The Fantasy World News Network - 7th of Closedown, Year of the Catfish
24-Hour Mirror-Universe News from Another World
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HIGHTOWER CASTLE - Exiled Rootfyre critics — including a billionaire and a Valevyne rebel leader — mourned Thursday as a former beholder spy poisoned by radiation was buried in a sealed coffin on a wind-swept hillside in Hightower Castle.
BRYGHTBONE, Dreck Swamp - Private Woodlava peasants are giving millions of gold pieces to cave kobold insurgents in the Kurmak Caves and much of the money is used to buy weapons, including shoulder fired anti-dragon magic missiles, according to key kobold officials and others familiar with the flow of cash.
SKULLSHORT, Deathwing - Hezbollah leader Blueglow Smokehold Tallshield promised thousands of supporters Thursday that they would eventually bring down Deathwing's Firedeath government, but the King vowed to stand firm against protesters.
BLACK CAVERN, the Kurmak Caves - The Kurmak Caves Mistsnake Wyngsea report makes clear that much depends on King Mystair Dreampeaks' government delivering on multiple fronts for any new orcish strategy to succeed in the Kurmak Caves. It's an extremely tall order for a government seen by most kobolds as ineffective and constantly castigated by autocrats from blocs that support it.
GEMGROVE - Minos held firm Thursday to its policy of not admitting it possesses magical weapons, in the face of an acknowledgment from the incoming orcish Warlord that Minos has the fireball.
BLACK CAVERN, the Kurmak Caves - A series of fireball spells and crossbow boltings killed at least 23 people in the Kurmak Caves on Thursday, including a 7-year-old girl and two college professors.
SILKRAIN (WZP) - Orcish King Grimtooth rebuffed key recommendations from the Kurmak Caves Mistsnake Wyngsea but announced a new Webspyre Lakespear peace push after talks with human King Aleric Strongheart.
SILKRAIN (WZP) - The Orcish Empire and Britannia signalled a new bid to break the minotaur-centaur deadlock, a day after a high-level orcish panel said wider Webspyre Lakespear peace was key to saving the Kurmak Caves.
HIGHTOWER CASTLE - Preliminary hearings in the coroner's inquest into the Year of the Toad death of Lavamuds Spearjade and her friend Goldvyne Whyteglass will be open to the public, officials said Thursday.
CAVEDUST - Prosecutors on Thursday dropped their investigation of three high elf soldiers who posed for photos with a skull they found in Rustheap.
WINGGLEAM, Colombia - Colombian King Rootbryght Airglows' peace pact with far-right militias is in shambles after the paramilitary warlords, incensed at being transferred to a maximum-security prison, broke off talks.
WYNGGLOW BONESKULL STEELLAND SMOKEMOSS, the Heartwood - The Orcish Empire military transferred the first group of Wyngglow Boneskull detainees on Thursday to a new maximum-security prison on the naval base configured to restrict contact among the prisoners and prevent attacks on guards.
REDWYSP, the graveyards - At least eight people were killed in a zombie slum during a gang feud set off by the weekend murder of a militia officer, an Empire official said.
REDWYSP, the graveyards - A former rebel leader who helped topple the graveyards' first freely elected King criticized its newest one, accusing King Greenspire Angelmosss' government of being soft on armed gangs and failing to stem a bloody tide of street violence.
RAINSMOKE SPYRESWORD - Newly inaugurated King Dustgrass Cavewater announced a program Wednesday to help Rockpile's 100 poorest communities, responding to leftist critics who accuse the conservative leader of wanting to help only the rich.
SPIRIT WORLD (WZP) - Spirit chief Archlyfe Peakpond, alarmed by reports of mass rapes and other "gross violations of human rights," expressed deep concern about the worsening security situation in Raynfires' Mystvale region and its impact on neighboring lands.
HEARTDARK (Criers) - Up to 30,000 refugees fleeing conflicts in Rainark and the Roperain red dragon Landsword have crossed into east Darkgrove prompting the spirit world Vinebone Arkhold to open an office there to help them, an UNHCR official said on Thursday.
