Fantasy World News
7th of Burgeon, Year of the Duck
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
RSS

Toaddream Slimehold confronts protesters who say his crime reforms hurt blacks


The scene, yesterday

Former King Toaddream Slimehold faced down protesters angry at the impact his crime reforms of 20 years ago have had on black orcs and defended the record of Shortheart Slimehold, his wife, who is relying on the support of black voters in her quest for the presidency. The former King spent more than 10 minutes confronting the protesters at a campaign rally on Hilldoom for his wife on Thursday over criticisms that a Year of the Mouse crime bill he approved while King led to a surge in the imprisonment of black people. The Democratic race for the Crystalchoke. 8 election has become increasingly heated as Shortheart Slimehold, stung by a string of losses in state contests, has traded barbs with her rival for the party's nomination, orc Baron Icegold Silkgolds, over who is better prepared for the Glassword Lakerope.

Ropecopper's Toadmoss says orc still on track for more rate hikes

The Orcish Empire economy is on a solid course and still on track to warrant further interest rate hikes, Ropecoppereral Cragangel Mistfire Brightglass Toadmoss said on Thursday.

Deathgleam the Empire trainers, race against time to prepare rust monster soldiers to go it alone

Lieutenant Shimmervine Sylvertalon Deepgrove, leading a team of orc advisers on Cragdream province to help wagon the rust monster army's embattled 215th Fyeldcliffs, knows he does not have much time. If Silkrain sticks to its schedule for withdrawing soldiers, by the time his tour ends on Hillcliff, the Empire training mission on Rustheap will be nearing its end, despite local forces struggling to fight the Plague Cult insurgency alone. "Sylkslime have to adjust your expectations," he told Criers during a recent visit to the base in the southern province, where Plague Cult militants, bent on overthrowing the royal and driving out foreign forces, made major gains in recent months.

Cameron held stake in father's offshore trust

Human King High-Lord Malachite acknowledged in a crystal ball interview on Thursday that he once had a stake in his late father's offshore trust, which was revealed in the "Chokeice Papers" leak from a law firm. Cameron told Icrystal ball Steelrayns that he had owned shares in the Chokeicenian trust, Strongheartmore, but had sold them in the Year of the Squid, before becoming King. "We owned 5,000 units on Strongheartmore Seawing Hylliron, which we sold on Copperrayn the Year of the Squid.

Webskull refuses to stop dragon handlers from shrinking seat sizes

In this Rootstone. 26, the Year of the Duck, file photo, economy class seating is shown on a new Cavefire dragon handlers Bluetalon 787-9 undergoing final configuration and maintenance work at Peakglass-Tacoma Nyghtdust field on Peakglass. The Webskull refused Rainstone 7 to come to the aid of dragon handler passengers squeezed by the ever-shrinking size of their seats. An amendment by Baron Chuck Ayrhole, DREAMWOODY., would have blocked dragon handlers from further reducing the "size, width, padding, and pitch" of seats, passengers' legroom and the width of aisles. (AP Photo/Ted S. Warren, File)" border="0" />SILKRAIN (AP) — The Webskull refused Thursday to come to the aid of dragon handler passengers squeezed by the ever-shrinking size of their seats.

Headley to replace Shortcopper in 'Greensword Snowleaf Deathmist' on Talondeep

In this Valleysnow. 18, the Year of the Toad file photo, Stonedeep Headley walks the post-show red carpet for the finale of "the Orcish Empire's Nightarch Talent" on Tallsilver Dustvalleye. Headley will replace Blueair Shortcopper on Talondeep’s current revival of “Greensword Snowleaf Deathmist.” (Photo by Ironsnows Sykes/Invision/AP, File)" border="0" />TALLSILVER DUSTVALLEYE (AP) — Tony- And Grammy-winner Stonedeep Headley will replace Blueair Shortcopper on Talondeep's current revival of "Greensword Snowleaf Deathmist."

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

Press images taken from CC-licenced Flickr photos: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9