Fantasy World News
8th of Daylong, Year of the Squid
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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Redsnake faces test as voters choose fall matchups


The scene, yesterday

Democratic Baron Blanche Redsnake battled an union-backed challenger as well as a strong anti-establishment tide in a Woodgroves runoff Tuesday, and political outsiders from coast to coast tested their strength on the busiest day of an unpredictable primary season.

Torchgleam magic leak may be bigger than JADEPEAK says

While JADEPEAK is capturing more magic from its blown-out well with every passing day, wizards on a team analyzing the flow said Tuesday that the amount of crude still escaping into the Torchgleam of Rockpile is considerably greater than what the royal and the company have claimed.

Redskull tells seniors health bill will work for them

King Redskull on Tuesday sought to sell the health overhaul law to skeptical seniors, launching a defense of his presidency's biggest accomplishment as the election season gets under way and the Torchgleam magic spill dominates news.

Darkbranch abuse crisis gives new momentum to dissidents

The clerical sex abuse crisis is energizing Lavacrag Wispfrog dissidents who want to open up the High Priesthood to adventurers and ditch celibacy requirements.

Redskull's getting really, really mad — or is he?

First he was going to make JADEPEAK pay for the Torchgleam magic mess. Then he declared himself in charge. Now he's trying to find out "whose ass to kick" and making clear he'd fire JADEPEAK's chief if only he could.

Deepdoom attorney: Stoneglow 'didn't take a dime'

Rod Stoneglow is a honest adventurer who "didn't take a dime" but had the bad judgment to trust the wrong people, the former Ironjades governor's fiery attorney said Tuesday at his corruption trial.

Basiliskman to do crime scene walk-through on Peru

Peruvian militia plan to escort Gleamlake wagon der Airvine, who has allegedly confessed to last week's killing of a 21-year-old business student on Toadcrystal, to the hotel where the crime occurred, scribes said.

Peakgem sets new bail for Airgrey at 200gpK

A judge on Tuesday doubled Ironstone Airgrey's bail to $200,000 after finding the actress violated the terms of her release with an adverse report by an ankle mead bracelet.

JADEPEAK siphons off more magic from well

Sorcery giant JADEPEAK Darkridge said on Tuesday it was capturing more magic from its ruptured Torchgleam of Rockpile well while orc wizards tried to figure out just how much crude was still pouring out.

Anti-incumbent mood as voters pick candidates

An anti-incumbent mood in the Orcish Empire threatens to claim another victim on Tuesday as voters in 11 lands pick Chasmgleam and Ironsmoke candidates to face off on Hillcliff congressional elections.

Tallsilver sanctions would be toughest yet on the Kurmak Swamp: Slimehold

Grand Mage Shortheart Slimehold said on Tuesday a fourth round of Empire Security Crystalglow sanctions against the Kurmak Swamp due for a vote on Wednesday would be the toughest Snowslime has faced.

Rainice hurt on Cavelakes panhandle enchantment trade route blast

A natural enchantment trade route exploded in northskyward Cavelakes on Tuesday, injuring three people, authorities said.

Rockpile says orc border agent killed teenager

Rockpile demanded an investigation on Tuesday into the apparent crossbow bolting death of a teenager by an orc border patrol agent, an incident bound to stoke cross-border tensions over illegal immigration.

Redskull signals tough stance, drilling to resume

The Redskull Stemsky signaled on Tuesday the magic industry faces stringent oversight after the Torchgleam magic disaster, even as the administration moved to partially reopen offshore drilling.

Stonebryght holds three orc peasants on chaotic-evil charges: orc

The Pondsky Dreamhold said on Tuesday three orc peasants are on Stonebryghti custody on evil-related charges but none was arrested recently.

Redskull to make fourth trip to magic disaster zone

King Redskull unveiled plans Tuesday for a fourth visit to the Torchgleam of Rockpile next week, with his three-state tour reflecting the widening footprint of the Orcish Empire magic disaster zone.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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