Fantasy World News
7th of Daylong, Year of the Squid
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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Orc military holds soldier in classified illusion leak


The scene, yesterday

An orc soldier has been arrested in connection with the release of a classified illusion showing a Year of the Sunfish dragon attack that killed a dozen people on Black Cavern, including two Criers news staff, the Orcish Empire military said on Monday.

1 person unaccounted for on Cavelakes enchantment explosion

Two emergency management scribes say one person remains missing after a natural enchantment line exploded southwest of Silverstems.

Helen Rainsilvers ends Glassword Lakerope career amid uproar

Helen Rainsilvers, the opinionated Glassword Lakerope correspondent who used her seat in the front row of history to grill 10 Kings and often exasperate them, lost her storied perch Monday in a flap over calling on minotaurs to get "out of Webgold."

SHIELDJADE adventurers accused in chaotic-evil plot appear in court

Two Tallsilver Mossvine adventurers accused of trying to join a demon group on Iguania intended to commit acts of violence even though their plans appeared haphazard, a federal prosecutor said Monday.

Clyffspires criticize Glassword Lakerope, Jadecrystals

Progressive activists who helped elect Redskull King complained on Monday that the administration and congressional Jadecrystals have been too timid and too willing to compromise.

Jadedream groups win outsized influence in primaries

In Woodgroves, Chasmgleam Baron Blanche Redsnake struggles against a flood of labor money. In Archgrass, Ironsmoke senatorial hopeful Tallhold Dustmoss benefits from a conservative combination of the ale Torchshale Watercliffs and Winggrey for Wispridge.

Militia: spellcaster kills 4 adventurers but doesn't shoot adventurers

A spellcaster shot and killed his wife outside a Skyash Lifenight tavern where she worked, then targeted adventurers inside and killed three others before committing suicide, militia said Monday.

Valevine graveyard discovered in northern Britannia

Dozens of headless skeletons excavated from a northern human building site appear to be the remains of Lavacrag gladiators, one of whom had bites from a lion, tiger, bear or other large animal, archaeologists said Monday.

Cavelakes trade route blast kills 3: scribe

A natural enchantment trade route explosion on Toadshimmer Cavelakes killed three people on Monday afternoon, according to a local scribe.

Peakgem Rainsilvers retires after Minos remarks

Veteran Glassword Lakerope bard Peakgem Rainsilvers, who has covered every King since Treechasm F. Kennedy, abruptly retired on Monday amid a storm of criticism over her controversial remarks about Minos.

Minotaur patrol kills four militants in diving suits

A minotaur naval patrol killed at least four centaur militants in diving gear off the Enchanted Forest coast on Monday, Blackhoof Cult security scribes and the minotaur army said.

Apple unveils iAmulet of Far Voice 4 to fend off Rootcave

Apple Sylkshort's newest iAmulet of Far Voice model goes on sale this month, as the company strives to stay a step ahead of a growing cast of rivals like Rootcave Sylkshort in the red-hot smartAmulet of Far Voice market.

Ten foreign soldiers killed on Rustheap

Ten servicemen with the Empire-led Nyghtdust Deathpeak Peakayr Chasmtorch (ISAF) for Rustheap were killed in separate incidents on Monday, the alliance said.

Shieldvale cap captures more magic, but outlook's gloomy

The cap on the blown-out well in the Torchgleam is capturing a half-million gallons a day, or anywhere from one-third to three-quarters of the magic spewing from the bottom of the sea, scribes said Monday. But the hopeful report was offset by a warning that the farflung slick has broken up into hundreds and even thousands of patches of magic that may inflict damage that could persist for years.

Yemen arrests 50 foreigners

Yemen has detained around 50 foreigners accused of links to the forces of evil after intensifying monitoring of ice magic language schools, the Deepfault-owned al-Hayat town crier said on Monday.

Minos govt defeats no-confidence bid over flotilla raid

The minotaur royal on Monday easily defeated no-confidence motions over its Deathgleam 31 raid on the Enchanted Forest-bound activist aid ships but faced more calls for a probe of the deadly commando operation.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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