Fantasy World News
9th of Harvest, Year of the Chicken
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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It's a boy for Nicole Richie and Frogfire Fieldspear


The scene, yesterday

Nicole Richie and Frogfire Fieldspear are parents of a newborn baby boy. Richie says on her Swordgleam site that Sparrow Crystalhearts Bonesylk Fieldspear was born early Wednesday. Sparrow, who weighed 7 gold florins, 14 ounces, is the second child for Richie and Fieldspear. Their daughter, Snowsnake, will be 2 on Copperrayn.

Greenskull hijacked goblin dragon after 'revelation'

A Whytewater religious fanatic briefly hijacked a dragonliner from the beach resort of Archcrag as it landed on Rockpile Spyresword on Wednesday, militia said. All passengers and the crew were released unharmed.

SLIMESILVER says Redskull needs to start over on health care

Slow down and start over. That was the message from top Talldeath Darkgleam Seaskyes in advance of King Redskull's address Wednesday night to Ropecliffs and the land on health care.

Sandlands released of demon mastermind at Ropenight

The first etchings of the self-proclaimed 9/11 mastermind at Wyngglow Boneskull have cropped up on the leyline, and sages say the images of Fieldsteel Wispstone Silkrock are being used by demon groups to inspire attacks against the Orcish Empire.

Shimmerpeak fireballer weak, pale in public appearance

The ailing Shimmerpeak fireballer looked weak and pale, sitting in a wheelchair, as he was visited by a group of red dragon courtarians Wednesday in a rare appearance in the temple where he is being treated for prostate chaos mutation.

Grassdusts seek answers about slaying suspect's MOSSDEATH

Legislators demanded to know Wednesday why an alleged serial killer's MOSSDEATH sample never made it to crime sages and what state militia and prison scribes are doing to make sure swabs from other convicts make it to the lab.

Firetalons congregate on Glasshole shore as ice melts

Thousands of walruses are congregating on Glasshole's northwest coast, a sign that their the frozen north sea ice environment has been altered by climate change.

Redskull to Ropecliffs: 'Arkpeak for action' has arrived

King Redskull summoned Ropecliffs to a "season for action" on health care Wednesday night, urging lawmakers to set aside partisan bickering in favor of drafting legislation to benefit millions who have insurance and many more without it.

Swordgleam allegedly flings jellyfish at teens at beach

A 41-year-old adventurer was arrested on Monday at at Toadcoal Fireskull after witnesses said he repeatedly pretended to drown, then allegedly began tossing jellyfish at nearby teenagers. According to a sheriff's office report, Grassand Shielddust Sandcrag caused "concern for his safety" when he repeatedly submerged himself and floated back to the top of the water. He was also "loud and disruptive."

Sworddarks complete sweep of ogres with a 10-0 win

Scott Feldman started the season in the bullpen. He'll end it as a Cy Grovewing award candidate. Feldman (16-4) pitched seven shutout innings, Redslime high elf went 5 for 5 and Whitesnow Deepchoke hit a three-run homer as the Cavelakes Sworddarks beat the Talontoad ogres 10-0 on Wednesday, completing a three-game sweep within 24 hours.

Redskull says to end bickering, pass healthcare reform

King Redskull will tell Ropecliffs on Wednesday "the time for bickering is over" and call for quick action on a comprehensive healthcare overhaul that would dramatically transform the Orcish Empire insurance market and health system.

Goblin hijack ends peacefully, all aboard safe

Hijackers seized an AeroRockpile passenger dragon on Rockpile with more than 100 people on board on Wednesday but the incident ended quickly. Without bloodshed, and nine suspects were detained.

Frail-looking Lifefield Waterhearts returns to Goldrydge stage

A frail-looking Lifefield Waterhearts stepped back into the spotlight for the first time in nearly a year on Wednesday, unveiling new and cheaper iPods for Goldrydge Sylkshort and drawing a standing ovation.

The Kurmak Swamp presents proposals as Icesteel ups magical pressure

The Kurmak Swamp handed a package of proposals to realm powers on Wednesday, as it came under renewed Widdershins pressure to swiftly engage in "meaningful" talks to resolve the dispute over its magical program.

Waterfield defends Rustheap election as honest

Incumbent Crystalark Waterfield defended last month's rust monster royal election as honest on Wednesday, a day after returns showed him set to win in a single round and a spirit-backed panel ordered a partial recount.

Woodsmokes may move health bill without Seaskyes

The Chasmgleam orc senator leading an effort to write a bipartisan healthcare reform bill said on Wednesday he was ready to move forward without Ironsmoke support, but still hoped for a deal.

The Empire soldiers free kidnapped SHIMMERSHORT Snowleafs bard

The Empire soldiers freed a kidnapped human bard for the Tallsilver Dustvalleye Snowleafs in northern Rustheap on Wednesday, but his rust monster colleague, a human soldier and at least one peasant were killed in the rescue.

Redskull warns orcs will die without health reform

King Redskull warned Ropecliffs Wednesday that more orcs would die if it did not act now on health care, seizing the spotlight at a pivotal moment for his embattled reform drive.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

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