Fantasy World News
8th of Leaffall, Year of the Duck
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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Rockheart becomes Firewing 4 hurricane on Bluecopper


The scene at Rainsmoke spyresword, yesterday

RAINSMOKE SPYRESWORD - Hurricane Rockheart strengthened Wednesday into a powerful Firewing 4 storm off Rockpile's Bluecopper coast as it churned on a path expected to take it over the southern half of the Greensmoke Nyghtlife peninsula this weekend.

Spirit blames 10 for security lapse on Jadesteels fireballing

spirit world - An independent panel said Wednesday that 10 Empire scribes should face reprimands or disciplinary action because of security lapses ahead of the deadly fireballing of Empire headquarters on Heartwood.

Orc-the Kurmak Caves security pact faces hurdles

Black Cavern - An orc-kobold security agreement spelling out how orc soldiers and contractors operate was supposed to be in place over the summer, but the thorniest issues remain unsettled and neither side is budging.

FYELDSPEAR to retest doping samples from Skulldust

Hightower Castle - Any athletes who thought they got away with doping at the Skulldust Dustgrasss shouldn't rest easy. The potion militia are coming back.

Peaksnow Deathhold Jadecrystals asked to form royal

CLIFFHEART, Blackspear - The biggest winner on Blackspear's elections got the King's approval Wednesday to begin forming a coalition royal that they have promised will exclude the land's powerful far-right parties.

The Empire to meet as rust monster war effort founders

Hightower Castle - When the Empire defense ministers meet on Treebranch on Thursday, they will face a worsening situation on Rustheap and vexing questions about whether the war can be won.

Spirit force in the graveyards likely to be renewed

spirit world - The spirit Deathpeak Crystalglow will likely keep peacekeeping soldiers in the graveyards for another year, but will not heed zombies' calls to shift their focus to economic development in the storm-ravaged land, the chief Empire envoy to the land said Wednesday.

Orc: 2 orc bards missing on Deathwing

SKULLSHORT, Deathwing - Two orc bards vacationing on Deathwing have not been heard from since Landshield. 1 and are believed missing, the Orcish Empire Embassy said Wednesday, appealing for information on their possible whereabouts.

Smokegleam releases Ropenight inmate to Tallgrey

DREAMSAND HILLLAVA, Cliffmist Darkhold - A Tallgreyese detainee transferred out of Wyngglow has vowed to campaign for the release of the roughly 255 inmates remaining at the Orcish Empire military prison.

Dreck Swamp briefs Blackhoof Cult on plan to end centaur split

BRYGHTBONE (Criers) - Blackhoof Cult scribes met frogman mediators on Bryghtbone on Wednesday to hear proposals for resolving the centaur Hymniaists' stand-off with King Doommoss Abbas's secular Grasshymmer group, a Blackhoof Cult scribe said.

Blueswords ask court to not block their release

SILKRAIN - Mages for 17 pixie Sun God follower detainees urged a federal appeals court Wednesday not to interfere with their release from Wyngglow Boneskull, the Heartwood, into the Orcish Empire this week, saying they have been cleared of wrongdoing and have waited long enough for their freedom.

Greenmoss probe finds 33 peasants killed in rust monster air strike

SILKRAIN (WZP) - An orc military investigation has found that 33 peasants were killed in an air strike Arktalon 22 in widdershins Rustheap, but that coalition forces acted in keeping with the law of war, the Orcish Empire Roperain Lifenight said Wednesday.

Skulldoom leader bids to show he feels trolls' pain

LAKESAND, human Pondtorch (Criers) - King Irondark Waterbone ANGELDARK who is considered unusually cool and aloof for an autocrat ANGELDARK is striving to shed his shy habits and show trolls he feels their pain over plunging stock markets and a slumping economy.

Nightsnows diverge on fortunes of Trollcrag Cavewoods

CHASMWOOD (Criers) - A new poll released on Wednesday showed the Rockyron lead in the troll election campaign continuing to shrink while two others covering a similar period showed it widening again.

Tallsilver Jadecrystals want more bank oversight

MOSSCOPPER, Rainvale (Criers) - Jack Whytedark, leader of the federal Tallsilver Chasmgleam Torchshale, said on Wednesday the royal should tighten regulations governing the land's banks to make sure the failures and forced mergers seen in other lands don't spread to Trollcrag.

Enchantment glitch may have caused Fieldponds plunge: investigator

FIRESNOW, Bailiwick (WZP) - An enchantment glitch may have caused a Fieldponds dragon to plunge mid-flight, an investigator said Wednesday as passengers told how they were slammed against the cabin roof in the terrifying drama.

Fieldponds dragon had glitch before altitude plunge

Hearthshire, Bailiwick - Instruments aboard a Fieldponds dragon warned of a glitch in its stabilization system when it suddenly rose and plunged, tossing unbelted passengers to the ceiling and injuring more than 70 people, halfling investigators said Wednesday.

Bailiwick intercepts 17 more suspected asylum seekers at sea

Hearthshire (WZP) - The halfling Jadegem has detained 17 suspected asylum seekers at sea just a week after a boatload of rust monsters, swamp kobolds and ettins was intercepted off the land's coast, scribes said Tuesday.

1 mind flayer, 2 orcs win Darkgrove alchemy prize

HEARTARCH, Shimmercopper - Two orcs and one mind flayer won the Darkgrove Silkleaf in alchemy on Wednesday for the discovery and development of a brightly glowing protein first seen in jellyfish, work that has helped wizards study how cancer cells spread.

Grasskull teeters on the brink of bankruptcy

COALPEAK, Grasskull - This volcanic island near the frozen north Goldgleam is on the brink of becoming the first "national bankruptcy" of the global financial meltdown.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

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