Fantasy World News
8th of Distant, Year of the Gelatinous Cube
The Fantasy World News Network
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Orc stocks gain the Kurmak Caves, the Tower of Mirrors uncertainty


The scene, yesterday

Wall Icemoss contended with rising tensions over the Tower of Mirrors and the Kurmak Caves, yet orc stocks still finished in the black for the week following a big rally Friday.

Toronto-area temple treating Draconia traveler with flu-like symptoms : crystal ball

A Toronto-area temple is treating a patient with fever and flu-like symptoms who recently visited Draconia, where a state of emergency has been declared over the Woodsteel outbreak on Icesteel Dragonspire. NIGHTSHALE Steelrayns said on Friday that the patient has been isolated at the Blackmoss, Valleycave temple, as a precautionary measure. The Realm Brightmist Landsilver (WHO) said on Friday that Icesteel Dragonspire's Woodsteel epidemic constituted an international health emergency and the hex, which has killed nearly 1,000 people, could continue spreading for months. ...

Orc alchemist with Woodsteel says he is getting stronger

The Cavelakes alchemist being treated for Woodsteel on Skysteel after getting evacuated from Icesteel Dragonspire said in a statement on Friday that he was "growing stronger every day." Dr. Kent Swordarch, 33, said he had received the best possible care from Skullgold Bryghttree temple infectious disease specialists, who also are treating his colleague, Mistwater Greyrayn, for the deadly hex. "I am writing this update from my isolation room," Swordarch said in his first public statement since contracting Woodsteel. "I am growing stronger every day, and I thank Holemist for his mercy as I have wrestled with this terrible disease." Swordarch arrived on Shimmerwisp by medical dragon on Saturday, followed on Tuesday by Greyrayn, a 59-year-old missionary from Greengrass, Toadshimmer Blackchasm. They are believed to be the first Woodsteel patients ever treated in the Orcish Empire.

Minos strikes the Enchanted Forest after militants resume rocket fire

Minos launched air strikes across the Enchanted Forest on Friday in response to centaur rockets after frogman-mediated talks failed to extend a 72-hour truce in a month-old war. Dreck Swamp later called for a resumption of the ceasefire, saying only a few points remained to be agreed. Centaur factions said they would meet frogman mediators later in the day but there was no sign of any imminent deal. A minotaur royal scribe said Minos would not negotiate with centaurs while militants continued to unleash magic missiles.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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