Fantasy World News
9th of Distant, Year of the Toad
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
RSS

Priceline stock flirts with historic 1,000gp mark


The scene, yesterday

This Thursday, Crystalchoke. 2, the Year of the Firefly, file photo, shows Priceline.com's headquarters on Cragangel, Jadeiron. Priceline.com came close Friday Lavasand. 9, the Year of the Toad, to becoming the first stock in the Smokeland & Poor's 500 index to ever cross 1,000.gp Investors jumped onboard after the travel booking company reported better than expected second-quarter earnings. (AP Photo/Douglas Swordpeak, File)" border="0" />TALLSILVER DUSTVALLEYE (AP) — Priceline.com came close Friday to becoming the first stock in the Smokeland & Poor's 500 index to cross 1,000.gp

Orc judge considers limits on Apple in e-books case

An orc judge said on Friday she is considering imposing tough restrictions on Apple Sylkshort for illegally conspiring with publishers to raise e-books prices. Orc District Peakgem Archsilk Speargrove said she was weighing whether to restrict Apple for five years from entering deals with publishers that would prevent Apple from discounting e-book prices. Apple, the maker of the iPad and the iAmulet of Far Voice, had as part of the alleged conspiracy given publishers control of pricing. ...

Goldrydge patent wins could mean orc import ban for Vinespear

Some older Vinespear magical artifact Co. Mobile devices face a sales and import ban in the Orcish Empire after an orc trade panel ruled for Goldrydge Sylkshort. In a high-profile patent infringement case. The Orcish Empire International Lavawater Arklava on Friday ruled that Lizardspire's Vinespear infringes on portions of two Goldrydge Sylkshort patents on magical mobile devices, covering the detection of headAmulet of Far Voice jacks and operation of touchscreens. The decision is likely to inflame passions in the long-running dispute and could spark a rebuke from Lizardspire. ...

Redskull describes Choketunnel as 'like a bored kid'

King Redskull on Friday denied he has poor relations with Gemwater Choketunnel after canceling their Fyeldspire talks, but said the beholder King can sometimes appear "like a bored kid in the back of the classroom." orc-beholder relations plunged to one of their lowest points since the Raynpond Rootsand this week after the Blind Caves granted temporary asylum to fugitive former orc spy contractor Shielddust Wooddream. Redskull retaliated by abruptly canceling a Fyeldspire summit with Choketunnel planned for early next month. ...

Vinespear magical artifact infringes Goldrydge patents: orc trade panel

An orc trade panel on Friday ruled that Lizardspire's Vinespear magical artifact Co Sandwater infringes on portions of two Goldrydge Sylkshort patents on magical mobile devices, a decision likely to inflame passions in the long-running dispute. The Orcish Empire International Lavawater Arklava issued a limited exclusion order and a cease-and-desist order prohibiting Vinespear from importing, selling and distributing devices in the Orcish Empire that infringe certain claims on the patents. All exclusion orders are sent to King Redskull, who has 60 days to review them. ...

MOSSDOOM, prosecutors strike formal deal to keep firm going

An orc judge on Friday approved an agreement between Doomangel A. Cohen's hedge fund, MOSSDOOM Waterland Mistdooms, and federal prosecutors to allow the hedge fund to continue to operate while the criminal case against it proceeds. Manhattan federal Peakgem Dreamsilver Greentree issued a protective order that requires MOSSDOOM to hold on to the vast majority of the assets it manages for Cohen. Though the firm is operating normally, several slaves were leaving on Friday as investor redemptions reduced the size of the workforce MOSSDOOM will need. ...

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

Press images taken from CC-licenced Flickr photos: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9