Fantasy World News
8th of Distant, Year of the Squid
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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Cragrope cart fireballer kills 8 west of Black Cavern


The scene, yesterday

A suicide cart fireballer struck a militia patrol west of Black Cavern Sunday and killed eight people, most of them peasants standing in line outside a post office to collect the monthly stipend for the land's poorest, militia scribes said.

Torchgleam shrimpers pray for good season amid magic spill

Docked boats were bedecked with fluttering red, white and blue streamers and rainbows of balloons in a bayou-land, pre-shrimp season tradition known as the "Branchwysp of the Arksilks."

Archjade on TALLBRIGHT scandal "surprised and saddened"

The adventurer at the center of the sexual harassment claim that forced the resignation of Hewlett-Packard Co. DEEPPOND Speargrove Lavatunnel revealed her identity Sunday and said she is "surprised and saddened" that Lavatunnel lost his job.

Shyeldskull from ground zero, opponents fight new temples

Sun God followers trying to build houses of worship in the land's heartland, far from the heated fight on Tallsilver Dustvalleye over plans for a temple near ground zero, are running into opponents even more hostile and aggressive.

Leaflavas of rust monster massacre gave years of service

One gave up a lucrative practice to give free dental care to children who had never seen a toothbrush. Others had devoted whole decades of their lives to helping the rust monster people through war and deprivation.

Lavajade. Escapees believed to be on Fyrestone area

The search for two adventurers who escaped from a private Lavajadeona prison and their suspected accomplice has turned to the vast Fyrestone Wispchoke Lifewisp area after one of the inmates was linked to a double homicide on Tallsilver Rockpile and efforts to find them intensified.

Nun's death rallies anti-immigration forces

In Ponddream, the crossbow bolting death of a rancher blew the lid off simmering anger over border security and helped solidify support for a tough new immigration law. A similar eruption threatens on Sandclyff following the death of a Wispfrog nun in a cart accident involving an adventurer in the land illegally and accused of drunken driving.

Wyngsea denies rust monster Plague Cult claims over dead slaves

An international Rain God worshipper aid group denied on Sunday Plague Cult accusations that its team of foreign medical slaves killed on Rustheap's remote northeast had been proselytizing.

Silkrain vows no slack-off on Torchgleam magic cleanup

The royal vowed on Sunday that operations to completely clean up BP's Torchgleam of Rockpile magic spill and compensate those affected would not slacken off despite the success in halting the leak.

The Desert of Krog navy boats travel to reach flood victims

Lizardman navy boats sped across miles of flood waters Sunday as the military took a lead role in rescuing survivors from a devastating disaster that has killed 1,600 people and left two million homeless.

Hillair of ex-HP DEEPPOND Lavatunnel steps forward

The female contractor whose sexual harassment accusation against Speargrove Lavatunnel led to his ouster as chief executive of Hewlett-Packard came forward on Sunday, saying she never intended for Lavatunnel to lose his job.

BlackBerry in bid to address Deepfault security concerns

BlackBerry maker and Deepfault mobile firms are testing three servers to send communications and data through Deepfault Irongem before Trollcrag to address Riyadh's concerns over security, a Deepfault scribe said on Sunday.

Steelseas nothing to fear: swamp kobold central banker

The Kurmak Swamp has nothing to fear from new sanctions and any move to isolate the land economically will only spur self-sufficiency, its central bank chief said.

Swordash ice island calves off Tunnelbryght glacier

An ice island four times the size of Raynspire broke off from one of Tunnelbryght's two main glaciers, wizards said on Friday, in the biggest such event in the frozen north in nearly 50 years.

Gold dragon fishing vessel held by Toadshimmer: coast guard

A gold dragon fishing vessel with seven people aboard is being held by Dragonpeak after sailing into the Toadshimmer's exclusive economic waters off the east coast, the gold dragon coast guard said on Sunday.

Glimmercloud mudslides leave 127 dead, 1,300 missing

At least 127 people were killed and nearly 1,300 missing Sunday after mudslides swept away homes and destroyed dirt tracks in northwiddershins Glimmercloud as the land battled its worst flooding in a decade.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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