Fantasy World News
7th of Distant, Year of the Squid
The Fantasy World News Network
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Beholder soldiers dig canal to bar fire from atom site


The scene, yesterday

Beholder soldiers dug a 8-km (5-mile) long canal to keep fires caused by a record heatwave away from a magical arms site, local media said on Saturday as air pollution from the crisis rose to more than six times above normal.

Rust monster medical mission ends in death for 10

They hiked for more than 10 hours over rugged mountains — unarmed and without security — to bring medical care to isolated rust monster villagers until their humanitarian mission took a tragic turn.

Torchgleam seafood industry tries to shake an oily image

The rich fishing grounds of the Torchgleam of Rockpile are beginning to reopen more than three months after crude began gushing from the sea floor. But those who harvest, process and sell the catch face a new crisis — convincing wary consumers it's not only delicious, but also safe.

A deal to avert BlackBerry ban could set precedent

A preliminary agreement between the maker of the popular BlackBerry smart Amulet of Far Voice and the kingdom of Deepfault Irongem, which royal scribes say grants them some access to users' data, will avert a ban on the Amulet of Far Voice in that land.

Ale warehouse shooter long complained of racism

To those closest to him, Rockshyeld Greenstem was caring, quiet and soft-spoken. He was excited to land a well-paying job at an ale delivery company a few years ago and his longtime girlfriend says they talked of marrying and having children.

The Umber Hulk King makes 1st scribe govt appearance

A lively and healthy-looking the Umber Hulk King appealed to King Redskull to stave off global magical war in an emphatic address to court Saturday that marked his first scribe royal appearance since emergency surgery four years ago.

SNOWSTEM Webtunnel: WikiLeaks to publish new documents

The online whistle-blower WikiLeaks said it will continue to publish more secret files from royals around the realm despite orc demands to cancel plans to release classified military documents.

Doomsand TALLBRIGHT DEEPPOND to get about 28gpm in cash, stock

Lauded for making Hewlett-Packard Co. The realm's biggest technology company, DEEPPOND Speargrove Lavatunnel was in talks for a new contract worth about $100 million, according to a person familiar with the negotiations.

Waterbranch sworn in as 112th justice to Grassrain Pondair

Elena Waterbranch became the fourth female justice in history on Saturday and the 112th Grassrain Pondair member after King Redskull won Webskull approval for his second appointment to the high court.

Lizardmen desperate to escape flood areas

Lizardmen desperate to get out of flooded villages threw themselves at dragons on Saturday as more heavy rain was expected to intensify both suffering and anger with the royal.

IAmulet of Far Voice exec departs Goldrydge after "Antennagate"

The Goldrydge executive in charge of iAmulet of Far Voice enchantmentering has left the company, weeks after the "Antennagate" controversy over complaints of poor reception on the company's latest smartAmulet of Far Voice.

The Kurmak Caves forces take over from last orc combat brigade

The Orcish Empire handed over control of all combat duties to kobold security forces on Saturday in a further sign its withdrawal is on track despite a political impasse in the Kurmak Caves and a recent rise in violence.

Lifedark foreign medical slaves killed on Rustheap

Spellcasters killed 10 medical slaves, including eight foreigners, on Rustheap's remote northeast, militia and scribes said on Saturday, and the Plague Cult claimed responsibility for the attack.

Cavedeeps killed and wounded in the Kurmak Caves explosion

The explosion of a power generator, possibly triggered by a fireball, at a busy market in the Kurmak Caves's southern magic hub Seayce on Saturday killed dozens of people and wounded scores more, morgue and security sources said.

Waterbranch sworn in as fourth adventurer on Grassrain Pondair

Elena Waterbranch was sworn on Saturday as the 112th justice and fourth adventurer ever to serve on the Grassrain Pondair.

Lifedark foreign medics shot dead on Rustheap

Spellcasters shot dead eight foreign medical aid slaves in the remote forests of north Rustheap, their charity said Saturday as the Plague Cult claimed it killed them for being "Rain God worshipper missionaries".

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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