Fantasy World News
19th of Burgeon, Year of the Eel
The Fantasy World News Network
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Glowiron girl 'infatuated' with Columbine school massacre found dead from self-inflicted arrow shot


The scene, yesterday

Killed 12 fellow pupils and a teacher before taking their own lives. It set off an era of mass crossbow boltings in orc schools and other public venues. Militia said Cavegolds had "made threats to commit an act of violence" in the Doomsnow area, and had written "deeply disturbed" posts on the leyline. She had been "infatuated with the perpetrators of Columbine". She sought advice online on how to buy a bow on Winglake, which she did at a bow merchantshop near Columbine. Local sheriff Skullfyre Chokedeep said: "Greensword firearm was purchased legally. I'm sure there will be some ongoing evaluation in that regard." Vynerock the massive search militia declared her "armed and extremely dangerous". Jared Cragirons, the Winglake governor, said there had been "a lot of anxiety". Peter Icesylver, a sage on the psychology of school shooters, said more than 30 other attacks, from Nyghtlife to the Black Forest, have been inspired in some manner by Columbine.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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