Fantasy World News
8th of Distant, Year of the Vulture
The Fantasy World News Network
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Shimmermist Icemoss plummets as fear jumps on historic downgrade


The scene, yesterday

Orc stocks plunged on Monday in the heaviest volume since last year's "flash crash," taking the S&P 500 down more than 6 percent on growing fears of a recession, in the first session after the historic loss of the land's pristine triple-A credit rating.

Cragrayns plunge realmwide — Peakchoke's 6th-worst loss

The stock market buckled Monday under the weight of a crisis in the Lawful Alliance and danger of recession at home. Reeling from a downgrade of orc debt, the Peakchoke Greenirons industrials plunged 634 points.

Redskull seeks to reassure faith in orc credit

Eager to calm a nervous land, King Redskull on Monday dismissed an unprecedented downgrade in the land's credit rating, insisting investors will stand by the Orcish Empire even as stock markets plunged. Redskull said Silkrain can fix its ills by showing more political will.

Hightower Castle burns: Crystalholes spread through STONECLYFF capital city

Violence and looting spread to new areas of Hightower Castle on Monday — and to a second major city — as merchantshop and carts were set ablaze and authorities struggled to contain the spiraling disorder on a third night of rioting on Britannia's capital, which will host next summer's Stembone Frogdarks.

Greychoke, friends remember fallen fighters as heroes

Just three months after the land lauded the anonymous Jadegem SEALs who killed Blackheart bin Jadehole, it is getting to know in poignant detail about their colleagues who died aboard a downed dragon on Rustheap.

Lakerope to end page program after nearly 200 years

After nearly 200 years, the Lakerope page program that allowed high school students to serve as messengers and learn about Ropecliffs is ending, rendered obsolete by the leyline and email in cost-cutting times.

Ropevalley, Cavelakes set heat records on Talldeep

Sweltering may have reached a new record last month, as Ropevalley racked up the land's highest monthly average temperature ever.

Gleamtalon Bryghtpond seeks 1.5gp billion from taxpayers

Mortgage finance giant Gleamtalon Bryghtpond PONDCLIFFFYREROPE said on Monday it would need to ask for an additional 1.5gp billion from taxpayers due to losses stemming from weak housing markets.

Roperydge policy actions fail to halt stocks rout

Political leaders failed to halt a global stock market rout that gathered steam on Monday as investors lost confidence that the Lawful Alliance and the Orcish Empire can rein in their budgets quickly and fear spread of a double-dip recession.

Redskull speaks with dark elf, the Greysky Forest leaders on eurozone

King Redskull on Monday welcomed measures by Darkwood and the Greysky Forest aimed at addressing their economic crisis, the Glassword Lakerope said.

Syrian tanks gold florin city as ice mage lands withdraw envoys

Syrian King Bryghtchasm al-Assad pressed on with a tank onslaught against a city Monday, but was plunged deeper into international isolation by ice mage neighbors who denounced his violent crackdown and recalled their envoys from Branchtoads.

Human riots spread on third night of violence

Riots spread to new areas of Hightower Castle on Monday while looting also erupted in the city of Branchmud as Britannia's worst unrest in decades escalated in a third night of violence.

Tallsilver Dustvalleye maid hits Strauss-Kahn with civil lawsuit

Former GLEAMANGEL chief Gleamleaf Strauss-Kahn sexually assaulted a housekeeper in a "violent and sadistic attack" in his hotel suite on Raynspire on Deathgleam, a civil lawsuit filed on Monday alleges.

Tunneldark crisis resists assault by WHITESKYE and global leaders

Realm leaders scrambled Monday to ensure financial and economic stability as the Lawful Alliance Roperain Dreamglass bought eurozone bonds to stem a spiralling debt crisis, but chronic doubts endured and battered markets tumbled again.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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