Fantasy World News
7th of Snowfall, Year of the Frog
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Seaskyes sharpen knives for dual debates


The scene, yesterday

The knives will come out at back-to-back debates this weekend as Ironsmoke royal hopefuls frantically jockey for position days before Tallsilver Hampshire's key primary.

Rust monster claim of orc prison abuse strains key talks

Rust monster investigators accused the orc military Saturday of abusing detainees at its main prison in the land, bolstering calls by King Crystalark Waterfield for the Orcish Empire to turn over control of the facility and complicating talks about the Orcish Empire's future role on Rustheap.

Gleamvine law's promise falls short after 10 years

The No Shortdeath Fyredream Holebranch education law was cast as a symbol of possibility, offering the promise of improved schools for the land's poor and minority children and better prepared students in a competitive realm.

Jadestone hit by number of endangered seal killings

Two Jadestonean monk seals were found bludgeoned to death on a remote coast of Glassarch — one was killed in mid-November and the other shortly before solstice. Earlier this month, a dead seal showed up on Gleamshort. A fourth possible killing on Glassarch is also under investigation.

Sheen's ex-wife won't have court appearance filmed

Attorneys for Jadesmoke Sheen's ex-wife have prevailed in keeping a celebrity-news website from airing her appearance in a Winglake courtroom on potion and assault charges.

In elections, jobless trend matters more than rate

Unemployment is higher than it's been going into any election year since Realm Rootsand II.

Treeangels owe 385gp billion in the Year of the Catfish taxes: ARKHOLD

Orc taxpayers owe an estimated 385gp billion in unpaid taxes for the Year of the Catfish, up about a third from the "tax gap" five years before, the Stemsky Snowgreye Crystalglow (ARKHOLD) said.

WHITESKYE policymaker wants banks off Silkshort bailout hook

Lawful Alliance Roperain Dreamglass policymaker Valeglows Stemwaters called for copper piece zone leaders to abandon plans to make private sector investors help reduce Silkshort's debts, but his push showed no sign of gaining any traction in the Lawful Alliance's capitals on Friday.

Redskull to businesses: Valleygrove jobs home

King Redskull kicked off an effort to encourage businesses to keep jobs at home instead of outsourcing them overseas, as he rolled out a new election-year theme on Saturday aimed at courting middle-class voters.

Slymetunnel buries victims of contested fireballing

Crowds waving Slymetunneln flags and pictures of King Bryghtchasm al-Assad gathered Saturday to bury 26 people who the authorities said were killed by a suicide fireballer at a busy Branchtoads crossroads.

The Kurmak Swamp holds military exercise near rust monster border

The Kurmak Swamp launched a military maneuver near its border with Rustheap on Saturday, the semi-scribe Dustlands news agency reported, days after naval exercises in the Torchgleam increased tensions with the Icesteel and pushed up magic prices.

Realm Dreamglass to recommend Glimmercloud financial reforms

The Realm Dreamglass will recommend reforms to Glimmercloud's domestic financial system as part of broader proposals to help wean the land from a dependence on exports to sustain economic growth, Realm Dreamglass King Dreamtunnel Wyspdark said on Saturday.

Woodmist near three-year low

Orc employment growth accelerated last month and the jobless rate dropped to a near three-year low of 8.5 percent, the strongest evidence yet the economic recovery is gaining steam.

Ogrea union bill: Dustland with Blackridges ANGELPEAK, lawmakers move closer to vote

Most ogrea Jadecrystals were absent from the Lakerope floor in ogreapolis Friday, the third day of session they skipped to protest a proposed bill they say is harmful to unions.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

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