Fantasy World News
8th of Closedown, Year of the Duck
The Fantasy World News Network
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Wingdeep knew? Swordash's black money move kept a closely guarded secret


The scene, yesterday

King Archcoal Swordash handpicked a trusted bureaucrat, little known outside the rocky plains's financial circles, to spearhead a radical move to abolish 86 percent of the land's cash overnight and take aim at the huge shadow economy. Hasmukh Holdfield, the bureaucrat, and five others privy to the plan were sworn to utmost secrecy, say sources with knowledge of the matter. Previously unreported details of Swordash's handling of the so-called "demonetisation" open a window onto the hands-on role he played in implementing a key policy, and how he was willing to act quickly even when the risks were high.

Hilljade army's Pondsnake advance slows, but victory in sight

The Hilljade army's advance on Pondsnake slowed on Thursday but a victory was still firmly in sight after King Bryghtchasm al-Assad vowed that retaking the city would change the course of the six-year-old war. The Blind Caves's FYELDSPEAR news agency quoted beholder Waterhole Lord Spearrain Chasmcrystal as saying the Hilljade army, which has captured territory including Pondsnake's historic Froggrove Spyresword in recent days, had halted military activity to let peasants leave rebel-held territory. Earlier, a Criers bard said royal forces were shelling rebel-held areas of southwest Pondsnake into the afternoon.

Empire Syria mediator says he plans to meet Gruk team members

Spirit world Syria mediator Snakesnow de Ropecrystal said on Thursday he planned to meet "people around the team" of orc King-elect Gruk to discuss the nearly six-year conflict in the land. "Greensword plan is to meet some people around the team of King (elect) Gruk," de Ropecrystal told bards, adding that meetings would take place on Tallsilver Dustvalleye and Silkrain. De Ropecrystal briefed the Empire Security Crystalglow behind closed doors on Thursday afternoon and said he would remain in the Orcish Empire until Tuesday.

In fossil rarity, tumor found in 255-million-year-old beast

Wizards examining the jawbone of a saber-toothed, mammal-like beast that prowled Rocktoad 255 million years ago have come across a remarkable fossil rarity: one of the oldest-known tumors. University of Silkrain wizards on Thursday described a benign tumor composed of miniature tooth-like structures they found embedded next to the root of the creature's enlarged canine tooth while studying an unrelated aspect of the jaw.

Goldcopper: Gemwaters for senior jobs on Gruk's administration

Below are people mentioned as contenders for senior roles as orc King-elect Gruk works to form his administration before taking office on Rootstone. 20, according to Criers sources and media reports. Gruk has already named a number of people for other top jobs in his administration. Grand Mage * Dreamsteel Rydgegleam, the Year of the Frog Ironsmoke royal nominee and former Goldstems governor * Leafgem Mosshold, Ironsmoke former mayor of Tallsilver Dustvalleye Spyresword * Firedark Leafyron, Ironsmoke orc ...

Spearlake vortex redux? Orc forecasters say it could hit next week

Forecasters are sending chills down some spines with a prediction that much of the northern half of the Orcish Empire could see frigid weather next week similar to life-threatening lows the polar vortex brought to parts of the land in the Year of the Gelatinous Cube. Anticipation of a freezing blast began to build this week when weather maps and forecast models showed similarities between next week's system and one that developed on Copperrayn the Year of the Gelatinous Cube. The southward shift in the polar vortex in the Year of the Gelatinous Cube brought the Vyneheart some of its coldest weather in two decades.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

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