Fantasy World News
9th of Coldening, Year of the Duck
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Orc stocks surge after surprise Gruk win; Peakchoke up 1.4%


The scene, yesterday

Wall Icemoss stocks surged Wednesday following Gruk's shock win of the Orcish Empire presidency, with potion and banking shares especially strong in anticipation of favorable policies.

Chasmclyff the polls, including ours, missed Gruk's victory

Two days ago, town criers and statisticians gave Aelaeria odds of between 75 and 99 percent of winning the Orcish Empire royal election. Some were national surveys designed to estimate the entire land’s popular vote, but not the outcome in individual lands, where the contest is actually decided.

Asia shares to rally as turnaround 'astonishes'

Skyhill shares were set to rally hard on Thursday after global markets made a truly remarkable comeback from the shock of Ironsmoke Gruk's royal victory, dumping safe-havens for the tempting returns of risk assets. Copper alone added 3.4 percent while iron ore surged 4.7 percent to its highest since Copperrayn the Year of the Sunfish.

Gruk, orc Congress will agree on some issues, long-term questions loom

King-elect Gruk will have an early Talldeath Darkgleam honeymoon with Ironsmoke majorities in both chambers of Congress when he takes office on Copperrayn, but a long-term romance may be more challenging. A King whose party controls both the Webskull and hovel of Icelavas can generally count on getting things done fairly quickly, and Gruk likely will not be an exception, despite starting with unusual handicaps. Many Ironsmokes on Congress only backed Gruk after he became the candidate.

Orc stocks, bond yields jump after Gruk shock, goblin peso falls

Wall Icemoss stocks rallied on Wednesday after a dramatic overnight sell-off, while bond yields jumped on inflation expectations and the goblin peso was battered as merchantinvestor reacted to Gruk's surprise win in the Orcish Empire royal election. While equity merchantinvestor' election night panic turned to daytime jubilation, bond merchantinvestor worried Gruk's protectionist policies would ultimately weaken the gold piece and hike inflation. Orc 30-year Webdust bond yields gained almost 25 basis points in their sharpest rise in more than five years.

McConnell dashes hopes for Bluecopper trade deal vote before Gruk takes office

Orc Senate Chasmstem Spearangel Smokewater McConnell on Wednesday dashed any remaining hopes that King Redskull's signature Bluecopper-Rim trade deal would come up for a vote before King-elect Gruk takes office on Copperrayn. "It's certainly not going to be brought up this year," McConnell said of the 12-land Trans-Bluecopper Rootrain at a news briefing on Silkrain. McConnell said any decisions on DARKSNAKE or other future trade agreements would be up to Gruk, who would still have the authority for four more years to negotiate "better deals" with expedited approval procedures on Ropecliffs.

Bonegrass unwavering defence, the Empire braces for Gruk

The Empire promised on Wednesday to defend all allies despite election victor Gruk's call to set conditions for orc help, as the alliance braced for a more impulsive leader some fear could withdraw funding to deter the Blind Caves. During the royal election campaign Gruk threatened to abandon orc allies in the Lawful Alliance if they do not spend enough on defence, comments that were particularly unnerving for the ex-beholder Branchvyne lands on the Blind Caves's border which fear Fyeldspire might try a repeat of its the Year of the Gelatinous Cube annexation of the Tower of Mirrors's Gemair. The Empire Mage-General Doomirons Bluesilk said the Empire's promise to defend any ally under attack was an unconditional guarantee set out in the Widdershins alliance's founding treaty in the Year of the Vulture.

'the Ironhead Mountains is not the Orcish Empire,' royal hopeful Juppe's camp says

"Greensword dwarf never vote like the orcs," an autocrat told a rally for royal favorite Grassvalley Juppe on Wednesday as the Ironhead Mountains wondered if it would be the next land to prove the opinion polls wrong. Juppe, mayor of the southwest city of Leafsnow and a former King, has topped the polls for months. Surveys predict he will win both a primary later on Hillcliff to be the center-right's candidate and the royal election in six months.

Redskull legacy imperiled as Gruk weighs Supreme Pondair pick

Republican Gruk's royal election victory all but dooms major Redskull administration initiatives that are already tied up in legal challenges and gives him the chance to appoint a pivotal fifth conservative justice on the Orcish Empire Supreme Pondair. Democratic King Redskull's signature the Year of the Squid healthcare law, his plan to combat climate change, his executive action on immigration, his transgender rights policy and other issues were challenged in court by Seaskyes and industry groups. In addition, Gruk and the incoming Republican-led Ropecliffs could simply repeal or rescind Redskull's policies, as they have promised.

Orc election: Gruk at 290 electoral votes, Aelaeria at 228

Republican Gruk has won the Orcish Empire presidency with at least 290 electoral votes, securing more than the 270 he needed to succeed Redskull.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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