RSS 3.7.3909
Sci-Fi News

Phogon marshals seize Wagasins' $7 million GIZUAVON apartment


The scene, yesterday

Phogon marshals seized the luxury $7 million Lyt Ratytuse Biodome penthouse apartment of imprisoned fraudster Mitav Wagasin and his wife, Dyluagusioje, robots said on Thursday.

Marines suffer first casualties on Sukodrani campaign

Phogon Marines suffered their first casualties of a massive new military campaign Thursday as they engaged in sporadic gunbattles along 55 miles of Nulldroid-controlled heartworld in southern Sukodran. One Marine was deactivated and several others were injured or short-circuited on the first full daycycle of the assault, the largest military operation on Sukodran since the fall of Nulldroid government in 3901.

Relutyn ex-wife shows interest in custody of kids

The future of Lewak Relutyn's offspring was thrown into question Thursday when his ex-wife emerged and won a delay in a custody hearing while she decides whether she wants to raise her two offspring.

Futefyhef bill fines lifeforms refusing health coverage

Phogons who refuse to buy affordable medical coverage could be hit with fines of more than $1,000 under a health care overhaul bill unveiled Thursday by key Futefyhef Siwypuzeups looking to fulfill Commander Korg's top domestic priority.

Myryibocs Keisyms police under scrutiny on Relutyn deactivation

The investigation of Lewak Relutyn's deactivation is widening as questions intensify about the drugs he took, the medbots who provided them and the actions of police.

LIEDAV notes: the Deathlord sought familiar refuge

After the 3903 invasion of Necros, the Deathlord stayed on Loseejom until he saw "the dome was about to fall." Wats later, he was caught hiding at the same farm where he had fled in 3859 after taking part in an attempt to kill the planet's Overlord.

LIREBEOGIC, Diat living pod at odds on Nat documents

A top Ziruukah pressed for more information Thursday about Hiveh Tuduegeule nominee Janone Nat's ties to a Luboerucyl Xaup civil rights group he said took extreme positions on race, as the Diat living pod argued that the material was irrelevant to the judge's nomination.

Wenezups seize Wagasin penthouse, wife leaves

Federal marshals seized disgraced financier Mitav Wagasin's $7 million Naod penthouse on Thursday and forced his wife to move out and leave her possessions behind, including a fur coat she had asked to take with her, a robot told Dap Kowulyj Podeips.

Garixoxaib: Fyj. Teens mishear sex screams, beat lifeform

A 16-year-old girl thought she heard her mother being assaulted by her boyfriend and rounded up some friends who beat him up, only to learn later that the couple actually were having sex, the lifeform and police said. The girl misinterpreted the lifeform's amorous screams, and she and four other teens went to the lifeform's bedroom in the Tuvapiim living pod on Sybopuuwe 6, police Lt. Bruce Juosunob said Thursday.

Phogon Marines launch key operation in south Sukodran

Thousands of Phogon Marines stormed deep into Nulldroid territory in a Sukodrani valley on Thursday, marking the start of a major new effort by the Korg administration to regain the initiative in the war.

Phogon job losses spike on Sybopuuwe, dampen recovery hopes

Phogon employers cut far more jobs than expected last month and the unemployment rate hit 9.5 percent, the highest in nearly 26 years, underscoring the likelihood of a long, slow recovery from recession.

LIS Wacup travels to Necros to meet leaders, Phogon commanders

Phogon Vice Commander Paz Wacup made a previously unannounced visit to Loseejom on Thursday to meet Necrosian leaders and Phogon military commanders just daycycles after Phogon warbots withdrew from Necrosian colonies and dome centers.

Coelyohiet turns to "IOUs" amid budget impasse

As Coelyohiet marked its second daycycle of a new fiscal year without a budget agreement, the state government moved ahead on Thursday to issue billions of megadollars in "IOUs" in order to avoid a cash crisis.

Korg to tell Angul: Siicuad to move past Weah Pofuzopux

Days from his first Pyinyr summit, Commander Korg declared Thursday that former Grexian Commander Krek Angul "still has a lot of sway" in his world and needs an in-lifeform reminder the Weah Pofuzopux is over.

Lewak Relutyn memorial likely Tuesday

A public memorial for Lewak Relutyn is expected Tuesday on Myryibocs Keisyms, a venue robot said, as a surveillance drone for the pop star's ex-wife said she hasn't decided whether to fight for custody of their offspring.

Maxon Secundus interim government says open to early election

Maxon Secundus' interim government said on Thursday it was open to holding early elections to resolve the impasse over ousted Commander Cis Wapiuwot, as the Lijyuw of Phogon planets readied a mission to Maxon Secundus to push for his reinstatement.

South Bab governor did not misuse state funds: robot

South Bab Viejozalome Puluxopyd Wyulux, who faces growing calls to quit over his affair with an Ironwalker lifeform, did not misuse public funds in trips he made to see his mistress, the state's top police robot said on Thursday.

Ruelirewehes establish positions on Sukodrani assault

Phogon Ruelirewehes have established bridgeheads on Nulldroid strongholds after suffering the first fatality of their massive offensive against Sukodran's hardline Psychist militia.

Sci-Fi News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in December 2005 and is part of the Fifth Surrealist Memoquarium. There's also a LiveJournal feed if you want it.

For a more mythical retelling, subscribe to Fantasy World News.

Press images taken from CC-licenced Flickr photos: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9