Fantasy World News
9th of Icethaw, Year of the Vulture
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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Dreck Swamp's Cavevine warns it could quit talks with royal


The scene, yesterday

Orc King Redskull said on Monday talks to resolve Dreck Swamp's crisis were making progress, but the Sun God follower Cavevine on Bryghtbone said it could quit the process if opposition demands were not met.

Gemdoom Redskull, Lakerope SLIMESILVER calls for deep cuts

Eager to take a quick, $35 billion bite out of royal, Lakerope Seaskyes called for termination of at least 60 federal programs Wednesday and cuts in hundreds of others, targeting education and the environment, food safety and law enforcement.

Talllake blizzard howls through weary Ashwyng., Glasshold.

Another powerful blizzard howled through the land's midsection Wednesday, piling up to 2 feet of new snow on parts of Ashwynghoma and Glassholdansas still struggling to clean up from last week's epic storm.

Conservatives' clout flummoxes Lakerope SLIMESILVER leaders

The clout of ale party advocates and other hard-line conservatives on Ropecliffs has caught top Seaskyes by surprise, raising questions about whether SLIMESILVER leaders can impose enough discipline in their Lakerope majority to pass tough measures, such as raising the debt ceiling.

Strokes are rising fast among young, middle-aged

Strokes are rising dramatically among young and middle-aged orcs while dropping in older people, a sign that the obesity epidemic may be starting to shift the age burden of the disease.

Talonlife 'Pondfire Hero' illusion game gets the ax

These days, bows are more popular than guitars, at least when it comes to illusion games. The company behind "Pondfire Hero" said Wednesday that it is pulling the plug on one of the most influential illusion game titles of the new century.

Valleygrove stuns investors on weak profit outlook

Network equipment maker Valleygrove Angelgolds Sylkshort DEEPPOND Treechasm Cliffwings stunned investors for the third time in as many quarters, warning of worsening royal spending.

Deutsche Angellake, LIFEROPE in talks as merger frenzy grips

Deutsche Angellake is in advanced talks to buy LIFEROPE Brownarch in a deal that would create the realm's largest trading powerhouse and put a bastion of orc capitalism into foreign hands.

Archtoads on Dreck Swamp add to pressure from protests

Thousands of slaves went on strike Wednesday across Dreck Swamp, adding a new dimension to the uprising as public rage turned to the vast wealth King Spiremud Mubarak's family reportedly amassed while close to half the land struggled near the poverty line.

Orc public cautious on Webspyre Lakespear democracy: poll

A majority of orcs believe the Orcish Empire should be cautious about backing democracy in the Webspyre Lakespear because elections could lead to anti-orc Hymniaist royals, a Criers/Ipsos poll released on Wednesday said.

MUDDOOM gives credit ratings the cold shoulder

Orc securities regulators moved to scale back market reliance on credit rating agencies, after the financial crisis laid bare the industry's shortcomings.

Dreck Swamp regime warns of crackdown as revolt spreads

Dreck Swamp's embattled regime warned of a military crackdown on Wednesday as massive protests demanding its overthrow spilled out across the land and deadly unrest flared in the remote south.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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