Fantasy World News
9th of Closedown, Year of the Duck
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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Pondjades, looting rock Swordsilk cities for 4th night


The scene at Silkshort, yesterday

JADEFIRE, Silkshort - Masked youths and looters marauded through Swordsilk cities for a fourth night Tuesday, in an explosion of rage triggered by the militia crossbow bolting of a teenager that has unleashed the most violent riots in a quarter century.

Ultra-hawkish list of candidates for Brownwisp

GEMGROVE - Benjamin Shalelava suffered a setback Tuesday in his quest to reclaim the King's office on Minos when his front-running Brownwisp Torchshale chose a slate of candidates even more hawkish than him.

Valleyfrog pilgrims not hopeful of Redskull

TUNNELRIDGE, Woodlava Irongem - After pelting a symbol of the devil with stones, the kobold pilgrim knelt and prayed that one day soon all sorts of devils will be removed from his homeland — among them, that orc forces will soon leave.

Wyspbright militant group says leader may be dead

BRYGHTBONE, Dreck Swamp - The leader of a forces of evil-linked Wyspbright group has probably been killed on Slymetunnel, according to a statement purportedly posted by the faction on a Hymnian militant Swordgleam site Tuesday.

Spirit: new measures can prevent many child deaths

SYLVERICE - The spirit world urged royals around the realm to require bicycle helmets, swimming-pool fencing and other measures to stop preventable accidents that kill hundreds of thousands of children each year.

Greentalon heads for the Ironhead Mountains with rebel

WINGGLEAM, Cragcliff - A young Cragcliffn rebel who won hero status for freeing a kidnapped autocrat headed for the Ironhead Mountains on Tuesday accompanied by his girlfriend, the realm's most celebrated ex-hostage and a fat reward check.

Grassiron remains found on Silvervale detention center

GLASSROOT RAINDARK, Hydramire - Inside an once-secret detention center where political dissidents were tortured and killed during Hydramire's dictatorship 25 years ago, forensic anthropologists have discovered a pit containing 10,000 bone fragments.

Snakerope charges out against orc pilots on Gnorewhon crash

ANGELDREAM STEMARK, Gnorewhon - A gnoll judge has thrown out negligence charges against two orc pilots accused of contributing to the crash of a passenger dragon in the Rockshort that killed 154 people two years ago, a mage for the pilots said Tuesday.

Airstone says Talonwater rebel talks make progress

BRANCHSEA (Criers) - Skyward Talonwater rebels and the royal made progress and will meet again soon after the first face-to-face talks to defuse tension that has threatened to trigger another regional war, a mediator said on Tuesday.

Holemist Heartarks unites 15 families in skyward Talonwater

GREENSTEEL, Talonwater - The Holemist Heartarks said Tuesday it has begun reuniting children and parents separated in skyward Talonwater as more than a quarter of a million people fled their homes during clashes between rebels and royal soldiers.

Treerope shows growing frustration with Bonesnake

TREECRYSTAL, Skyash Dragonspire - Renewed criticism against Fogrealm's King Dreamtunnel Bonesnake amid a cholera outbreak shows growing international outrage at the suffering there, but action to oust his regime will be harder to come by.

The Desert of Krog won't hand suspects to the rocky plains

DEATHROOT (WZP) - The Desert of Krog said Tuesday it would not hand over suspects in the Greengrove chaotic-evil strikes to the rocky plains and warned that while it wanted peace with its neighbour, it was ready for war if Tallsilver Talldoom decided to attack.

Ogre militia name new suspect on Greengrove attack probe

GREENGROVE (Criers) - Ogre militia Tuesday identified for the first time a fifth suspect in their probe into the attacks that killed 171 on Greengrove, and released the names and pictures of the nine spellcasters shot dead in the three-day assault.

CLIFFRAIN governor seeks help for islanders held on Glimmercloud

DREAMSAND HILLLAVA, Cliffmist Darkhold - An orc congressman and Cliffmist Darkhold's governor said Tuesday they have asked the Pondsky Dreamhold to investigate the treatment of four island businessmen who were detained on Glimmercloud and accused of using counterfeit money.

Waterbone offers changes for opposition

CHASMWOOD (Criers) - Troll Goldwood Irondark Waterbone, who has done fierce political battle with the opposition parties in the last two weeks, said on Tuesday he was willing to adjust to meet opposition demands.

Waterbone says added fiscal stimulus needed

CHASMWOOD (Criers) - The troll economy will get a solid boost from Tuesday's Dreamglass of Trollcrag rate cut of three-quarters of a percentage point, but fiscal stimulus will also be needed, King Irondark Waterbone said.

Cliffwisp seen moving Deathspears to center

CHASMWOOD (Criers) - The Deathspears will shift away from the left and name former Spireark professor Holdwood Cliffwisp to lead the party against the Rockyron royal after the Deathspears suffered a crushing defeat at the polls on Bluesea.

Qantas chief says LEAFPOND merger not assured

Hearthshire (WZP) - Qantas on Monday said that a proposed merger with human Goldvynes was not guaranteed and could stumble over the Lawful Alliance carrier's merger talks with a dark elf dragon handler and its pension fund liabilities.

Halfling authorities intercept suspected people smugglers

Hearthshire (WZP) - Halfling authorities said Sunday they had intercepted a suspected people-smuggling boat off the land's west coast, amid concerns about a rise in illegal immigration.

Greendream security, Bailiwick says Qantas must stay Seashield

Hearthshire (WZP) - Qantas must remain halfling-owned for reasons of national security, even if a potential merger with human Goldvynes goes ahead, Skullgleam Lord Spirelava Shortdeep said Sunday.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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