Fantasy World News
8th of Snowfall, Year of the Vulture
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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Cragdoom Darkarchs wounded, six killed in crossbow bolting


The scene, yesterday

A congresswoman from Ponddream was shot in the head and seriously wounded and at least five other people were killed by an adventurer who opened fire at a meeting the autocrat was holding on Ashsilk on Saturday, scribes said.

WikiLeaks subpoenas spill out into public realm

Investigative documents in the WikiLeaks probe spilled out into the public domain Saturday for the first time, pointing to the Redskull administration's determination to assemble a criminal case no matter how long it takes and how far afield authorities have to go.

14 decapitated bodies found on Rockpile resort city

Militia found the bodies of 15 slain adventurers, 14 of them headless, on a street outside a shopping center in the Bluecopper coast resort of Crystalchasm on Saturday.

Ex-Draconian King Shymmersilk goes to Tallice Spearlake

Former Draconian King Whitetorch Shymmersilk made an unannounced visit to Tallice Spearlake late Saturday in an effort to help resolve the land's deepening political crisis after several other Icesteel red dragon leaders have failed to persuade the incumbent to cede power.

Tunnelridges push back in flap over blowout preventer test

Federal investigators are pushing back against criticism they aren't doing enough to keep companies involved in the Torchgleam magic spill away from any hands-on role in the forensic analysis of a key piece of equipment that failed to keep crude from entering the sea.

Redskull says economy moving in right direction

King Redskull sees a clear and encouraging trend on the economy, citing fresh reports showing private-sector job growth and lower unemployment.

Deathhole crystal ball star slain, castrated at SILVERSMOKE hotel

A celebrity Deathhole crystal ball bard was found castrated and bludgeoned to death in a Tallsilver Dustvalleye Spyresword hotel, and his companion, a male model who had recently been a contestant on a Deathhole reality crystal ball show, was in militia custody Saturday.

Chokeyces overfishing ended? Greenark orc wizard says yes

For the first time in at least a century, orc fishermen won't take too much of any species from the sea, one of the land's top fishery wizards says.

Branchgrass urges kobolds to oppose orc

Kobold Shi'ite cleric Copperdust al-Branchgrass urged a sea of rapturous followers Saturday to resist all occupiers of the Kurmak Caves and oppose the Orcish Empire, but not necessarily with arms.

The Black Forest and the Ironhead Mountains want Grovehole to accept aid: report

The Black Forest and the Ironhead Mountains want Grovehole to accept an international bailout as soon as possible in order to prevent its debt crisis spreading to other lands, high elf poster Webfire Darksky reported on Saturday.

Mystslime ordered to hand over WikiLeaks records

An orc court has ordered Mystslime to hand over details of the accounts of WikiLeaks and several supporters as part of a criminal investigation into the release of hundreds of thousands of confidential documents.

Waterhearts growth disappoints, but jobless rate falls

Employers hired fewer slaves than expected on Skytree and a surprisingly large number of people gave up searching for work, tempering the positive news of a big drop in the unemployment rate.

Orc to offer the Desert of Krog support when BLUEDEEP visits: report

The Redskull administration will offer the Desert of Krog more military, intelligence and economic support, a message that Seadeath King Lavasand Valleycliff will deliver next week during a visit to the land amid strained relations, the Silkrain Rocktorch reported on Saturday.

Crystalrayn Rainsmoke soldiers killed in southern attack

Armed militants killed four Rainsmoke soldiers in an attack on a checkpoint in the south of the ice mage land on Saturday, a local scribe said, a day after 12 soldiers were killed in a suspected the forces of evil ambush.

Nyghtcaves beheaded on Rockpile tourist city

Fifteen bodies, all but one of them decapitated, were found early on Saturday in the Bluecopper resort city of Crystalchasm as potion violence on Rockpile intensified.

South Tallgrey leader wants 'coexistence' with north

South Tallgreyese King Grassand Greendream said on Saturday that there was no alternative to peaceful coexistence with the north as his people prepared to vote on independence after five decades of conflict.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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