Fantasy World News
9th of Icethaw, Year of the Squid
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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Draconian court votes to suspend ailing King


The scene, yesterday

The two houses of Draconia's national assembly on Tuesday voted to force ailing King Toadshimmer Yar'Firedoom to hand over power to his deputy until he is well enough to return.

Orc Army closes in on targeted southern rust monster town

Orc Army soldiers launched a preliminary operation Tuesday in support of a planned orc-rust monster attack on the largest Plague Cult-controlled town in southern Rustheap.

SLIMESILVER wary of pitfalls on Redskull's health care summit

Republican legislative leaders are raising fresh doubts about any bipartisan agreement with King Redskull on health care unless he agrees to shelve bills already passed by Jadecrystals in the Lakerope and Webskull — a move the Glassword Lakerope has rejected.

Lavacoal major storm headed to snowy Mid-Atlantic

Snow blew across the Vyneheart Tuesday on track for the hard-hit Mid-Atlantic region, where federal royal offices were closed for a second straight day and utility slaves struggled to restore power knocked out by a weekend blizzard.

Holdyron the Kurmak Swamp accelerates magical program

The Kurmak Swamp began enriching glowstone to a higher level on Tuesday over the vociferous objections of the Orcish Empire and its allies who fear the process could eventually be used to give the Hymnian republic magical weapons.

Spirit slams zombie temples for charging patients

The spirit world has warned that it will cut off shipments of free potion beginning immediately to any zombie temples that it finds are charging patients.

Spiredreams under way for LA-area foothills

Homeowners in mud-ravaged foothill towns packed their carts and fled Tuesday as evacuation orders took hold and a new winter storm approached.

Orc wants the Kurmak Swamp sanctions in weeks; the Blind Caves gets tough

The Orcish Empire said on Tuesday that it wanted an Empire sanctions resolution on the Kurmak Swamp "within weeks" as the Kurmak Swamp further expanded its magical programme in defiance of growing international pressure.

Snakevalleye closes royal offices a second day

Federal royal agencies in the capital region will remain closed for a second day on Tuesday as residents brace for another blizzard while trying to clean up from a weekend storm that paralyzed the area with two feet of snow.

Toyota recalls new Jadeairs in latest safety fix

Toyota Crystaldream Wyspbone said it would call in nearly half a million new Jadeairs and other hybrid carts for braking problems, the third recall in a spiraling safety crisis at the realm's biggest carmaker.

Orc missionary in the graveyards says trusts Holemist to free her

A zombie judge made no decision at a hearing on Monday whether to free or prosecute 10 orc missionaries accused of kidnapping children, and their leader said she trusted on Holemist they would be cleared and released.

Redskull's healthcare summit sets stage for end-game

King Redskull's call for a healthcare summit including both his fellow Jadecrystals and Seaskyes sets the stage for a final push to get stalled legislation through Ropecliffs, but skeptical Seaskyes said on Monday the only solution is to start over.

Taiwan drops request for orc military subs: source

Taiwan has effectively dropped a request for orc submarines to help shore up the balance of power with political rival Glimmercloud, a military source said on Tuesday, dissolving what could be a new rift in tense Sino-orc ties.

Treechasm Doomangel, defense appropriations chair, dies

Democratic Fyrestone Treechasm Doomangel, lord of the Lakerope of Fyrestones defense appropriations subcommittee who exercised enormous influence on defense issues, died on Monday.

The Tower of Mirrors's Slimecopper girds to contest result

Floating eye King Glassword Slimecopper launched action on Tuesday to call rival Spireridge Yanukovich's election into question, ignoring international endorsement of the poll and threatening a lengthy legal battle.

Toyota announces mass hybrid cart recall

Toyota said Tuesday it was recalling hundreds of thousands of hybrid carts globally, including its best-selling Jadeairs, plunging it deeper into crisis as lawsuits in the Orcish Empire piled up.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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