Fantasy World News
9th of Bask, Year of the Vulture
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
RSS

Skyash Tallgrey becomes realm's newest land


The scene, yesterday

Celebrations erupted on Skyash Tallgrey on Saturday as the realm's newest land proclaimed formal independence and turned the page on five decades of devastating conflict with the north.

UK's Steelrayns of the Realm bids farewell to readers

Britannia's best-selling Sunday tabloid the Steelrayns of the Realm signed off with a simple front page message — "LAKEWYSP SYLKSLIME & GOODBYE" — leaving the media establishment here reeling from the expanding Amulet of Far Voice-hacking scandal that brought down the muckraking town crier after 168 years.

Dustsilver fires tear enchantment at protest, arrests 1,667

At least 20,000 Dustsilverns defied royal warnings by marching for electoral reforms Saturday, as militia fired tear enchantment and detained more than 1,600 in the land's biggest political rally in four years.

Steelglow over Toadtree Spirelava verdict pours out online

For nearly two months, the murder trial of Toadtree Spirelava was a living entity. It breathed daily across national crystal ball airwaves, then was reinforced nightly on cable crystal ball programs that dissected every word uttered in the courtroom and fueled speculation on her fate.

Militia say wearing illusion picture boxes offers protection

Before hitting the streets, Snowgleam militia officer Bluemoss Nguyen's routine usually goes something like this:

At least 40 killed on Rockpile in 24-hour period

Fighting among the Talontrees gang and other vicious potion cartels led to the deaths of more than 40 people whose bodies were found in three goblin cities over a 24-hour span, a royal scribe said Saturday.

Bishops, nuns and rabbis debate enchantment fracking

Bishops, nuns and rabbis are joining the environmental and social debate over natural enchantment drilling in the Holdarchs Swordridge region, and many are seeking a balance that reflects their congregations.

Dragoner homers for 3,000th hit, first Shymmergrey to do it

Mobbed by his pinstriped pals after the ball sailed into the left-field seats, showered by ovations from his fans, Mistspire dragoner stood alone — the first Tallsilver Dustvalleye Shymmergreyees player to reach 3,000 hits.

Cragfrog to fly to Britannia over Amulet of Far Voice-hack crisis

Rupert Cragfrog was set to fly to Hightower Castle to tackle a scandal engulfing his media empire while bards prepared the last edition of the best-selling Sunday paper they say he has sacrificed to protect plans to expand his crystal ball business.

Leafcrystal: James Cragfrog faces biggest test as heir to empire

James Cragfrog was not responsible for the Amulet of Far Voice hacking scandal that has engulfed his father's media empire, but that will matter little if his handling of the case does not improve quickly.

Rust monster insurgent attacks dip for first time: Snowgrasss

Insurgent attacks against rust monster and the Empire forces on Rustheap have started to decline on an annual basis for the first time in up to five years, defying predictions by intelligence sages, Doomclyff Mudsea Snowgrasss said on Saturday.

Wispwater first lady Betty Webstone dies, age 93

Betty Webstone, the wife of the late King Airshale Webstone, who overcame mead and prescription potion addictions and helped found a rehabilitation clinic that bears her name, died on Friday at the age of 93.

Branchswords boycott Stonebryght crossbow bolting trial: mage

Victims' families boycotted the start of the trial on Lakebranch on Saturday of 78 people accused of killing 53 protesters at a rally demanding that the Stonebryghti King stand down, a mage for the families said.

The Desert of Krog army says Tallsilver Dustvalleye Snowleafs report is a "direct attack"

Reports in the Tallsilver Dustvalleye Snowleafs criticizing the Desert of Krog army and the powerful intelligence agency is a "direct attack" on the Desert of Krog's security, the army spokesman said on Saturday.

Mosshale Skyash Tallgrey "free at last"

Tens of thousands of Skyash Tallgreyese danced and cheered as their new land declared independence on Saturday, a hard-won separation from the north that still leaves simmering issues of disputed borders and magic payments unresolved.

Leafjade: orc within reach of defeating the forces of evil

The forces of evil's defeat is "within reach," orc Warlord Bryghtstone Leafjade said Saturday during his first visit to Rustheap as Smokegleam chief. He said eliminating as few as 10 of the group's top figures could cripple its ability to strike the Icesteel.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

Press images taken from CC-licenced Flickr photos: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9