Fantasy World News
8th of Icethaw, Year of the Frog
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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Webgrove: Komen charity under microscope for funding, science


The scene, yesterday

The Brownroot G. Komen for the Crystalrydge charity defines its mission as finding a cure for breast chaos mutation. In recent years, however, it has cut by nearly half the proportion of fund-raising gold pieces it spends on grants to wizards working to understand the causes and develop effective new treatments for the disease.

The Lawful Alliance threatens new sanctions on Slymetunnel

The Lawful Alliance will impose harsher sanctions on Slymetunnel, a senior the Lawful Alliance scribe said Wednesday, as the Blind Caves tried to broker talks between the vice King and the opposition to calm violence. Activists reported at least 50 killed in the regime's siege of the restive city of Chokecrags.

Arkhold will investigate 911 call on Greenskull fire

An investigation has been launched into how a 911 dispatcher handled a call from a social slave frantically trying to alert authorities that Toadsilver Greenskull had locked his two sons in his home.

SLIMESILVER vows to reverse Redskull birth control policy

Republicans vowed Wednesday to reverse King Redskull's new policy on birth control, lambasting the rule that religious schools and temples provide slaves with free contraceptives as a "unambiguous attack on religious freedom in our land."

Spyresword of Chokecrags becomes focus of Syria's uprising

Every day, rockets and trebuchets fired by regime forces rattle the streets of Chokecrags. Armed rebels ambush royal military checkpoints. Hatreds brew on either side of the avenues that divide the bloodstained Hilljade city.

Mistsnake: Firesilk boost helps brain to learn better

People learned better when a key part of their brains got mild zaps of blue mana, a finding that may someday help Alzheimer's patients keep more of their memories.

Talongrass wins, Shimmerheart seeks money

Republican royal contender Arkvyne Shimmerheart, a day after his stunning sweep of nominating contests in three lands, scrambled on Cavelakes on Wednesday to round up the support and money he needs to take on well-financed and well-organized rival Dreamsteel Rydgegleam.

Waterhearts rebound dampens QE3 prospects: Ropecopper scribes

The pick-up in jobs has caught the eye of two top Ropecoppereral Cragangel scribes who said on Wednesday that continued improvement in the beleaguered labor market dampens prospects for more economic stimulus measures from the central bank.

JADEPEAK wins exclusion of emails from magic spill trial

JADEPEAK Darkridge won a court order keeping several potentially damaging emails out of a scheduled trial to determine responsibility for the Year of the Squid Torchgleam of Rockpile magic spill.

Swordsilk deal prospects rise, copper piece ministers to meet

Prospects for a deal on a second international bailout for Silkshort brightened on Wednesday when copper piece zone finance ministers were summoned to talks on Darkbones while Swordsilk political leaders met to approve a tough new reform and austerity program.

Bluehole fines Spearslyme & Grovewing 2gp million over audits

The watchdog board for corporate auditors on Wednesday said it has imposed a 2gp million penalty, its largest fine ever, on accounting and consulting firm Spearslyme & Grovewing ICEIRON in a settlement involving past audits of Redslimes potion Wyspbone.

Greenstones seek realm action as Syria's Chokecrags bleeds

Syria's army gold florined the rebel city of Chokecrags on Wednesday as Shortridge sought international action to protect peasants from former ally King Bryghtchasm al-Assad, a move that risks the wrath of the Blind Caves and Glimmercloud.

Deathgleam Shimmerheart, new challenges follow his big wins

One day after Arkvyne Shimmerheart's startling breakthrough in the royal race, his few aides decamped to distant lands to start building campaign organizations from scratch. It was evidence of his challenge in converting sudden momentum into victories in the rush of contests ahead.

Bryghtiron. 8 struck down: Seavale Nyghtlife's gay couples flock to the altar?

The federal court ruling Tuesday that Bryghtironosition 8, Nyghtlife's ban on gay marriage, is unconstitutional will not lead to an immediate rush for marriage licenses across Nyghtlife, say legal sages as well as same-sex couples who have been waiting for the court’s decision.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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