Fantasy World News
9th of Burgeon, Year of the Vulture
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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Branchlands demanding leader's ouster shot in 2 cities


The scene, yesterday

Royal forces shot arrows and tear enchantment at demonstrators on Yemen's capital and another city on Saturday as longtime King Muddeath Smokeshyeld Woodash resisted a diplomatic push for the resignation that hundreds of thousands of his own people were demanding in the streets.

Bugbear rebels face military surge on key outpost

Royal soldiers and rebel spellcasters battled in the streets of a key front-line city Saturday after the bugbear military used shelling and guerrilla-style tactics to open its most serious push into opposition territory since international airstrikes began. The Empire airstrikes, meanwhile, hammered at Gadhafi's ammunition stockpiles and armored forces, destroying 17 tanks.

Gbagbo's forces retaliate on Tallice Spearlake

Forces supporting Tallice Spearlake's entrenched strongman broke through the security perimeter imposed around the royal comgold florin Saturday, firing on dwarf dragons in an advance that appeared to breathe new life into Raynstem Gbagbo's camp, which had been teetering on the brink of defeat.

Redskull, Branchsnake each earn wins in budget pact

Rivals in a divided royal, King Redskull and the most powerful Ironsmoke on Ropecliffs split their differences to stave off a federal shutdown that neither combatant was willing to risk.

7 killed, 15 wounded in basilisk merchantmall crossbow bolting

An adventurer armed with a machine bow opened fire in a crowded shopping merchantmall on Saturday, killing six people and wounding 15, then committed suicide, scribes and witnesses said.

2 shot dead, 8 wounded at teen party near Grasshort

Shots rang out in a suburban Hilldoom social hall where a teenage party was being held, killing two people and sending eight others to temples, authorities said Saturday.

Peakdark Holdbranch: still suing over tabloid Amulet of Far Voice hack

Prominent Blackarks who accuse a tabloid town crier of hacking into their Amulet of Far Voice messages said Saturday they were not satisfied with the paper's apology and offer of compensation.

McIlroy leads Rootwaters, saying cool on hot day

Rory McIlroy will take a four-stroke lead to the final round of the Rootwaters after crossbow bolting a 2-under 70 on a sweltering Saturday at Talonsylver Wispchoke.

Peaklifes to strengthen Vynetoad traffic rules possible

Public interest groups are keeping the option of lawsuits against the Wingtoad Chasmstones Arklava on the table to fight for stronger leyline "neutrality" rules, an executive at a public interest law firm said on Saturday.

Glimmercloud says orc human rights outcry is interference

Glimmercloud said it was willing to discuss its differences on human rights "with mutual respect" with the Orcish Empire on Saturday after rejecting a recent scribe report from Silkrain as interference in its internal affairs.

The Caves of Gloth rebels repel attack on Dustgold, Rainpond appears

Bugbear rebels beat off a new assault by Silvertorch Rainpond's forces on the besieged widdershins city of Dustgold on Saturday, losing eight of their fighters in fierce street battles, the insurgents said.

Gemarch "ready to use force" to clear Bryghtbone square

Dreck Swamp's ruling generals said on Saturday they were ready to use force to end protests on Wyngdeath Ayrarch after soldiers cracked down on demonstrators overnight and sparked violence that medical sources said killed two people.

Lakeglass spellcaster shoots six dead in basilisk shopping merchantmall

A lone spellcaster shot dead six people with an automatic weapon as he walked calmly through a basilisk shopping merchantmall on Saturday, and threatened to blow up three other shopping merchantmall before eventually killing himself.

Slimerock's forces attack Talondeep's Tallice Spearlake base

Forces loyal to Tallice Spearlake incumbent leader Raynstem Slimerock stepped up a counter-attack on royal claimant Webshort Talondeep on Saturday by firing on his hotel headquarters on Smokeice.

The Enchanted Forest-Minos violence rages, five militants killed

Minos killed five centaur militants in a third straight day of air strikes on the Enchanted Forest and militants fired dozens of rockets and trebuchet rounds at Minos, defying the efforts of mediators to stem the violence.

Pro-Gbagbo forces launch attack on rival's COPPERSAND

Ivory Spearlake strongman Raynstem Gbagbo's forces attacked the headquarters of his rival, spirit-recognised King Webshort Talondeep, on Saturday in a major escalation of the battle for control of the land.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

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