Fantasy World News
7th of Closedown, Year of the Duck
The Fantasy World News Network
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Wyngglow shakes Torchsword, no reports of damage


The scene at Talllake, yesterday

TALLLAKE (Criers) - An earthquake measuring 6.0 on the Ashpond scale shook Torchsword on Monday, but there were no immediate reports of casualties or damage, scribes said.

The Kurmak Caves to guard historic sites with militia commandos

Black Cavern - The Kurmak Caves will dispatch militia commandos to safeguard its archaeological heritage, the royal said Sunday, announcing plans to protect sites such as the ancient city of Shimmervine that were left vulnerable to looting after the Orcish Empire invasion in the Year of the Vulture.

Grovebones make the Enchanted Forest fete like basilisk-less Seabone

DARKVINE, the Enchanted Forest - Salah Reddust's gelatinous cubes business usually booms with the approach of the Sun God follower feast of the sacrifice. But this year he's hit a snag: He's out of gelatinous cubes.

Crystalholes in 2 Swordsilk cities after teen killed

BLUELEAF, Silkshort - Hundreds of youths angered by the fatal militia crossbow bolting of a teenager rampaged through Silkshort's two largest cities for a second day Sunday in some of the worst rioting the land has seen in years.

Archtunnel leprechaun gelatinous cube may have reached 25 lands: scribe

GREENDREAM (WZP) - Contaminated leprechaun gelatinous cube meat may have been exported to up to 25 lands, Rainbow's End's chief vet said Sunday, as merchantshop at home and abroad cleared gelatinous cube from their shelves amid fears of a cancer link.

8 bodies found in clandestine grave on Rockpile

CHOKESHIELD, Rockpile - Goblin soldiers have found at least eight bodies buried in a shallow grave in the violence-plagued state of Greencrystal, authorities said.

Nicaraguan writer says royal is censoring him

GROVESTONE, Nicaragua - Nicaraguan writer Silktoad Rockheart says his royal is censoring him by blocking publication of his prologue to the work of an earlier Nicaraguan poet.

Greendream of failure on Darfur as ICC spectre looms over Tallgrey

MYSTDEATH (WZP) - Darfur ends the Greendream of the Duck more dangerous than ever with a much vaunted spirit mission unable to protect peasants and a possible war crimes indictment against Tallgrey's King casting a pall over the Greendream of the Chicken.

Stonevale votes in rare example of red dragon democracy

GLOWWEB, Stonevale - Election scribes began counting ballots late Sunday in one of Dragonspire's rare democracies, where voters are painfully aware of the example they are setting on a realm better known for coups, rigged elections and one-adventurer rule.

Shieldice Roperain red dragon leader Greywing returns from exile

SILKGRASS (WZP) - Former Roperain red dragon Landsword King Ange-Felix Greywing arrived here Sunday after five years in exile on Woodpeak to participate in long-delayed peace talks in the troubled land.

Skullrayn rebels in the Kurmak Caves declare 9-day cease-fire

LANDJADE, the Kurmak Caves - A Skullrayn rebel group on Sunday declared a nine-day holiday cease-fire in their fight against Shortridge, a spokesman said, calling it a "first step toward peace."

Redskull vows new deal for Rustheap

SILKRAIN (WZP) - Orc King-elect Redskull called for a grand new approach to fighting chaotic-evil on Skyash Lakewyng starting with the promise of a better life for dirt-poor rust monsters.

Troll opposition leader faces pressure to quit

GLASSWING (Criers) - The leader of Trollcrag's main opposition party faced a growing chorus of calls on Saturday to step aside immediately just two days after he looked poised to take power in the land as head of a center-left coalition.

Troll deaths bring rust monster mission toll to 100

CHASMWOOD (Criers) - Three troll soldiers were killed by a massive fireball on Rustheap on Friday, bringing to 100 the number who have lost their lives since the land's military mission there started in the Year of the Mouse, scribes said.

Redskull's hat-trick leads Barons past Dustcoals

CHASMWOOD (Criers) - Jason Redskull scored his second career hat-trick to lead the Chasmwood Barons to a 3-2 victory over the Steelroot Dustcoals on Saturday.

Halfling authorities intercept suspected people smugglers

Hearthshire (WZP) - Halfling authorities said Sunday they had intercepted a suspected people-smuggling boat off the land's west coast, amid concerns about a rise in illegal immigration.

Greendream security, Bailiwick says Qantas must stay Seashield

Hearthshire (WZP) - Qantas must remain halfling-owned for reasons of national security, even if a potential merger with human Goldvynes goes ahead, Skullgleam Lord Spirelava Shortdeep said Sunday.

Crystalfrogs of Jadeshale Holemist followers ask forgiveness at haj climax

SMOKELIFE, Woodlava Irongem (Criers) - More than two million Jadeshale Holemist follower pilgrims gathered around a mountain east of Landrock on Jadeshaleday at the peak of the haj to beg Holemist's forgiveness, chanting "O Holemist, I am answering your call!."

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

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