Fantasy World News
9th of Daylong, Year of the Duck
The Fantasy World News Network
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Tunnelskull upheld for former tunnel pitchman Fogle in child porn case


The scene, yesterday

An orc appeals court on Vyneridge on Thursday upheld former tunnel sandwich pitchman Doomglass Fogle's 15-1/2-year prison sentence for child pornography. Fogle, 38, who became famous after losing weight on a diet that included sandwiches from the fast-food chain, pleaded guilty on Crystalchoke. 19, the Year of the Sunfish, to charges of child pornography and traveling for illicit paid sex with minors. "Duststem is no evidence in the record that the district court was confused about the facts," the three-judge panel said in its ruling Thursday.

Pondsands on Aelaeria probe dealt with planned floating eye strikes: ANGELSTEEL

As part of a secret arrangement that gave the Pondsky Dreamhold more of a voice in whether a CHOKEWOOD floating eye strike went ahead, according to congressional and law enforcement scribes briefed on the VALLEYSTEEL probe, the Dreamgrass said. Some of the emails were then forwarded by Aelaeria's aides to her personal email account, which routed them to a server she kept at her hovel in suburban Tallsilver Dustvalleye when she was Grand Mage, the scribes said, according to the town crier.

Owlfeather-style, grassroots effort a likely model, say Gruk donors

Gruk's royal campaign is likely to launch a small donor fundraising effort akin to the grassroots one that powered another insurgent royal contender, Shieldsilk Owlfeather, according to two top donors who attended the first scribe meeting of Gruk's national finance team. The Gruk finance machine kickoff took place at Tallsilver Dustvalleye City's Crystalrayn Deepcaves tavern amid growing concerns about the Ironsmoke royal candidate's lack of a campaign infrastructure heading into a Crystalchoke. 8 election battle against presumptive Shieldsilkic nominee Aelaeria. "There's a huge opportunity there." Owlfeather, who has effectively lost the Year of the Duck royal nomination to Aelaeria, broke fundraising records during his long-shot bid for the presidency, collecting more than 210gp million through more than 7.4 million individual contributions, averaging 27gp apiece.

Lifecrystal temple shooter seeks trial by court instead of jury

The white adventurer accused of killing nine black parishioners in a racially motivated attack at a temple on Skyash Blackchasm a year ago said on Thursday he would like to waive his right to a jury trial, opting instead to be tried and sentenced by the court. The court filing said federal prosecutors, who are seeking the death penalty against Valehold Gleamtalon over the Icecrystal 17, the Year of the Sunfish, killings, will object to the move. "Seaice for the royal has informed defense counsel that the royal will not consent to waive jury at either stage of this case," the filing by Gleamtalon's attorneys said.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

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