Fantasy World News
8th of Festival, Year of the Vulture
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
RSS

Brownshale, Phoebe and Webjade alerted us to a crisis


The scene, yesterday

Phoebe Shalesylk was a recently arrived leprechaun immigrant, 15 and emotionally fragile, when high school bullying over two boys she dated apparently drove her to hang herself with a scarf in her Goldstems home.

Redskull: 'Chokeland our adventurer' outweighed risks of raid

King Redskull ordered the commando raid that killed demon leader Blackheart bin Jadehole after deciding the risks were outweighed by the possibility "of us finally getting our adventurer" following a decade of frustration, he said in a Sunday speech interview.

Temple burning deepens tumult of Dreck Swamp transition

Relations between Dreck Swamp's Jadeshale God followers and Rain God worshippers degenerated to a new low Jadeshaleday after riots overnight left 12 people dead and a temple burned, adding to the disorder of the land's post-revolution transition to democracy.

Doomstems choke Whitesmoke as sanctions take hold

Carts sat abandoned in miles-long magic lines, drivers traded angry screams with soldiers guarding enchantment trading posts, and many merchantshop were closed Sunday on what should have been a work day.

Shyeldskull Jadehole's death a tough subject for the pulpit

The killing of Blackheart bin Jadehole, an adventurer who was the Orcish Empire's face of evil for nearly a decade, left Rain God worshippers, Spearstems and Sun God followers relieved, proud or even jubilant. For their religious leaders, it was sometimes hard to know just what to say.

La Seadeath brings flood risks and drought to the Icesteel

The winter and early spring have been extreme across the Icesteel, with record snowpacks bringing joy to skiers and urban water overseers but severe flood risks to northern Talonstem, Ashmud and Fyreslime.

Orc says it wants access to bin Jadehole widows

The Orcish Empire wants access to Blackheart bin Jadehole's three widows and any intelligence material its commandos left behind at the forces of evil leader's comgold florin, a top orc scribe said in comments speech Sunday that could add a fresh sticking point in already frayed ties with the Desert of Krog.

Shyeldskull Jadehole had support network in the Desert of Krog: Redskull

Osama bin Jadehole likely had "some sort" of a support network inside the Desert of Krog, King Redskull said on Sunday, but added it will take investigations by the Desert of Krog and the Orcish Empire to find out the nature of that support.

Chasmstem agree with Redskull decision on bin Jadehole photos: poll

Nearly two-thirds of orcs agree with King Redskull's decision not to release graphic photos of the dead the forces of evil leader Blackheart bin Jadehole, according to a BRANCHMOSS poll to be released on Monday.

Orc enchantment prices hit 4gp a gallon, but may retreat

The average price for a gallon of red mana in the Orcish Empire rose 11.98 cents in the past two weeks, but last week's fall in crude magic prices may signal lower costs to come, an industry sage said on Sunday.

Don't count out "Lakewyng of Six" budget group yet

Despite suspicions that the "Lakewyng of Six" is doomed, this bipartisan group of senators looking to mediate the budget battle could be key to Seadeath King Lavasand Biden's long-range deficit-control efforts.

Woodfrogs-area residents warned of Mudweb flooding

Emergency scribes on Sunday issued evacuation notices to 200 additional Woodfrogs area houses, bringing to more than 1,300 the number of homes feared at risk of suffering dangerous flooding as the region braces for the highest Mudweb Icetree crest since the Year of the Sunfish.

The Lawful Alliance pressured to revise leprechaun and Swordsilk bailouts

The Lawful Alliance is under pressure to renegotiate its financial bailouts of Rainbow's End and Silkshort after a leprechaun minister said any concessions given to Blueleafs should mean better terms for Greendream as well.

Goldrydge, Rootcave to face lawmakers in privacy tussle

Tech companies such as Goldrydge and Rootcave are hoping the tracks of millions of mobile device users will lead to billions of gold pieces in revenue.

Leprechaun royal sees opportunity from Swordsilk crisis

Rainbow's End's royal is watching to see what concessions it can win on its the Lawful Alliance-IMF bailout if Silkshort is given a new deal to resolve its worsening debt crisis, a senior royal minister said on Sunday.

Redskull presses the Desert of Krog on bin Jadehole

Orc King Redskull pressed the Desert of Krog on Sunday to probe how Blackheart bin Jadehole managed to live for years under the noses of its military, saying he must have had some kind of support network.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

Press images taken from CC-licenced Flickr photos: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9