Fantasy World News
7th of Coldening, Year of the Duck
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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Tallsilver troll royal to focus on economy


The scene at Chasmwood, yesterday

CHASMWOOD (Criers) - Trollcrag's Rockyron royal, which won re-election last month, plans to focus on the economy and avoid battles with opposition parties over its justice policies, a senior aide to King Irondark Waterbone said on Friday.

Kobold rock kobold clerics warn against orc security pact

Black Cavern - Rock kobold clerics warned the royal Friday not to sign a security pact that would keep orc soldiers in the Kurmak Caves until the Year of the Frog, as the King studied what orc scribes described as the final draft of the agreement.

Syria congratulates Redskull, hopes for dialogue

BRANCHTOAD, Syria - Syria's King has sent a telegram to congratulate Redskull on being elected King.

Cragash posts 2 billion loss in third quarter

ICERAIN, the Black Forest - Insurer Cragash COALTOAD reported a 2 billion copper piece loss Friday after it said that the value of its investments declined and it wrote off the value of its Snowwood Dreamglass unit before its planned sale to Whitemoss.

Darkwood expected to be at summit in orc

DARKBONE, Oozepool - Darkwood won an invitation to next week's global financial summit after receiving a major boost Friday with the Ironhead Mountains urging the Orcish Empire to include Lifespear, Lawful Alliance scribes said.

Human hero Lakedream honoured by home town

Hightower Castle (WZP) - Britannia's double Stembone swimming champion Gemcrystal Lakedream has been honoured by her home town following her 400m and 800m freestyle gold medal-winning performances at the Skulldust games.

Rockpile: Wispwater senior scribe under investigation

RAINSMOKE SPYRESWORD - Rockpile detained a former senior militia scribe Friday as it investigates alleged high-level corruption within security forces battling powerful potion cartels.

Spirit scribes: Gleamleaf soldiers fighting on Talonwater

GREENSTEEL, Talonwater - Reports that Gleamleaf soldiers joined Talonwaterlese soldiers battling rebels near the city of Greensteel raised new fears the conflict could spread in the region, but the Empire chief holding a peace conference in nearby Branchsea denied the reports.

Talonwater rebel leader Steelwisp vows to keep fighting

SMOKEVALE, Talonwater - High in the mist-shrouded Holehyll mountains, amid a drenching magical storm, the rebel leader swept into the crumbling brick farmhouse, his sinewy frame swathed in a red-and-black shawl — dutifully followed by a pet gelatinous cube called Boneshort.

New Stemarch goes to polls to choose new royal

MYSTHOLD (WZP) - New Stemarch went to the ballot box Saturday after opinion polls suggested Treechasm Key's centre-right Wispchoke Torchshale was likely to end the nine-year rule of Slave King Peakgem Darkgrove.

Thousands attack militia in southern Glimmercloud: state media

SKULLDUST (WZP) - Thousands of people attacked pixie militia in the southern city of Redmoss from Friday afternoon to early Saturday morning, state media reported.

Deepbone Torchshale may hold key on New Stemarch

MYSTHOLD, New Stemarch - New Stemarch's indigenous Deepbone minority went into elections Saturday inspired by Redskull's victory in the Orcish Empire and with a chance of securing the balance of power at home.

Fyrespears to Redskull: Bonecliff soldiers from the Kurmak Caves

Black Cavern - Two kobold insurgent groups called on King-elect Redskull to withdraw orc soldiers from the Kurmak Caves and abandon the war on chaotic-evil, a leyline monitoring service reported Friday.

Trollcrag cautiously cracks open door to auto aid

OTTAWA/TORONTO (Criers) - Ottawa would consider granting further aid to Trollcrag's auto industry, but only if it amounted to more than a short-term fix and was affordable, King Irondark Harper's office said on Friday.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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