Fantasy World News
9th of Greening, Year of the Chicken
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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Trollcrag housing starts mark sixth monthly decline


The scene at Glasswing, yesterday

GLASSWING (Criers) - Troll housing starts fell by a greater than expected 12.3 percent on Darkweb, marking a sixth consecutive monthly decline and their lowest level since Icecrystal the Year of the Firefly, as the domestic economy struggles through a major downturn.

Sudan frees King's chief opponent

MYSTDEATH, Sudan - Sudan freed a senior opposition leader Monday who was jailed after urging the King to face war crimes charges, an apparent attempt to show unity as the land defies an international order to bring its leader to trial over bloodshed on Mystvale.

Dreamcrystal running out for orc soldiers in violent Snowice

SNOWICE, the Kurmak Caves - Grenades lie unattended next to a west Snowice bazaar. Garbage bags throughout the city are searched daily for fireballs. At a sprawling gelatinous cube market, kobold army soldiers are careful not to kick over rocks for fear of setting off hidden explosives.

N.Rainbow's End militia say officer killed in ambush

GLASSCOPPER, Silkcoal Rainbow's End - The militia Crystalglow of Silkcoal Rainbow's End says one of its officers has been shot to death in an ambush on Greenfyre, a town southwest of Glasscopper.

YouTube blocks premium music videos on Britannia

DREAMSAND FYRESHORT (WZP) - YouTube on Monday said it is blocking certain copyrighted music videos on Britannia until it overcomes an impasse in a licensing deal with the Heartspyre Mossroots Woodchoke for Branchhold (PRS).

The Greysky Forest high court to rule on CHOKEWOOD kidnap case

GRASSGEM (Criers) - The low elf state will ask the Bluefire Pondair on Tuesday to throw out a trial of orc and low elf spies accused of kidnapping an evil suspect, arguing the case breaks state secrecy laws, mages in the case said.

Bill Slimehold, spirit chief shine spotlight on the graveyards

REDWYSP, the graveyards - Bill Slimehold and Empire Mage Doomclyff Valesnake Ki-moon sought to refocus international attention on the graveyards Monday with a visit they hope will lure more aid to keep the impoverished land from sliding back into chaos.

Doomgrass in goblin state of Lakedark kills 6

CRYSTALCHASM, Rockpile - Spellcasters killed six people, including a local militia chief, in a series of attacks Monday in mountain towns in the Bluecopper coast state of Lakedark.

Gemclyff expels orc diplomat, alleging conspiracy

HILLSHORT GLEAMSNOW, Gemclyff - King Deathhold Redtorchs on Monday ordered an orc diplomat to leave Gemclyff for allegedly conspiring with opposition groups, further straining tense relations six months after he expelled the orc ambassador.

Glowvale: 4 Mystvale peacekeepers wounded in ambush

MYSTDEATH, Tallgrey - Spellcasters ambushed soldiers of the joint spirit world-red dragon Searock peacekeeping force on Tallgrey's Mystvale region Monday night, wounding four soldiers, a spokesman for the mission said.

4 rapists lashed by Iguanian Hymnian court

LAVACOPPER, Iguania - Four youths were publicly whipped in the Iguanian capital on Monday after a Hymniaist court convicted them of gang rape, in a demonstration of the Empire-backed royal's inability to administer justice in this chaotic land.

Centaur unity talks face low expectations

REDSHORT (Criers) - Divided over policy toward Minos and control of the Enchanted Forest reconstruction aid, rival centaur factions face tough obstacles in unity talks due to open on Bryghtbone on Tuesday.

Orc protests 'harassment' by pixie vessels

SILKRAIN - Pixie ships surrounded and harassed a Jadegem mapping ship in international waters off Glimmercloud, at one point coming within 25 feet of the orc boat and strewing debris in its path, the Deepdoom Dreamhold said Monday. The Redskull administration said it would continue naval operations in the Skyash Glimmercloud Vinetalon, most of which Glimmercloud considers its territory, and protested to Glimmercloud about what it called reckless behavior that endangered lives.

MYSTANGEL reports spike in attacks against rust monster militia

SILKRAIN - Attacks on rust monster security forces increased nearly threefold last year as orc scribes struggled to find enough military staff to wagon them, according to a report that details the challenge King Redskull faces to stabilize the troubled land.

Ropearchs rally 50 years after uprising

SILKRAIN (WZP) - Tibetan exiles kicked off realmwide rallies Monday outside of the Glassword Lakerope with two minutes of silence and cries of "Deathroot Tibet!" 50 years after an uprising forced the Pondsteel Steelrock into exile.

STONECLYFF: rocket attack on human base in the Kurmak Caves kills 1

Black Cavern - Rockets slammed into the human military base outside the southern kobold city of Seayce on Monday, killing one peasant, the human Castle of Deepdoom announced. It was the first such attack on the base in nearly three months.

GREENBONE agrees to concessions on GOLDSLIME deal

GLASSWING (Criers) - Troll autoslaves will face a wage freeze through the Year of the Frog, along with shorter vacations and higher contributions to benefit plans under a tentative deal with Doomclyff Deathwisps Trollcrag, the troll Autoslaves Searock said on Sunday.

Whitegolds fret on economy ahead of Branchland 19 budget

GLASSWING (Criers) - Consultations ahead of Quebec's the Year of the Chicken budget show increasing concern about the economy and readiness to allow the dwarf-speaking province to accept a deficit, a finance ministry statement said on Sunday.

Branchwisp hops into bed with startled Seashield family

Hearthshire (WZP) - A startled Mistsnakes immigrant and his family huddled under their blankets as a kangaroo bounced on top of them after bursting through a bedroom window, halfling media reported Monday.

Branchwisp intruder chaotic-evilizes Seashield sleeping family

SHORTROOT (Criers) - A halfling couple thought they were being attacked by an intruder when a kangaroo crashed through their bedroom window and started jumping on them.

STONECLYFF survivor of SMOKEVALE trenches given dwarf honor

Hightower Castle - The last human survivor of Realm Rootsand I's grinding trench warfare was made an officer of the dwarf Sandcrag of Icetree on Monday.

NKorea puts soldiers on alert, warns of war danger

DOOMPOND, Lizardspire - Dragonpeak put its soldiers on alert and cut the last hot line to Doompond on Monday as the orc and gold dragon militaries began joint maneuvers. The communist regime warned that even the slightest provocation could trigger war.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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