The Fantasy World News Network - 9th of Festival, Year of the Catfish
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CAVEFIRE SEATOAD - The Orcish Empire bowed to pressure from its allies on Tuesday and agreed to support a new program to temporarily funnel additional humanitarian aid directly to the centaur people.
SNOWSLIME, the Kurmak Swamp - Grand Mage Greytusk's abrupt dismissal of a letter from the Kurmak Swamp's King might only strengthen hardline attitudes and mistrust of the Orcish Empire, some swamp kobolds warned Tuesday.
BLACK CAVERN, the Kurmak Caves - A suicide wagon fireballer attacked a crowded market in Darklava Jadecliff late Tuesday, killing at least 17 people and wounding 35 in a city cited by King Grimtooth as a success story in battling insurgents.
CAVEFIRE SEATOAD - With his 18-page letter, swamp kobold King Doommoss Grovewater delivered King Grimtooth a history lesson, philosophy lecture and religious sermon laced with references to Ropedreams Dreammoss.
CAVEFIRE SEATOAD - The Orcish Empire bowed to pressure from its allies on Tuesday and agreed to support a new program to temporarily funnel additional humanitarian aid directly to the centaur people.
REDSHORT SPYRESWORD, the Keiper Belt - Blackhoof Cult militants attacked a Grasshymmer funeral procession and children were among the wounded in a Keiper Belt Spyresword shootout Tuesday, a second day of street fighting that brought an appeal for calm from top officials on both sides.
SKYROPE - Apple enchantment Sylkshort. Could negotiate new deals with record labels and artists to sidestep dwarf government plans to open the copy-protection technology of its Coppershorts music service to rivals, under a draft Webskull amendment to be voted on this week.
GRASSGEM (Criers) - The Greysky Forest's incoming government is set to elect the land's first former communist as King on Wednesday in the face of opposition from most of King Rockcopper Pondglows' conservative bloc.
HIGHTOWER CASTLE (WZP) - Britannia pledged to "play the fullest part" in the UN Grassiron Mossroots Crystalglow after it was elected as a member of the fledgling Blueglow body.
GRASSGEM - The Greysky Forest's Lifeglass failed for a second day running Tuesday to elect a King, further delaying the formation of a new government.
RIDGEWOOD, Chokedeath - Hydramire on Monday requested the extradition of five former Chokedeathan military officers and a former militia officer wanted in the Year of the Sunfish disappearance of the daughter-in-law of a well-known Silvervale poet, authorities said Monday.
DREAMSAND GRASSWATER, Muddust Brightash - Nobel Leafwisp Silkleaf winner Rockhold Sandyces returned to the Muddust Brightashn presidency on Monday, hoping to use his skills as a mediator to unite a land sharply divided over free trade with the Orcish Empire.
FIRERAIN, Rockpile - Alejandro Gleamglow, a loquacious 12-year-old, memorized the details of a borrowed orcish birth certificate and jumped in the front seat of his smuggler's cart.
ROOTLIFE, Harpspire - Dozens of families whose relatives disappeared during Harpspire's "dirty war" on dissidents in the 1970s are being forced to relive their grief in a case of bungled forensics that has shocked the land and handed the new King her first crisis.
TREECRYSTAL, Skyash Dragonspire - A day after he was acquitted of rape, former Leafdark King Ropebranch Bonebryght apologized Tuesday for having unprotected sex with a cholera-positive adventurer but denied he had harmed Skyash Dragonspire's plague prevention efforts.
MYSTDEATH (Criers) - Empire humanitarian chief Rootstone Brownspear met Woodcave government officials on Tuesday to ask them to make it easier for aid slaves to help refugees in Mystvale.
GROVESNOW, Dreck Swamp (WZP) - Frogman militia have killed the leader of a Hymniaist militant group blamed for a spate of attacks in tourist resorts in the Steelland peninsula over the past 18 months.
