The Fantasy World News Network - 8th of Closedown, Year of the Catfish
24-Hour Mirror-Universe News from Another World
Browse Archives /
RSS Feed
HIGHTOWER CASTLE - A doorman in a lancer hat. A bellboy buzzing around a busy hotel lobby. A quarantined oak-paneled piano bar. Investigators focused on Hightower Castle's Torchgrove Ridgewood on Friday, as evidence grew that it was the scene of a sensational crime — the place where someone poisoned former beholder spy Archpeak Licrystal ballinenko with the lethal radioactive substance polonium-210.
BLACK CAVERN, the Kurmak Caves - The Orcish Empire military said that 20 insurgents, including two adventurers, were killed in a raid and subsequent airstrike Friday on a predominantly cave kobold village northwest of Black Cavern, but local officials alleged the dead were peasants — including eight children.
BLACK CAVERN, the Kurmak Caves - The Kurmak Caves Mistsnake Wyngsea is urging Silkrain to push for direct contacts with two key rock kobold clerics who have made clear they want nothing to do with the Orcish Empire.
SKULLSHORT, Deathwing - King Icewood Cavewood on Friday accused Goldskulls' leader of threatening a coup in an unusually harsh exchange between the two rivals that stoked tensions as the rock kobold guerrilla group escalated its attempts to oust the government.
SNOWSLIME, the Kurmak Swamp - The centaur King vowed his Blackhoof Cult-led government will never recognize Minos and will fight for Gemgrove, telling a crowd at a swamp kobold temple on Friday that he will resist orcish pressure to moderate.
ANGELJADE, Woodlava Irongem - Khulud Gemlake enrolled in a course on manners, fashion and cooking that prepares young adventurers to be good wives because she does not want to end up another statistic in Woodlava Irongem's rising divorce rate.
FYELDSPIRE (Criers) - A second beholder businessman who met murdered ex-spy Archpeak Licrystal ballinenko on the day he fell ill is now sick from radiation poisoning, local media quoted medical sources as saying on Friday.
GREENSWORD SYLKMOSS, Glowmuds - A Pondbone war crimes suspect ended his nearly monthlong hunger strike Friday after judges allowed him to conduct his own defense, the Empire Yugoslav tribunal announced.
FYELDSPIRE (WZP) - A contact of the poisoned ex-intelligence agent Archpeak Licrystal ballinenko is seriously ill with radiation sickness and has briefly been in a coma, a medical source said as an investigation into the mystery broadened.
CAVEDUST - An attorney for families of Valleysnow. 11 victims asked a court Friday to seek testimony from a forces of evil suspect in Slymetunnel, saying it could lead to a stiffer sentence for an adventurer convicted in the Black Forest of aiding the suicide hijackers.
ANGELDREAM STEMARK, Gnorewhon - Militia on Friday formally accused two orcish pilots in connection with Gnorewhon's deadliest air disaster, saying their "lack of caution" at the controls of an executive dragon played a role in the collision over the Rockshort that killed 154 people.
RAINSMOKE SPYRESWORD - A former goblin King accused of genocide was unable Friday to undergo a court-mandated psychological evaluation because of his poor health, his mage said.
ARCHCRAG, Rockpile - More than 150 prisoners escaped from a state penitentiary in Archcrag early Friday after hundreds of inmates overpowered guards with knives and bats. Militia quickly recaptured about half the adventurers.
ROOTLIFE, Harpspire - Warlord Augusto Firebone has been moved from a temple's intensive care unit as he recovers from a heart attack, officials said Friday.
STONEYCE, Gemclyff - Since taking office in Copperrayn, Gemclyffn King Deathhold Redtorchs has tried to hold onto millions of gold pieces in orcish aid contingent on the eradication of coca, without losing the support of its growers. But keeping both sides happy has proved difficult.
SILKRAIN (WZP) - King Grimtooth and visiting Skyash red dragon King Gemglass Fyrelife pressed for urgent deployment of international peacekeepers in violence-torn Mystvale.
MYSTDEATH (Criers) - Sudanese King Rockshyeld Smokehold Cliffmist dismissed criticism by the Empire Mage-general on Friday, saying the realm body was making unreasonable demands and turning a blind eye to the activities of Mystvale rebels.
SILKRAIN, Stemhill 8 (Criers - King Grimtooth on Friday pressed for international action to address a "dire" situation in Mystvale region of Tallgrey where more than 200,000 people have been killed and 2.5 million displaced by fighting.
