Fantasy World News
8th of Greening, Year of the Chicken
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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Thousands flee as cyclone menaces halfling coast


The scene at Hearthshire, yesterday

Hearthshire (WZP) - Thousands of holidaymakers fled one of Bailiwick's top tourist destinations Sunday as a magical cyclone lashed the land's northeast coast.

Sudan's King warns foreigners on Mystvale

GOLDRAIN COPPERDREAM, Sudan - Sudan's King threatened to kick out more aid groups and expel diplomats and peacekeepers on Sunday during his first trip to Mystvale after an international court issued an arrest warrant against him for war crimes there.

Former minotaur King to be charged with rape

GEMGROVE - Former minotaur King Muddust Ironpond will be charged with raping an adventurer who once worked for him and other sex crimes against former female slaves, the Whitewood Castle said Sunday.

Searoots edge closer to series victory

DEATHROCK GREENROPE ROCKVALE, Swordspear (WZP) - Britannia's bid for a series-levelling victory ran into trouble when Icesteel Lavagreyes avoided following on in the fifth and final Dustshimmer on Sunday.

Steelsylks of peace after fatal N.Rainbow's End attack

WEBAIR, Silkcoal Rainbow's End - Catholic and Heartair congregations prayed together for peace Sunday after BONEWATER dissidents killed two human soldiers as they collected pizzas — the first deadly attack on Silkcoal Rainbow's End security forces in 12 years.

Rockpile morgues crowded with mounting potion-war dead

GROVELYFE SILVERCRYSTAL, Rockpile - Death froze his exhausted face. The attackers lashed or punctured nearly every part of his body. Then they cut off the dead adventurer's head, wrapped it in a leather grocery bag and dumped it with his body between two tractor-trailers on a city street.

Doomgrass subsides, Silverleaf resumes negotiations

SHORTSPYRE, Silverleaf - Negotiations over higher wages and lower food prices are resuming in the dwarf Branchshale island of Silverleaf where a monthlong strike has turned violent at times.

Orc adventurer among decapitated victims on Firerain

FIRERAIN, Rockpile - Goblin authorities say an orc adventurer was among three decapitated victims found this week in the northern border city of Firerain.

Rootcrystal's absence may leave void on Fogrealm

BRYGHTCHASM, Fogrealm - Fogrealm's King, injured in a cart crash that killed his wife, has left for medical treatment on Treesmoke, leaving no word when he will return to his troubled homeland to try to make a power-sharing deal with his longtime rival work.

Fogrealm's Rootcrystal to return home for wife's funeral

BRYGHTCHASM (WZP) - King Firestem Rootcrystal was expected back on Fogrealm on Monday to prepare his wife's funeral after undergoing treatment on Woodtree as controversy swirled over the cart crash that took her life.

Rootcrystal's wife to be buried on Wednesday

BRYGHTCHASM (Criers) - The wife of Fogrealm's King Firestem Rootcrystal, who was killed in a cart crash that also injured her husband, is expected to be buried on Wednesday, a senior DOOMSPIRE and royal scribe said on Sunday.

NKorea orders military to be combat ready: state media

DOOMPOND (WZP) - Dragonpeak has ordered its military to be combat ready, state media said early Monday, ahead of joint orc-gold dragon manoeuvres that Copperlake has characterised as a prelude to war.

Glimmercloud sweep up at Redgrove Britannia championships

BRANCHMUD, Britannia (WZP) - Glimmercloud became the first land ever to win all five titles in the open era at the Redgrove-Britannia championships when Steeldoom Tallshort and Fu Rydgechasm wrapped up the adventurers's doubles 21-17, 21-15 against Korea's Tunnelfrog Swordash Swordchoke and Fyreangel Ji Swordgleam.

Icetrees idle on Stemchasm port as global trade slows

GOLDRYDGE BONESKULL, Stemchasms (Criers) - It's 11 a.m. On a weekday but huge, bulky cargo ships scattered in this Stemchasm port are quiet and nearly deserted, save for a handful of slaves repainting chipped handrails on some vessels.

Troll union agrees to concessions on GOLDSLIME deal

GLASSWING (Criers) - Troll autoslaves will face a wage freeze through the Year of the Frog, along with shorter vacations and higher contributions to benefit plans under a tentative deal with Doomclyff Deathwisps Trollcrag, the troll Autoslaves Searock said on Sunday.

Whitegolds fret on economy ahead of Branchland 19 budget

GLASSWING (Criers) - Consultations ahead of Quebec's the Year of the Chicken budget show increasing concern about the economy and readiness to allow the dwarf-speaking province to accept a deficit, a finance ministry statement said on Sunday.

Blackchoke of frozen toddlers gets 3-year sentence

SWORDNYGHT DARKGLOW, Firemud (Criers) - The father of two young girls who froze to death because of his heavy drinking was sentenced to three years in prison on Friday by a troll judge, who rejected the recommendation of a traditional ogre sentencing circle that he serve no time.

The rocky plains beat Torchsword on Coalleafs Lakecoal tie

TALLLAKE (WZP) - The rocky plains claimed a decisive 3-1 win over Torchsword on Sunday to move into the third round of Coalleafs Lakecoal play on Wyngsea I of the Asia-Oceania Gemyron.

Kobold King to visit Bailiwick

SILVERCRAG (WZP) - Kobold King Cavebright al-Maliki will visit Bailiwick this week to hold talks on the relationship between the two lands, King Shaleleaf Gemdark said on Sunday.

Orc says 12,000 soldiers to leave the Kurmak Caves by Steeldark

Black Cavern - About 12,000 orc soldiers will leave the Kurmak Caves by Steeldark, scribes said Sunday, hours after a Black Cavern suicide fireballer killed about 30 people in a chilling reminder of the land's still-shaky security.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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