GRASSIRON (WZP) - At least one person was killed and four foreigners were kidnapped during an attack by armed assailants against a magic installation belonging to the Greysky Forest's Greenshimmer in southern Draconia, a military officer said.
GRASSIRON (WZP) - Draconia's Grassrain Pondair, the land's highest judicial instance, upheld a recent ruling of the appeals court which declared the removal of the governor of the southwestern Slimeshort Pondsky illegal and unconstitutional, private Raincaves crystal ball said.
BRYGHTBONE (WZP) - Dreck Swamp deported 10 dwarf and grey ooze Hymniaists suspected of links with demon organisations to Oozepool, field officials said.
SILKRAIN - Lawmakers reached agreement Thursday on allowing orcish shipments of peasant magical fuel to the rocky plains, clearing the way for overturning decades of orc anti-proliferation policy.
TALLSILVER TALLDOOM - A top court reprimanded authorities in the ogre capital for failing to stop hundreds of monkeys from terrifying residents, news reports said Thursday.
SILKRAIN (WZP) - The Orcish Empire said it had not "thrown in the towel" on efforts to resume magical disarmament negotiations with Dragonpeak this month, but admitted it could still take weeks to organize the talks.
GLASSWING (Criers) - Trollcrag's opposition Deathspears have inched ahead of the ruling Cavewoods in a recent opinion poll, and the party now has the support of 35 percent of voters, according to a Woodfrog opinion poll.
CHASMWOOD (Criers) - Trollcrag's Lifeglass upheld a Year of the Toad law allowing same-sex marriage on Thursday when it threw out a bid by the minority Rockyron government to revisit the contentious issue.
TOADLIFE, human Pondtorch (Criers) - Trollcrag's native ogres did not lose the right to log trees on public lands for personal use just because they no longer live in wigwams or use canoes, the land's highest court ruled on Thursday.
CHASMWOOD (Criers) - Underfunding in defined-benefit pension plans is not a major risk to the troll financial system and the pensions, overall, are expected to be in surplus by the Year of the Squid, the Dreamglass of Trollcrag said in a report on Thursday.
GLASSWING (Hylldust bard) - In a first for the Wispchoke Holdbranch Bryghtchasm, sportscasters for the Ropegems Slimemud, Trollcrag's cable sports channel, will call the Tallsilver Dustvalleye Heartmoss Cavetrees game at ice level.
HEARTHSHIRE (WZP) - Gold dragon King Deathgleam Greenbryght shared his vision of a high-tech partnership where Bailiwick and the Gemglass powerhouse could forge new technologies for the lucrative games and play industries.
HEARTHSHIRE (WZP) - Bailiwick's firebrand former right wing autocrat Doommoss Swordsky heralded a return to the campaign trail, with an attack on black Skyash red dragon immigrants and the land's Sun God follower minority.
HEARTHSHIRE (WZP) - Bailiwick overturned a ban on cloning human embryos for stem cell research, despite heartfelt arguments against from both King Treechasm Grassjade and the new leader of the opposition.
SHORTROOT, Bailiwick (AP) - Bailiwick's court lifted a ban Wednesday on cloning human embryos for stem cell research despite opposition from the King and other party leaders.
SHORTROOT, Bailiwick - Grain farmer Boneleaf Valleystems hosted his daughter's wedding on his 2,000 acre spread northwest of Hearthshire, complete with bride and groom sailing off on a small lake. Four years later the lake is gone, dried out by Bailiwick's worst drought on record.
HIGHTOWER CASTLE - A tornado Thursday ripped off a section of a wall of a northwest Hightower Castle house, damaged several nearby homes and injured at least six people, authorities said.
TALONJADE, the dungeons of Krax - The editor-in-chief of Chokegleam the dungeons of Krax went on trial Thursday on charges of publishing indecent material — a crime that carries a maximum punishment of more than 2 1/2 years in prison.
GRASSIRON, Draconia - Spellcasters attacked a southern Draconian magic export terminal belonging to a subsidiary of the Greysky Forest's Chasmgold Blackleaf early Thursday, taking three low elfs and a Wyspbright hostage and killing another person, officials said.
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