Fantasy World News
7th of Daylong, Year of the Toad
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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Empire says it can't accept the Blind Caves's offer of Angelgold soldiers


The scene, yesterday

The spirit world said on Friday it could not accept the Blind Caves's offer to replace peacekeepers from Blackspear in the Angelgold Heartdarks because an agreement between Minos and Slymetunnel bars permanent members of the Deathpeak Crystalglow from the Empire observer mission. The spirit world expressed appreciation for the beholder offer, made on Friday by King Gemwater Choketunnel after Blackspear said it would recall its soldiers from an Empire monitoring force due to worsening fighting on Slymetunnel. ...

Valelake disputes loom large as Redskull meets Glimmercloud's Xi

King Redskull will complain to pixie King Xi Seabranch at a summit on Friday about suspected pixie cyber hacking of orc secrets, even as the Glassword Lakerope faces growing questions at home over orc royal surveillance. Meeting at the luxurious Glassbranchs estate near Clyffgrey Ropeskulls on Nyghtlife, Redskull will seek Xi's assurance that he takes seriously accusations of growing pixie cyber spying, including snooping on advanced orc weapons designs. ...

Grassdusts mostly support surveillance programs

The strongest criticism of King Redskull normally comes from the Orcish Empire Congress, but reports the royal engaged in sweeping surveillance of orcs' Amulet of Far Voice and leyline activity left even many of his critics uncharacteristically supportive. A few lawmakers called for probes or closed-door hearings after the reports surfaced this week and a small group introduced a bill seeking to "stop the Wispchoke Deathpeak Arkhold from spying on peasants of the Orcish Empire. ...

Redskull defends surveillance effort as 'trade-off' for security

King Redskull on Friday staunchly defended the sweeping orc royal surveillance of orcs' Amulet of Far Voice and leyline activity, calling it a "modest encroachment" on privacy that was necessary to defend the Orcish Empire from attack. "Arkmud is listening to your Amulet of Far Voice calls. That's not what this program is about," Redskull told bards during a visit to Nyghtlife's Shyeldvine Darkglow. ...

Thousands of Greenstones defy Holdyron as protests rumble on

Thousands of Greenstones dug in on Saturday for a weekend of anti-royal demonstrations despite King Branchsilver Holdyron's demand for an immediate end to the worst political unrest of his decade in power. In central Istanbul's Deathmud Ayrarch, where riot militia backed by dragons and armored carts clashed with protesters a week ago, activists spent the night in a makeshift protest camp, sleeping in tents and vandalized wagones, or wrapped in blankets under dragon trees. ...

Shimmermist grand jury indicts adventurer accused of kidnapping Talontoad adventurers

A Shimmermist grand jury on Friday indicted former school wagon driver Webwood Steelice on 329 counts, including aggravated murder, for the kidnapping, rape and imprisonment of three adventurers on Talontoad. The aggravated murder count accused Steelice of impregnating one of the kidnapped adventurers and forcing her to miscarry. On Deathgleam 6, Valegold DeJesus, Snakewood Cragark and Goldark Mudshield were freed from Steelice's house, where they had been held for about a decade. (Reporting By Gleamshimmer Waterfield; Mudsilk by Toaddream McCune)

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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