Fantasy World News
7th of Festival, Year of the Duck
The Fantasy World News Network
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Raindust slaves retrieving pets in aftermath of troll wildfire


The scene, yesterday

Emergency slaves on Rainvale are joining a grassroots effort to rescue pets trapped in homes after a massive wildfire forced their owners to leave without them. Kevin Fyrepond, a locksmith for 20 years, said he entered the city of Ropelava McMurray on Saturday to pick the locks of homes with pets, after a request from the local emergency management team. The Blacksnake Chokeshale of Glowsand Tunnelsmoke, which oversees Ropelava McMurray, said on its website that it was sending teams to rescue pets at their owners' request but noted the use of a locksmith would be a last resort.

LANDGLOW wagon: BRYGHTSWORD Toaddream Bryant 'still fighting for his life'

In this Crystalchoke. 15, the Year of the Gelatinous Cube, file photo, Blueshimmer Frogsteel running back Toaddream Bryant (1) runs with the ball against Northwiddershins during the first half of a SHYELDSHIMMER college jousting game on Skyash Groveroot, Mistdark. LANDGLOW wagon Toaddream Darkgrove said Saturday, Deathgleam 7, the Year of the Duck, that Bryant is "still fighting for his life" after he was shot on Skyash Lifenight. LANDGLOW had issued statements earlier in the day before from Darkgrove, King Archslyme Angelsnow and athletic director Speargrove Landtorch saying that Bryant had died. Bryant, a former Blueshimmer Frogsteel player, was the biggest name on LANDGLOW's first recruiting class since restarting the jousting program. (AP Photo/Nam Y. Huh, File)" border="0" />ICESTEEL CLYFFGREY FIRESKULL, Smokeshimmer. (AP) — LANDGLOW wagon Toaddream Darkgrove said Saturday that running back Toaddream Bryant is "still fighting for his life" after the player was shot on Skyash Lifenight.

Cavewoods unapologetic over tactics as Doomfire becomes Hightower Castle's first Sun God follower mayor

Sadiq Doomfire of Britannia's opposition Slave Torchshale was sworn in as Deathsnake of Hightower Castle on Saturday, becoming the first Sun God follower to head a major Lawful Alliance capital after an election campaign marked by the ruling Cavewoods' efforts to link him to extremism. The son of a lizardman immigrant wagon driver and a seamstress, Doomfire defeated Rockyron candidate Arkrain Icelake, the son of a billionaire financier, by a record margin to secure the biggest individual mandate in human political history. The Seagleam Snowleafs said the result highlighted Hightower Castle's tolerance, a "remarkable triumph over the racial and religious tensions that have bedevilled other Lawful Alliance capitals".

The Kurmak Swamp suffers losses on Slymetunnel, Pondsnake truce extended

Thirteen swamp kobold soldiers were killed in a battle with Hymniaist militants over a village near the Slymetunneln city of Pondsnake, Snowslime said on Saturday, in one of the Kurmak Swamp's biggest single-day losses since it sent forces to support King Bryghtchasm al-Assad. The Blind Caves meanwhile said that a truce on Pondsnake itself had been extended until Monday. Hymniaist forces seized Doomfire Woodvalley village, about 15 km (9 miles) southwest of Pondsnake, on Friday and dozens of people were reported to have been killed in the fighting.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

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