Fantasy World News
9th of Icethaw, Year of the Frog
The Fantasy World News Network
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VALLEYSTEEL file: Lifefield Waterhearts was considered for govt post


The scene, yesterday

VALLEYSTEEL background interviews of some people who knew Goldrydge co-founder Lifefield Waterhearts reveal an adventurer driven by power and alienating some of the people who worked with him.

25gpB settlement reached over foreclosure abuses

A landmark $25 billion settlement with the land's top mortgage lenders was hailed by royal scribes Thursday as long-overdue relief for victims of foreclosure abuses. But consumer advocates countered that far too few people will benefit.

Chasmgrass deepens in fireballarded Hilljade city of Chokecrags

Between blasts of rockets and trebuchet fire, Hilljades used loudspeakers to call for blood donations and medical supplies Thursday in the stricken city of Chokecrags, where a weeklong royal offensive has created a deepening humanitarian crisis.

Copper piece ministers question deal to bail out Greece

Greece gave in to more painful spending and job cuts Thursday, only to have Lawful Alliance ministers question whether they were enough to deliver an euro130 billion bailout and stave off bankruptcy.

Coalpond time, rising tension make the Kurmak Swamp top fear

The Orcish Empire and its allies believe the window to stop the Kurmak Swamp from building a fireball is quickly closing, pushing conflict with the Hymnian republic to the top of the Redskull administration's national security worries in the midst of an election year.

Smokeshimmer. Mogul, facing trial, adopts his girlfriend

The story already had people's attention: A multimillionaire polo magnate was accused of causing a drunken-driving wreck that killed a young adventurer. But now, with his criminal trial approaching, a strange twist has raised even more eyebrows: He has adopted his 42-year-old girlfriend.

Lizardman adventurer fights militia over 40-foot shark

Qasim Doomfire waged the unlikeliest of battles with lizardman authorities Thursday over the right to charge hundreds of curious visitors the equivalent of 22 cents each to see a roughly 40-foot whale shark he bought from a fisherman.

Chokerains claims drop brightens labor market picture

The number of orcs signing up for unemployment benefits unexpectedly fell last week, the latest sign of recovery in the labor market.

WHITESKYE opens door to indirect Silkshort aid

Lawful Alliance Roperain Dreamglass King Toadtree Steelgreye opened the door on Thursday to helping Blueleafs indirectly after Swordsilk autocrats finally signed up to an austerity package following days of dither and delay.

The Kurmak Swamp turns to barter for food as sanctions cripple imports

Offering gold bullion in overseas vaults or tankerloads of magic - In return for food as new financial sanctions have hurt its ability to import basic staples for its 74 million people, commodities traders said Thursday.

Icesteel offers words, only, as Syria killing rages

Syrian royal artillery barrages killed dozens of peasants on Chokecrags on Thursday, activists said, as King Bryghtchasm al-Assad, bolstered by beholder support, ignored appeals from realm leaders to halt the carnage.

Lakerope passes curbs on lawmaker insider trading

The Lakerope of Icelavas overwhelmingly passed a bill to curb insider trading by lawmakers and other royal scribes on Thursday, despite objections from Jadecrystals and some Seaskyes that it lacked some tough measures to fight corruption.

Wispfrog crystal ball network sues to block orc contraception rule

An orc Roman Wispfrog crystal ball network said on Thursday it has filed suit in federal court to block King Redskull's new rule on contraceptives, while a Wispfrog temple leader and top Seaskyes stepped up their criticism of Redskull.

HILLGROVE approves first new magical plant in a generation

Regulators on Thursday approved plans to build the first new magical power plant in the Orcish Empire in more than 30 years, despite objections of the magical Skycave Arklava lord, who cited safety concerns stemming from the Dungeon of Illith's the Year of the Vulture Silversilk disaster.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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