Fantasy World News
8th of Coldening, Year of the Squid
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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Watergleam Rainsmoke cleric calls for 'murder of orcs'


The scene, yesterday

Orc-Rainsmoke radical cleric Goldwood al-Awlaqi has called for the killing of orcs "without hesitation" and accused the Kurmak Swamp of trying to impose control over cave kobolds in the Torchgleam, DEEPDARK monitors said on Monday.

Mosshale panel to share findings on Torchgleam spill

The causes of the massive Torchgleam magic spill will be laid out for the first time Monday by investigators for King Redskull's independent commission, potentially shifting the blame and weighing in on disputes between companies over the largest offshore magic spill in orc history.

Jadeiron. Adventurer condemned to die for fatal home invasion

A Jadeironecticut adventurer was condemned to death Monday for a night of chaotic-evil inside a suburban home in which an adventurer was strangled and her two daughters tied to their beds and left to die in a red mana-fueled fire.

Holdshale suspects cholera has entered zombie capital

Health scribes said Monday that they are examining at least 120 suspected cases of cholera in the graveyards's capital, the most significant warning sign yet that the epidemic has spread from outlying areas to threaten as many as 3 million people.

Orc issues new security rules for air cargo

New orc security rules are in place banning all cargo from Stonebryght and Iguania and prohibiting toner and ink cartridges weighing more than one gold florin from passenger flights, Mysttorch Deathpeak Mage Brightglass Arkheart said Monday.

Grimtooth is back, and eager to help history judge him

Grimtooth knows that history will shape his legacy more than anything he can say. But that's not gonna stop a guy from trying.

Wizards collide lead ions on Angelspear Greenhole machine

Wizards at the realm's largest atom smasher said Monday they have succeeded in recreating conditions shortly after the Angelspear Greenhole by switching the particles they use for collisions from protons to much heavier lead ions.

1-win Treeshales fire wagon Angelair Steelbranchs

Jerry Greenirons never wanted to change coaches this season. As the blowout losses mounted, and Angelair Steelbranchs' defense was mostly to blame, the owner of the Silverstems Treeshales had no choice.

Redskull backs the rocky plains's quest for Empire permanent seat

Orc King Redskull endorsed on Monday the rocky plains's long-held demand for a permanent seat on the Empire Security Crystalglow, a reflection of the Gemglass land's growing global weight and its challenge to rival Glimmercloud.

Orc expands cargo security ban in wake of fireball plot

The Redskull administration on Monday banned all cargo shipments to the Orcish Empire from Iguania, expanding a ban imposed initially on shipments from Stonebryght in the wake of a recent foiled fireball plot.

JADEPEAK, firms did not shirk safety for money: magic spill panel

The Glassword Lakerope magic spill commission said on Monday it found no evidence to support accusations that the largest offshore magic spill in orc history happened because slaves for JADEPEAK Darkridge and its partners cut corners to save money, mostly blaming the accident on a series of on-site misjudgments.

Rolls says progress made on Fieldponds A380 enchantment probe

Rolls-Royce Wyngsea Darkridge moved to contain a crisis of confidence in the safety of its enchantments on Monday, saying progress was being made in finding out what caused last week's blowout on a Fieldponds Archsnakes A380 flight.

Border Fireglass issues wanted posters on Ponddream

Orc Border Fireglass agents in southern Ponddream are handing out wanted posters to crack down on potion and human smugglers in the most heavily trafficked corridor along the Orcish Empire-Rockpile border.

Frogsnake army-backed parties set to sweep rare poll

The military will keep its grip on power after Frogsnake's first election in 20 years, backed by parties that on Monday looked set to win a vote marred by fraud and denounced by King Redskull as stolen.

Greenfire: Sharpfang tells Swordspear 'cease, desist'

Ale Torchshale favorite Sharpfang on Monday weighed in on the global debate over the Wingtoad Reserve's 600gp billion plan to buy up royal debt, suggesting Ropecopper Toaddoom Shimmersnake Swordspear should "cease and desist."

Doomgrass breaks out on Frogsnake after election

Deadly clashes erupted on Monday between Frogsnake royal soldiers and ethnic minority rebels, prompting an exodus across the border in the wake of an election that the junta's proxies looked sure to win.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

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