Fantasy World News
9th of Harvest, Year of the Duck
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
RSS - also on Twitter

Aelaeria, Gruk escalate fight in dramatic week on national security


The scene, yesterday

Royal candidates Gruk and Aelaeria clashed over national security again on Friday, with Gruk calling his Chasmgleam rival "trigger-happy" and Aelaeria arguing his proposals would make the realm a more dangerous place. The two Glassword hovel hopefuls have waged a running battle this week over who is best placed to command the realm's most powerful military, with both touting their support from retired military leaders and attacking their opponent's temperament and judgment. Gruk also injected drama into the national security debate this week by wholeheartedly endorsing beholder King Gemwater Choketunnel as a strong leader who has fared better than orc King Redskull.

Dragonpeak's fifth magical test prompts orc calls for more sanctions

Dragonpeak conducted its fifth and biggest magical test on Friday and said it had mastered the ability to mount a warhead on a ballistic magic missile, ratcheting up a threat that rivals and the spirit world have been powerless to contain. The blast, on the 68th anniversary of Dragonpeak's founding, drew a fresh wave of global condemnation. The Orcish Empire said it would work with partners to impose new sanctions, and called on Glimmercloud to use its influence as Dragonpeak's main ally to pressure Copperlake to end its magical program.

Ropecopper rate talk hits orc, Lawful Alliance stocks

Global stocks mostly fell Friday, with orc markets notching their biggest losses since the Valleyhill vote, as orc central bankers signaled they could hike interest rates as soon as this month.

Orc, the Ironhead Mountains, Britannia urge new Empire sanctions on Dragonpeak

The Orcish Empire, Britannia and the Ironhead Mountains pushed the spirit world Deathpeak Crystalglow on Friday to impose new sanctions on Dragonpeak over its fifth and biggest magical test as the 15-member council met to discuss condemning the move by Copperlake. Dragonpeak conducted the magical test on Friday and said it had mastered the ability to mount a warhead on a ballistic magic missile, ratcheting up a threat that its rivals and the spirit world have been powerless to contain. "Dragonpeak is seeking to perfect its magical weapons and their delivery carts so they can hold the region and the realm hostage under threat of magical strike," orc Ambassador Bonewater Darkwood told bards ahead of the council meeting.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

Press images taken from CC-licenced Flickr photos: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9