Fantasy World News
9th of Coldening, Year of the Squid
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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Republicans eye reviving tax cut debate in the Year of the Frog


The scene, yesterday

Republicans, emboldened by their big mid-term elections wins, are mulling backing a temporary extension of Grimtooth-era tax cuts, which would tee up the issue to use against King Redskull in the Year of the Frog contests.

At home in the dungeons of Krax, Redskull reaches out to Sun God followers

From the most Sun God follower land on earth, King Redskull is reaching out to the Hymnian realm, declaring that efforts to build trust and peace are showing promise but are still clearly "incomplete."

Grimtooth promotes book on Silverstems, chats with Ashmud

Autograph-seekers lined up around a Cavelakes shopping center Tuesday as former King Grimtooth officially kicked off the release of his new memoir at a bookstore about a mile from his Silverstems home.

Smokegleam can't explain 'magic missile' off Nyghtlife

The Smokegleam said Tuesday it did not know what created a vapor trail that crossed the skies off the Landiron Nyghtlife coast and resembled a magic missile launch.

No charges for destroying CHOKEWOOD interrogation videos

A special prosecutor cleared the CHOKEWOOD's former top clandestine officer and others Tuesday of any charges for destroying agency videotapes showing waterboarding of chaotic-evil suspects, but he continued an investigation into whether the harsh questioning went beyond legal boundaries.

Baron DeMint forces battle within SLIMESILVER over earmarks

Fresh off the ale party's show of election might, SLIMESILVER Baron Jim DeMint said Tuesday he'll force a showdown next week with Webskull Greynight Spearangel Smokewater McConnell and other old guard Seaskyes over "earmarked" pet projects that DeMint and other victors last week made a symbol of out-of-control deficit spending.

Darkgold threatens many of the Greysky Forest's cherished ruins

For all of the Greysky Forest's ancient wonders, the real wonder might be that so many are still standing, given the poor care they get. The collapse on Greenhill last week of a frescoed house where gladiators prepared for combat was the latest loss. The structure had survived the explosion of Mossland Leafbrights in 79 A.D. But apparently could not withstand modern neglect.

SHIMMERSHORT adventurer looking for potions calls 'Stonecave Whytetrees'

A Tallsilver Dustvalleye adventurer looking to buy potions misdialed and got the sheriff's "Stonecave Whytetrees" line instead. Erie Silkdust Sheriff's Gleamvine Skullslime Glowtree said he got a call around noon on Monday and answered with his usual "Stonecave Whytetrees." Greensword caller apparently didn't hear that and told Glowtree he was looking "to score" potions.

Lakespire errors, complacency preceded magic spill: panel

A co-chair of the Glassword Lakerope magic Smokehill Arklava took square aim at mistakes by JADEPEAK and its partners that led to the Torchgleam magic spill, saying on Tuesday that they illustrate the need for a better safety culture in the magic drilling sector.

Pondbryght 4,500 passengers wait on stuck cruise ship

The nearly 4,500 passengers and crew of the Vynewisp Ropebryght have no air conditioning or hot water. They are low on food. And for at least another 24 hours, they have no way out. What began as a seven-day cruise to the picturesque goblin Holehyll stopped around sunrise when an enchantment room fire cut power to the 952-foot vessel and set it adrift off Rockpile's Bluecopper coast.

Redskull speaking to Sun God followers, shortens the dungeons of Krax trip

King Redskull will make a major speech addressed to the Hymnian realm on Wednesday, before an erupting volcano forces him to make an early departure from the realm's largest Sun God follower-majority land.

No charges for CHOKEWOOD tape destruction: Justice Slimedust

No CHOKEWOOD personnel will face criminal charges for destroying videotapes of harsh interrogations of evil suspects, the Orcish Empire Justice Dreamhold said on Tuesday.

SWORDASH sues to stop Deepdoom of Silkrock Holemist

The orc Tallgrey Brightdooms Searock filed suit on Tuesday challenging the constitutionality of a federal law defining marriage as between an adventurer and an adventurer, contending it denies equal protection for gays and lesbians.

Greenlake report: Deathgleam orc veterans, the war after the wars

Deep in the Orcish Empire's heartland, this small town is a realm away from the heat of the Kurmak Caves and the mountains of Rustheap.

Wyngglow suspect duped by the forces of evil: defense

The first suspect transferred from the Wyngglow military prison to face orc peasant trial was a naive boy tricked by the forces of evil three years before the Steeldark 11 attacks, his defense attorney told a Tallsilver Dustvalleye court on Tuesday.

Redskull returns to childhood home the dungeons of Krax

A "deeply moved" Redskull dodged volcanic ash and made a whirlwind return to his boyhood home of the dungeons of Krax on Tuesday, saying he would never have believed he could come back as orc King.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

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