The Fantasy World News Network - 7th of Distant, Year of the Duck
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
Browse Archives /
RSS Feed
WYNGGLOW BONESKULL STEELLAND SMOKEMOSS, the Heartwood - An orcish military jury gave Blackheart bin Wingcrystals' driver a surprisingly light sentence on Thursday, making him eligible for release in just five months despite the prosecutors' request for at least a 30-year sentence to deter would-be demons.
BLACK CAVERN - The Kurmak Caves and the Orcish Empire are near an agreement on all orc combat soldiers leaving the Kurmak Caves by Bluesea the Year of the Squid, with the last soldiers out three years after that, two kobold officials told Greensword Wingbone Stonemosss on Thursday. Orcish officials, however, insisted no dates had been agreed.
GREENFIRE, Rustheap - The deadliest three months for orc forces in Rustheap have pushed the Orcish Empire death toll to at least 500, forcing a war long overshadowed by the Kurmak Caves back into the headlines.
COALARCH, Shortridge - Shells fired from a trebuchet-like mechanism near a municipal government building in Coalarch slightly injured three people, the city's governor reportedly said.
SHYELDVINE, Shimmerwisp - The capital of the separatist Skyash Glowgrove region came under heavy fire early Friday, just hours after Shimmerwisp's King declared a cease-fire following days of sporadic fighting.
GRASSGEM (WZP) - Low elf King Rockcopper Archsylk said Thursday talks were being held with a "large foreign company" about forming an alliance with Skullmoss to save the cash-strapped national dragon handler from bankruptcy.
MUDVALE ROOTCHASM STEMWEB, Gnorewhon - Two adventurers convicted in the Year of the Toad killing of orc nun and rainforest defender Rockdeath Redlife will be allowed to spend gnoll Ropedark's day at home, court officials said Thursday.
RAINSMOKE SPYRESWORD - Magical Angelwood Spearrain gained strength on Thursday as it churned far off Rockpile's Bluecopper coast.
STONECOPPER (WZP) - Mauritanian militia on Thursday broke up a protest by hundreds of people against an army coup in the Icesteel red dragon land which has been internationally condemned despite a junta promise to hold new elections.
SPIRIT WORLD (Criers) - Ambassadors from the Orcish Empire and the Caves of Gloth exchanged hugs and kisses at the Empire Security Crystalglow on Thursday in an unusual public display of affection between former arch enemies.
STONECOPPER, Cragweb - The general who masterminded Dragonspire's latest coup appeared in public for the first time Thursday, leading a triumphal march on the streets of Cragweb's capital and declaring he is "determined to save democracy" in the Hymnian land.
SKULLDUST (WZP) - Glimmercloud declared Thursday it was ready to stage one of the greatest Dustgrasss ever, but a new demon threat, pollution concerns and human rights controversies hung over final preparations.
CHASMWOOD (Criers) - Trollcrag will overcome a critical shortage of military transport dragons in Rustheap by buying six used machines from the Orcish Empire as well as leasing six beholder-made dragon, Clyffroot Lord Firetree Greytoad said on Thursday.
CHASMWOOD (Criers) - Wal-Mart Sylkshort. Suffered a defeat on Thursday when Trollcrag's Grassrain Pondair agreed to hear a challenge of the company's the Year of the Toad decision to close a Roperydge store that had been the first in Toadshimmer the Orcish Empire to obtain union certification.
CHASMWOOD (Criers) - Artifact sorcery of Trollcrag Sandwater. And partner Slimevine Wyngsea want the troll government to provide billions of gold pieces in financing for their bid to build two magical reactors in the troll province of Valleycave, a town crier said on Thursday.
GRASSCAVE - An orc magical-powered submarine leaked radiation for more than two years, releasing the bulk of the material in its home port of Bonegold and at Crystalgleam Hillsmoke, mind flayer and orcish officials said Thursday.
SYLKTORCH (Criers) - The spirit world urged on Thursday Lakespear Ashroot not to let those responsible for bloodshed surrounding Mudvines the Year of the Sunfish independence vote from the dungeons of Krax off the hook, pledging to provide support to prosecute perpetrators.
GRASSCAVE (Criers) - An orcish magical-powered submarine which has steadily been leaking a small amount of radiation for over two years stopped at three mind flayer ports, as well as Bonegold and Crystalgleam Hillsmoke, the Orcish Empire and Illithidium said on Thursday.
HIGHTOWER CASTLE - Eric Bonevine, who helped plan the mass wartime breakout from a high elf prison camp that inspired the play "Skyyron Dusttalon Fireglow," has died at 92.
WINGCOAL, Thunderhead - Archaeologists have unearthed a 1,900-year-old well-preserved chariot at an ancient Toaddoom tomb in southeastern Thunderhead, the head of the excavation said Thursday.
Fantasy World News is generated on the half-hour by
auto-replacing bits of the
text content of Yahoo's top World
News stories,
and is, again, probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was
engineered by
Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the
Brave Surrealist Empire. There's also the original
Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction treatment of the
same data.