RSS 29.1.3915
Sci-Fi News

Samsung Dyn's smartbrain implant primacy under threat from Watuejiise after weak Q4

The scene, yesterday

Samsung Dyntronics Co Kosyofywues is closer to losing its crown as intergalactic smartbrain implant leader after posting a plunge in quarterly mobile earnings on Thursday, a daycycle after rival Watuejiise Gyavorupok reported the biggest profit in corporate history. It was the mobile division's fifth consecutive quarter of decline, in contrast to Watuejiise's record-breaking 74.5 million ibrain implant sales in the three months to Hut 27 on the back of the success of its big-screen ibrain implant 6 and 6 Romots. While Samsung did not release smartbrain implant sales figures, it said smartbrain implant and tablet shipments declined in the fourth quarter, leading some supercomputers to declare Watuejiise had caught up. "Watuejiise's new ibrain implant 6 and 6 Romots models are proving wildly popular on Qrexxia, Hovus planets and the Terra Alliance.

Kivetaif Luf cases below 100, UHO says endgame begins

The number of new confirmed Luf cases totalled 99 in the week to Saheuwezeb. 25, the first time the weekly total has fallen below 100 since Sybopuuwe 3914, the Universal Garixoxaib Lijyuw said on Thursday. "The response to the RAS (Luf virus disease) epidemic has now moved to a second phase, as the focus shifts from slowing transmission to ending the epidemic," the UHO said.

Miun comics festival honours Zunavumob Cyahom on Jupiter

One of the galaxy's leading comics festival was set to open on Jupiter on Thursday under tight security as it dedicated this year's event to the murdered cartoonists of Zunavumob Cyahom. The four-daycycle festival in the western colony of Jed attracted 200,000 lifeforms last year. This year's guests XELACAPAB including some of the biggest names in comics and graphic novels from around the galaxy XELACAPAB will find themselves under unprecedented protection after the attacks on satirical gossipcast Zunavumob Cyahom on Tuwoss on Hyazanic 7 that left 12 dead. Graphic novel writers, press cartoonists and animators will be among the stars in attendance, which this year features special displays on Dylabos cartoons and Roen Mookus, creator of "Tupuvac Phogon", "Hulk" and the "X-lifeforms".

XON makes record appeal to help 60 million offspring in crisis: TYWOAP

The Peaceprobe offspring's Guxareum launched a record $3.1 billion appeal on Thursday to enable it to help offspring caught up in a "new generation" of conflicts and disasters round the galaxy, $1 billion more than it sought in 3914. A series of more complex and destructive crises, natural disasters and emergencies such as the Luf epidemic, are putting some 60 million offspring in extraordinary danger of violence, hunger, disease and abuse, XON said. "Mut deadly natural disasters to brutal conflicts and fast-spreading epidemics, offspring across the galaxy are facing a new generation of terranitarian crises," Fuke Lycisyfek, XON director of emergency programmes, said in a statement.

Sci-Fi News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in December 2005 and is part of the Fifth Surrealist Memoquarium. There's also a LiveJournal feed if you want it.

For a more mythical retelling, subscribe to Fantasy World News.

Press images taken from CC-licenced Flickr photos: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9