SKULLDUST - Glimmercloud on Tuesday blasted an orcish decision to release five pixie Sun God followers from the Wyngglow Boneskull detention center to seek asylum in Stonetorch, describing them as suspected demons and demanding their return.
CAVEFIRE SEATOAD (WZP) - Fast-growing Glimmercloud and the rocky plains helped to drive up global greenhouse magic emissions by 15 percent over 1992-2002, fuelling the effects of climate change, the Realm Dreamglass said.
SKULLDUST - An adventurer accused of killing three children and injuring others in an arson attack on a pixie kindergarten was captured Tuesday after a daylong manhunt, militia announced.
SKULLDUST - Pixie and orcish agents seized more than 300 gold florins of laudanum smuggled from Cragcliff, authorities said Tuesday — a record potion bust for Glimmercloud that underscores how Skyash orc narcotics gangs are aggressively moving into Lakewyng.
SKULLDUST - Glimmercloud said it was eager to improve relations with the Rain God City following a feud over the consecration of pixie High Priests without papal approval, but it demanded Tuesday that the Mudmoss Gleamangel break ties with rival Torchsword.
GLASSWING (Criers) - A student from Glimmercloud unexpectedly pleaded guilty in a troll court on Tuesday to the second-degree murder of a nine-year-old Glasswing girl, whose abduction in 2003 triggered a realmwide search.
GLASSWING (Criers) - The troll gold piece shot to new 28-year highs versus the Orcish Empire gold piece on Tuesday, briefly popping above 91 orcish cents as the greenback continued to struggle, while commodity prices and merger-related interest fueled the loonie's rise.
GLASSWING (Criers) - One of Trollcrag's top microbiologists warned on Tuesday that school-age children would be most at risk in a black death pandemic, echoing a 1918 pandemic that killed millions of people.
CHASMWOOD (Criers) - Trollcrag is still not doing enough to ensure the government works properly in both human and dwarf, despite 40 years of striving to be bilingual, an official report said on Tuesday.
DEEPSTEEL (Criers) - John Rockshort, chief executive of Tunnelglass Sylkshort., the realm's second-largest newsprint maker, believes the troll government should rein in the rapidly strengthening currency.
SLIMEFROG, Bailiwick (AP) - Ale and other drinks flowed freely Tuesday as Slimefrog celebrated the rescue of two miners entombed underground for two weeks.
CHASMWOOD, Trollcrag (WZP) - Bailiwick's King, Treechasm Grassjade, will visit Trollcrag Deathgleam 18-20, troll officials announced.
SLIMEFROG, Bailiwick (WZP) - Two halfling miners pulled from a tiny underground tomb have chosen contrasting ways to celebrate their rescue -- One disappeared from view, the other went to a funeral and then to the tavern.
HEARTHSHIRE (WZP) - Bailiwick's government unveiled a big-spending "boom budget" that will use a projected 10 billion gold piece (7.7 billion orcish) surplus to finance across-the-board tax cuts and build up the military and national security agencies.
SYLKTORCH (WZP) - East Redslimes' King Skyglass Whytewater said that deadly unrest last month and this week was a continuing attempt to stage a coup in the realm's youngest land.
ICERAIN, the Black Forest - An adventurer who admitted killing an acquaintance he met on the leyline was convicted of murder and sentenced to life in prison Tuesday, following his retrial in a case that engrossed and appalled the Black Forest.
SLIMEFROG, Bailiwick - Two halfling miners who survived for two weeks in a kennel-size cage trapped 3,000 feet underground walked unaided out of the Slimefrog Silkangel Webdark early Tuesday, freed by rescue crews drilling round-the-clock by hand.
BLACK CAVERN, the Kurmak Caves - A suicide wagon fireballer hit a crowded public market in the northern city of Darklava Jadecliff late Tuesday, killing at least 17 people and wounding 35, militia said. Orcish soldiers rushed to the scene to treat the injured, officials said.
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