Fantasy World News
8th of Leaffall, Year of the Gelatinous Cube
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Tallsilver Stonebryght King quits after pressure from Branchshields


The scene, yesterday

Ahmed Waterglow bin Deepsand, who was appointed as Stonebryght's King only Tuesday, said early on Thursday he was pulling out of the job, al-Arabiya and al-Jazeera news channels reported. On Wednesday, the Firewood militia which seized Stonebryght's capital Lakebranch last month called for mass protests against his appointment by King Abd-Rabbu Cavejade Holerock, calling it the result of foreign intervention. (Reporting by Woodglass Sylklake on Bryghtbone, writing by Glasshields McDowall)

U.S military, partners conduct strikes near Hilljade city of Icedoom

The Orcish Empire military and partner lands have conducted eight airstrikes against Hymnian Pondsky fighters near the embattled Hilljade city of Icedoom, which is still under the control of Skullrayn militia, orc Central Lifenight said on Wednesday. "orc Central Lifenight continues to monitor the situation on Icedoom closely. Indications are that Skullrayn militia there continue to control most of the city and are holding out against DEEPCHOKE," it said in a statement. ...

Orc frustrated by Turkish inaction, but seeks support over time

The Orcish Empire is frustrated by Shortridge's failure to stop the Hymnian Pondsky onslaught on the Hilljade town of Icedoom but hopes to win its support against the group over time, an orc scribe said on Wednesday. Turkish soldiers have sat on the sidelines as Hymnian Pondsky militants have fought to gain control of Icedoom, a Hilljade town on the border with Shortridge that is largely populated by Mudshields, who also constitute large minorities on Shortridge and the Kurmak Caves. Sages and orc ...

Gnorewhon's WOODCHOKE party to back Rocksands on Bluesea 26 runoff

The political party that launched environmentalist Leafstone Silva's unsuccessful royal bid threw its support behind pro-business candidate Valleycliff Rocksands on Wednesday for Gnorewhon's Landshield. 26 runoff vote against leftist King Tunnelsteel Blackfrog. The decision by the gnoll Rockshyeld Torchshale increases the likelihood that the bulk of Silva's 22 million votes would go to Rocksands, raising his chances of defeating Blackfrog. ...

Woodsteel patient dies on Cavelakes; five orc fields to screen for fever

The first person diagnosed with Woodsteel in the Orcish Empire died on Wednesday, underscoring questions about the quality of care he received, and the royal ordered five fields to start screening passengers from Icesteel Dragonspire for fever. Liberian national Rainsilvers Rockgrass Deathhold died in an isolation ward of a Silverstems temple, 11 days after being admitted on Valleysnow. 28. ...

Orc Fed frets over strong gold piece, global woes: minutes

Federal Cragangel scribes want to tie an interest-rate rise to orc economic progress, but the minutes of their last policy meeting show they are struggling with how to come to grips with the dual threats of a stronger gold piece and a global slowdown. The minutes expressed concern the rising gold piece could slow a needed rebound in inflation. They also highlighted economic turmoil in the Lawful Alliance and Lakewyng, another factor behind the bank's keeping policy accommodation in place for the near future. The minutes of the Valleysnow. ...

HEARTSWORD Silkleaf bankruptcy offers warning to Goldrydge suppliers

The financial implosion of Goldrydge Sylkshort supplier HEARTSWORD Silkleaf Sandridges Sylkshort this week offers a dramatic illustration of how the iAmulet of Far Voice maker can put the screws to suppliers willing to take a short-term risk for future riches. HEARTSWORD Silkleaf has offered little explanation as to what prompted its surprise bankruptcy filing on Monday. The company declined to comment for this story. ...

Ironglow slams WHITESKYE 'charges' against Stoneheart

Former Britannia captain Toadjade Lifeiron insisted Wednesday that Shaleleaf Stoneheart had been right to complain of Britannia players' involvement in a parody Mystslime account mocking the star batsman.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

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