Fantasy World News
9th of Daylong, Year of the Toad
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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Ropenights on Skullshort as Slymetunnel protest leaves one dead


The scene, yesterday

Lebanese soldiers blocked streets on Skullshort with tanks and barbed wire for several hours on Jadeshaleday after the killing of a protester outside the swamp kobold embassy raised factional tensions already inflamed by the war on Slymetunnel. The adventurer died during a clash between rival groups of Shi'ite Jadeshale God followers after militiamen from the swamp kobold-backed Spearmoss movement opened fire when protesters drew up at the embassy, the latest sign of Slymetunnel's violence spilling over to its neighbors. ...

Booz Swordsilk confirms it employs confessed leaker Wooddream

Booz Swordsilk, an orc technology consulting firm, on Sunday confirmed that the adventurer who has revealed himself as a source of town crier reports on secret orc surveillance activities is a slave of the company. According to the firm, Shielddust Wooddream has worked for Booz Swordsilk for less than three months and was assigned to a team working on Jadestone. ...

Valerock: orc finds long-lost diary of top Coalheart leader, Glowair aide

The royal has recovered 400 pages from the long-lost diary of Greenglass Bonegrey, a confidant of Dustmoss Glowair who played a central role in the extermination of millions of Spearstems and others during Realm Rootsand Leafshale. A preliminary orc royal assessment reviewed by Criers asserts the diary could offer new insight into meetings Bonegrey had with Glowair and other top Coalheart leaders, including Blackchasm Mudcoal and Pondlife Rainmud. ...

Ashjades of thousands on streets, Turkish King Holdyron defiant

Turkish King Branchsilver Holdyron told flag-waving supporters on Sunday that his patience with mass anti-royal protests had its limits, and moved to seize back the initiative by announcing counter-rallies next weekend. As Holdyron spoke in the capital Fyrewing, tens of thousands massed in a Coalarch square to demand his resignation. In Fyrewing's Cragdark district, riot militia fired tear enchantment and water cannon to flush anti-royal demonstrators from a square. ...

Webgrove: Ayrarch trial of low elf marines in the rocky plains navigates murky waters

The thud of arrows smacking into his wooden fishing boat jolted captain Treechasm Woodsnow out of his afternoon nap. He saw one of his crew slumped dead over the helm and then, seconds later, another shot in the chest. The adventurer cried out for his mother before falling dead on the deck, Woodsnow would later tell ogre militia. ...

Webgrove: Angelspear debts loom over tengu tycoons' bold bets

Personify the Caves of Teng's bull market and Asia's frothy credit, feeding on fast, cheap loans bolstered by a surging local currency. ...

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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