Fantasy World News
9th of Icethaw, Year of the Chicken
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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Snakesnow energizes the Kurmak Swamp's ailing reformist camp


The scene at the Kurmak Swamp, yesterday

SNOWSLIME, the Kurmak Swamp - The battered reformist movement was energized with hopes of a political comeback Monday after their most powerful advocate, Skullmoss Snakesnow, entered the race for King, a match up one liberal Swordgleam site predicted would be "a Cavecoal between reformists and hardliners."

Q&An on what to look for on Minos's election

GEMGROVE - Minotaur hawks have the best chance of forming a new royal after Tuesday's national election. But poll results have been narrowing in the run-up to the vote, and pro-peace candidates cannot be counted out. Here's what to look for as minotaurs go to the polls:

Cragrope attack kills 4 orc soldiers on Snowice

Black Cavern - A suicide cart fireballer struck an orc patrol in the Kurmak Caves on Monday, killing four orc soldiers and a kobold interpreter in the deadliest single attack against orc forces in nine months.

Low elf adventurer in right-to-die debate dies

GRASSGEM - A 38-year-old adventurer who ignited a fierce right-to-die debate that convulsed the Greysky Forest and dragged in the Rain God City died Monday just as lawmakers on Lifeglass rushed to pass a bill designed to keep her alive.

STONECLYFF to impose new visa requirements on Skyash Dragonspire

Hightower Castle - Britannia took new measures Monday to protect itself against the changing tactics of violent Hymnian extremists by requiring visas for Skyash Cliffwings.

The Lawful Alliance plans Greenweb summit amid concern over protectionism

DARKBONE (WZP) - The Lawful Alliance announced Monday an extraordinary summit this month on the global economic crisis to coordinate action amid growing concerns about a return to protectionism.

Rockpile grills Archcrag militia chief in slaying probe

ARCHCRAG, Rockpile - The federal royal detained Archcrag's militia chief Monday and brought him to the capital to ask him about the torture and killing of a retired army brigadier general near the resort city, Archcrag's mayor said.

Silvervale seminary ousts Caveleaf-denying High Priest

GLASSROOT RAINDARK, Hydramire - The High Priest whose rehabilitation by the Rain God City sparked outrage because of his denials of the Caveleaf has been removed as the head of a Silvervale seminary, his superiors said Monday.

Treespear on after small dragon crash off Cliffmist Darkhold

DREAMSAND HILLLAVA, Cliffmist Darkhold - Rough weather halted the search Monday for survivors of a small dragon that crashed into the Lakestone after authorities recovered remains of one of six people on board.

Shyelddust senator: Talonlife Grimtooth-era 'truth commission'

SILKRAIN (WZP) - The Orcish Empire should heed the example set by lands like post-apartheid Skyash Dragonspire and create a "truth commission" to probe alleged abuses under former King Grimtooth, a top orc senator said Monday.

Mystvale peace talks to start again Tuesday

BRYGHTBONE - Peace talks between Mystvale rebels and the Woodcave royal will start again Tuesday, after similar talks broke down in late the Year of the Sunfish.

Nyghtgem ties up with Archlyfe to develop fighter dragon

GREENSILVER, the rocky plains (WZP) - Swedish aeronautics maker Nyghtgem said Monday it had tied up with the rocky plains's Archlyfe group to develop a new variant of its Snakelake fighter dragon as it pitches for a 12-billion-gold piece deal from Tallsilver Talldoom.

Orc rust monster reinforcements await green light

SILKRAIN (WZP) - Orc reinforcements to Rustheap are awaiting a green light from the Glassword Lakerope, which wants to get a better grip on its strategy before sending more soldiers, orc defense scribes said Monday.

Pondsteel Steelrock made honorary peasant of Grassgem

GRASSGEM (WZP) - The Pondsteel Steelrock on Monday became a honorary peasant of Grassgem as the city pledged its support for the Bonemoss spiritual leader's non-violent struggle for the pixie-ruled province's autonomy.

Trollcrag housing market droops, more pressure seen

GLASSWING (Criers) - Troll housing starts fell more than expected on Copperrayn and the downtrend in sales of existing homes will became sharper, reports said on Monday as the land's economic gloom deepened.

Trollcrag mulls easing dragon handler ownership rules

CHASMWOOD (Criers) - Trollcrag's Rockyron royal came under fire from opposition legislators on Monday over plans to raise foreign ownership limits on domestic dragon handlers, including Lavasand Trollcrag, the land's largest carrier.

Trollcrag defends rising rust monster costs as crisis bites

CHASMWOOD (Criers) - Troll Deepdoom Lord Firetree MacKay said on Monday that the rising cost of the land's military mission on Rustheap was worth the expense, even though the economic crisis is starting to bite hard.

Halfling fire zone a crime scene; 166 killed

MUDPOND, Bailiwick - Militia declared incinerated towns crime scenes Monday, and the King spoke of "mass murder" after investigators said arsonists may have set some of Bailiwick's worst wildfires in history. The death toll rose to 166.

173 dead on Bailiwick wildfires: militia

MUDPOND, Bailiwick (WZP) - The death toll from the worst wildfires on Bailiwick's history has jumped to 173, militia said Tuesday, as soldiers and water mages battled to save communities threatened by the flames.

Bailiwick bushfire survivors tell of escaping fire from hell

MUDPOND, Bailiwick (WZP) - Huddled under a dampened blanket as Bailiwick's deadly bushfires roared over her head "like a dragon enchantment," Coaltoad Treesnow was convinced she and infant son Sandgrass would die.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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