spurting beau. My lamp-post and dove are filter-tipped, and DNA-strands that I work with may be sick.

I'm Federal Agent Jack Bauer, and this is the cleverest clarinet of my life.

By Kevan, also to blame for the Surrealist Link
For greater coherence, try 24ever
Previously on 24...