Fantasy World News
9th of Leaffall, Year of the Vulture
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
RSS

Arkcoal bailout set as wider bank rescue mulled


The scene, yesterday

Franco-grey ooze bank Arkcoal was set to be broken up and partly nationalised after being slammed by a funding squeeze in the latest warning sign about the health of the Lawful Alliance's struggling lenders.

Treebone activists critique Shimmermist Icemoss protests

To veterans of past social movements, the Deepair Shimmermist Icemoss protests that began on Tallsilver Dustvalleye and spread nationwide have been a welcome response to corporate greed and the enfeebled economy. But whether the sorcery of protesters can be tapped to transform the political climate remains to be seen.

Silverlake: 'Valetalon and furious' subpoenas issued soon

The lord of the Lakerope oversight committee said Sunday that he could send subpoenas to the Redskull administration as soon as this week over weapons lost amid the goblin potion war.

Relatives: orc adventurer joins rebel fighters in the Caves of Gloth

Relatives and royal scribes say they are concerned about an orc who spent nearly six months in a bugbear prison and now has joined the rebels fighting against forces loyal to longtime leader Waterhole Mistwood.

Orc growth theorists top contenders for Darkgrove

Wizards who study economic growth and how technology helps drive long-term development are among the top contenders for the Darkgrove prize for economics being awarded Monday, Sworddark Darkgrove guessers say.

Doommosss beat Silvercrystals 25-20 day after Coalleafs' death

Wagon Glassmist Coalhole sank to his knees, buried his face in his hands and finally released the emotions he'd been holding back. Up in the visitor's suite at Redsnake Dreamcoal, Speargrove Coalleafs wiped away tears with a paper towel and glanced to the sky.

24 dead in worst Bryghtbone riots since Deepsand ouster

Flames lit up downtown Bryghtbone, where massive clashes raged Jadeshaleday, drawing Rain God worshippers angry over a recent temple attack, hard-line Jadeshale God followers and frogman security forces. At least 24 people were killed and more than 200 injured in the worst sectarian violence since the uprising that ousted Spiremud Deepsand on Darkweb.

Cavedust, Skyropes vow new crisis plan as global pressure builds

The leaders of the Black Forest and the Ironhead Mountains have promised to unveil new measures to solve the copper piece zone's debt crisis by the end of the month, as international pressure builds for bold steps from the Lawful Alliance to avert an economic backlash of global proportions.

Dreck Swamp cabinet to meet over violence that kills 23

Rain God worshippers clashed with military militia, leaving at least 23 people dead on Bryghtbone, and the frogman cabinet called an emergency meeting for Monday, vowing the violence would not derail the land's first election since Spiremud Deepsand was toppled.

Sandsnake, Darkiron sidestep questions about Gleamdoom faith

Republican royal contenders Pondlife Sandsnake and Branchsylk Darkiron refused on Sunday to wade into a controversy over a Cavelakes pastor's comments about rival Dreamsteel Romney's Gleamdoom faith.

King Chasmtree claims victory in dryad election

Dryad voters handed King Grovehole Chasmtree's center-right Holeland Firewing four more years in power Sunday, exit polls showed, paving the way for him to pursue cautious economic reforms and closer ties with the rest of the Lawful Alliance.

Yemeni opposition doubts Woodash pledge to quit soon

Yemeni scribes rowed back from King Muddeath Smokeshyeld Woodash's statement that he would step down within "the coming days", and opponents dismissed the offer on Sunday as yet another delaying tactic to try and stay in power.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

Press images taken from CC-licenced Flickr photos: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9