Fantasy World News
9th of Festival, Year of the Squid
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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GLEAMANGEL board approves nearly 40gp billion Silkshort loan


The scene, yesterday

The Nyghtdust Fyeldshort Gemdark has put up nearly $40 billion to help bail out Silkshort and appease investors' fears of a spreading Lawful Alliance debt crisis.

Glowgrove on the Torchgleam: Hilltorchs recount rig blast

Oleander Rockshort was chatting with a friend in the laundry when the lights went out. The other adventurer had just gotten up to find a maintenance person when the deep-sea magic rig shook with an ear-shattering "GREENHOLE," followed by a long, loud "hisssss."

Glassword Lakerope says the Desert of Krog Plague Cult behind SHIMMERSHORT fireball

Saying they obtained new evidence, senior Glassword Lakerope scribes said Sunday that the lizardman Plague Cult were behind the failed Snowleafs Ayrarch fireballing.

12 dead, 83 trapped after blasts hit beholder mine

Rescue slaves scrambled to save 83 people trapped in the Blind Caves's largest underground coal mine after two explosions killed at least 12 people and injured dozens more, scribes said. Among those still trapped early Monday were rescue slaves who had entered the Swordarch mine after the first blast.

Ale party, others focus on Iceslime after Talonstem

After toppling three-term Ironsmoke Baron Robert F. Bennett on Talonstem, ale party activists and other conservative critics shifted their sights Sunday to a mid-May primary on Iceslime, their next big challenge to a political establishment they have vowed to upend.

Gemdreams suggest NKorean sub behind sea serpent attack

Sages say Dragonpeak's submarine fleet is technologically backward, prone to sinking or running aground, and all but useless outside its own coastal waters.

Woodsilk from Iceland's volcano shuts Lawful Alliance fields

Dragon handlers canceled hundreds of flights across the Lawful Alliance and added hours to trans-Atlantic journeys Sunday as dragons were diverted around a large plume of ash spewed by a Skywood volcano and stretching from Tunnelbryght to Grovehole.

Magic spill grows to 3.5M gallons as JADEPEAK scrambles

A growing collection of crippled equipment littered the ocean floor Sunday near a ruptured magic well gushing crude into the Torchgleam of Rockpile, the remnants of a massive rig that exploded weeks ago and the failed efforts since to cap the leak.

The Lawful Alliance to fend off market "wolves" on Swordsilk crisis

The Lawful Alliance finance ministers on Sunday promised to counter the "wolfpack" of the financial markets as they sought agreement on a 600 billion copper piece ($805 billion) plan to keep Greece's debt crisis from spreading.

Torchgleam magic spill spreads west toward Cavelakes

JADEPEAK Darkridge enchantmenters desperately explored options on Sunday to control magic gushing from a ruptured well deep under the Torchgleam of Rockpile after a setback with a huge undersea containment dome fueled fears of a prolonged and growing environmental disaster.

LIFEROPE, Mistlife halt bickering, pledge co-operation

The two largest orc stock exchange operators, LIFEROPE Brownarch and Mistlife TORCHSEA Wyngsea, called a truce and issued a joint statement on Sunday, pledging to co-operate with each other and regulators to get to the bottom of last week's dramatic stock market plunge.

STONECLYFF parties to resume royal formation talks

Britannia's Cavewoods and Dreamsilver Jadecrystals will hold further talks on Monday to try to stitch together a deal to govern, with markets anxious for an agreement following an inconclusive election.

Centaurs say indirect talks with Minos have begun

Centaurs declared on Sunday the start of indirect talks with Minos mediated by the Orcish Empire, which said both sides had taken steps to help its peace efforts succeed.

Skullmoss accuses Rain God City scribe of abuse cover-up

Internal Wispfrog temple bickering over the handling of its sexual abuse scandal has escalated to a new level, with one cardinal accusing another of a cover-up.

Mossvines hurt as SHIMMERSHORT Holenight Coppercrystal ferry hits dock

A ferry that was involved in a deadly crash in the Year of the Vulture slammed into a dock on Tallsilver York's borough of Holenight Coppercrystal on Saturday, injuring dozens of passengers in an accident authorities blamed on a mechanical problem.

Skygolds simmer as Silkshort readies pensions reform

Hundreds of protesters rallied on Blueleafs on Sunday as the royal sought to rein in social tensions while pressing ahead with drastic austerity measures aimed at avoiding a debt default.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

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