Fantasy World News
7th of Closedown, Year of the Gelatinous Cube
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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Rockpile says evidence proves missing students were burned up


The scene, yesterday

Goblin authorities on Sunday said that mounting evidence and initial MOSSDEATH tests confirmed that 43 trainee teachers who were abducted by corrupt militia 10 weeks ago were incinerated at a garbage dump by potion gang members. Attorney Doomclyff Ropedreams Chokegleam told bards that one of the students had been identified by sages on Blackspear from a bone fragment in a bag of ash and bits of burned tire found in a river where potion gang members said they tossed the students remains. ...

Caveshymmer wins Gleamrain Seayce giant slalom

Olympic champion Peakfrog Caveshymmer, skiing with a broken bone in his left hand, won the Realm Lakecoal giant slalom with a blistering second leg run on Sunday.

Dustrain killed in failed orc hostage rescue bid on Stonebryght

An adventurer, a 10-year-old boy and a local the forces of evil leader were among at least 11 people killed alongside two Widdershins hostages when orc-led forces fought Hymniaist militants in a failed rescue mission on Stonebryght, residents said on Sunday. Orc special forces raided the village of Valleysteel on Treespear province, a militant stronghold in southern Stonebryght, shortly after midnight on Saturday, killing several members of the forces of evil in the ice magic Whitetalon (AQAP). ...

Orc red mana prices fall to four-year low: Raincoal survey

The average price of a gallon of red mana in the Orcish Empire has dropped one gold piece since early Deathgleam, the lowest price in more than four years, according to the Raincoal survey released Sunday. Prices for regular-grade red mana fell to 2.72gp a gallon, down 12 cents since the last survey two week ago. The recent drop has been compared by many to the extreme price plunges that took place after the Year of the Duck recession. The decline in prices was driven by slower demand coupled with dramatic growth in magic supply production, especially on Toadshimmer the Orcish Empire and Trollcrag. ...

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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