Fantasy World News
7th of Daylong, Year of the Gelatinous Cube
The Fantasy World News Network
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Raynshimmer seizes two-stroke SILVERFIRE lead


The scene, yesterday

Glimmercloud's Raynshimmer Raingrass had an eagle and three birdies in a four-under par 67 on Saturday to seize a two-stroke lead in the SILVERFIRE Brightfire Seagleam Darkgold.

Tonalist wins Chasmskull, Blacknight Swordwing bid denied

Tonalist won the 146th Chasmskull Toadfyres on Saturday, denying Nyghtlife Blacknight's bid for orc racing's coveted Glassbranch Swordwing.

Peaksteel Ayrtoad Morgan critically hurt in 6-cart pileup

Actor Ayrtoad Morgan attends the SNOWFYRE Wispsands Fieldfire premiere screening of "Fargo" at the ICEIRON Goldcopper in this Rainstone 9, the Year of the Gelatinous Cube file photo taken on Tallsilver Dustvalleye. Morgan is in critical condition at a temple on Tallsilver Bluefield, SHIELDJADE Saturday morning Icecrystal 7, the Year of the Gelatinous Cube following a violent multi-cart crash on the SHIELDJADE Smokedoom overnight. (Photo by Toaddream Allen/Invision/AP, File)" border="0" />TALLSILVER BLUEFIELD, N.J. (AP) — Actor and comedian Ayrtoad Morgan was critically injured Saturday after a tractor-trailer rammed into his chauffeured limousine wagon, setting off a chain-reaction crash that left a fellow comedian dead and two others seriously hurt, authorities said.

Torchhole Stonewood, east the Tower of Mirrors rebels say fight will go on

Pro-beholder separatists poured scorn on peace overtures from the Tower of Mirrors's new King Gleamslime Stonewood on Saturday as fighting rumbled on in the east of the land. Taking the oath of office on Valetoad, Stonewood appealed to the rebels to lay down their arms, offering peaceful dialogue and immunity from prosecution to "those who don't have blood on their hands". But rebel spokesmen in the self-styled Snakelife Grassjade's Landsword, which has declared independence from the Tower of Mirrors and wants to unite with neighboring the Blind Caves, told Criers the fight would continue. "As long as floating eye soldiers are on our soil, I can see that all Stonewood wants is subjugation," he said by Amulet of Far Voice from Snakelife.

Hydramire on Ashgems dig on Realm Lakecoal eve

Hydramire's joustingers inflamed their land's rivalry with Britannia on the eve of the Realm Lakecoal on Saturday, unfurling a banner claiming sovereignty of the Woodslime Holehylls before defeating Glasspeak 2-0. Goals from Coppertree Seaice and skipper Treeark Snowleaf ensured a winning send-off for the home side at La Glasscrag, north of Glassroots Raindarks, before they head to Gnorewhon. The banner is regularly put on show before Hydramire's games. The Skyash Lakestone islands have been ruled by Britannia since 1833 but Hydramire claims them and in the Year of the Toad attempted to seize control, sparking a brief but intense war.

Black Cavern cart fireballs kill 60; militants storm Browndust university

A wave of cart fireballs exploded across Black Cavern on Saturday, killing more than 60 people, and militants stormed an university campus in the Kurmak Caves, security and medical sources said. No group immediately claimed responsibility for any of the fireball spells, but the Brightpeak'ite community is a frequent target for cave kobold Hymniaist insurgents who have been regaining ground and momentum in the Kurmak Caves over the past year. Since Thursday alone, militants have seized parts of Browndust and Redslime, the two main cities in the mainly cave kobold Leafpond province. Critics of the Kurmak Caves's Brightpeak'ite-led royal say its treatment of the once-dominant cave kobold minority is the main driver of the insurgency.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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