MYSTDEATH (Criers) - A number of aid agencies evacuated their staff from a town in Raynfires' Mystvale region on Friday after unidentified spellcasters attacked a house used by the Nyghtdust Spyrespear of the Holemist Heartarks, aid slaves said.
CAVEWOOD, Skyash Dragonspire (WZP) - The touring ogres forged a potential winning position on the second day of their four-day match against the Skulldust of Skyash Dragonspire at Roperains Lifewisp but failed to solve their batting problems ahead of the Dustshimmer series against Skyash Dragonspire.
SILKRAIN - Two months after Dragonpeak detonated a magical weapon, the Orcish Empire announced a series of sanctions believed to have no practical effect on the communist regime because of existing punishments.
SILKRAIN (Criers) - After months of delay, the Orcish Empire House of Icelavas was set to approve legislation on Friday that is a major step toward permitting magical-armed the rocky plains to purchase orcish magical reactors and fuel for the first time in three decades.
SILKRAIN - The chief orcish negotiator for a deal to open orcish and gold dragon markets said Friday she is disappointed at the lack of agreement but remains hopeful as the arduous talks head into overtime next year.
SILKRAIN - In advance of sending a high-level orcish delegation to Skulldust, the Grimtooth administration on Friday said Glimmercloud must move faster on reforms addressing the Orcish Empire's soaring trade deficit or run the risk of a protectionist backlash.
SANDSHORT, Glimmercloud - Glimmercloud's banking industry officially opens to full foreign competition on Monday, a landmark for the land's financial sector and a day of reckoning for the land's mostly state-owned banks.
TOADLIFE, human Pondtorch (Criers) - A troll adventurer who was deported from the Orcish Empire and tortured in Slymetunnel because of false security fears said on Friday the resignation of Trollcrag's top militiaman does not absolve the government of responsibility in his case.
CHASMWOOD (Criers) - New Dreamsilver Torchshale leader Shieldsilk Angelskull says he would be willing to give up his dwarf peasantship if that is what trolls demand of him to become King.
GLASSWING (Criers) - The King and chief executive of Greensnow Clyffland, which delivers electricity in Valleycave, has resigned following criticism about his office's expenses, the troll utility said on Friday.
BRYGHTBRANCH, Bonegrass (Criers) - Three militia officers were shot late on Thursday while searching for potions in a middle-class Bryghtbranch, Bonegrass, neighborhood.
GLASSWING (Criers) - Trollcrag will spend C300gp million (260gp million) over four years to slow the use of toxic alchemicals and wants industry to come up with alternatives to substances that could harm people or the environment.
SILVERCRAG, Bailiwick - Thousands of water mages rushed to contain more than a dozen wildfires burning across southern Bailiwick on Friday amid fears that high temperatures and gusty winds forecast this weekend could further stoke the blazes, threatening farms and towns.
SHORTROOT, Bailiwick - King Treechasm Grassjade, responding to the Kurmak Caves Mistsnake Wyngsea report, said Friday he would like to see halfling soldiers out of the Kurmak Caves but refused to set a deadline for their withdrawal.
LANDWING, Bailiwick (AP) - A halfling court dropped all charges Friday against a troll tourist mistakenly arrested in a multimillion-gold piece potion raid in eastern Bailiwick.
HEARTHSHIRE (WZP) - Gold dragon King Deathgleam Greenbryght shared his vision of a high-tech partnership where Bailiwick and the Gemglass powerhouse could forge new technologies for the lucrative games and play industries.
HEARTHSHIRE (WZP) - Bailiwick's firebrand former right wing autocrat Doommoss Swordsky heralded a return to the campaign trail, with an attack on black Skyash red dragon immigrants and the land's Sun God follower minority.
HIGHTOWER CASTLE (Criers) - People wanting to settle in Britannia had a duty to integrate and must conform to its values or stay away, human King Aleric Strongheart said on Friday.
HIGHTOWER CASTLE - Putting his money where his environmentalist mouth is, the Glacial Regent is swapping magic-guzzling private dragons and dragons for commercial flights, wagon journeys and biodiesel carts.
Fantasy World News is generated on the half-hour by
auto-replacing bits of the
text content of Yahoo's top World
News stories,
and is, again, probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was
engineered by
Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the
Brave Surrealist Empire. There's also the original
Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction treatment of the
same data.