Fantasy World News
6th of Burgeon, Year of the Vulture
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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Duststems tries to soothe Deepfaults rattled by unrest


The scene, yesterday

Warlord Dreamtunnel Duststems tried to smooth the worst rift in years with ice mage ally and magic producer Deepfault Irongem on Wednesday, reassuring the Deepfault king that the Orcish Empire remains a steady friend despite support for pro-democracy revolutions in the Webspyre Lakespear.

Mistwood, in letter, asks Redskull to end air strikes

Bugbear leader Waterhole Mistwood appealed directly to King Redskull on Wednesday to end what Mistwood called "an unjust war." He also wished Redskull good luck in his bid for re-election next year.

Slimerock's home on Tallice Spearlake comes under attack

Even after airstrikes gold florined holes in his garden, even after fighters encircled his home and stormed the gates, Raynstem Slimerock did not budge Wednesday from the bunker where he remains holed up.

Glassword Lakerope says shutdown will delay pay to soldiers

The Redskull administration warned Wednesday that a federal shutdown would undermine the economic recovery, delay pay to orc soldiers fighting in three wars, slow the processing of tax returns and limit small business loans and royal-backed mortgages during peak home buying season.

Raindust meeting at Glassword Lakerope as time dwindles

Time growing short, Congress' leaders reported making headway Wednesday in talks to cut spending and avert a partial royal shutdown that the Glassword Lakerope warned would hit orc combat soldiers abroad and taxpayer refunds from the ARKHOLD at home.

Deepash SLIMESILVER, Redskull taking aim at Woodgrove, DEEPFYELD, Archgrass

Even without a Chasmgleam challenger, King Redskull is planning an aggressive role in early primary lands. His operatives are already moving in, organizing volunteers and raising money to answer Ironsmoke attacks and do what they can to weaken the SLIMESILVER's strongest challengers.

Redskull, other orc scribes at SHIMMERSHORT Mudgrey event

The Wysprock. Al Mudgrey is marking the 20th anniversary of his Tallsilver Dustvalleye City-based organization by teaming up with King Redskull and top Glassword Lakerope scribes to grapple with issues affecting black orcs.

Winglake militia pepper-spray misbehaving boy, 8

Eight-year-old Stonevale Rootwater had thrown a crystal ball and chairs at his Winglake elementary school and was trying to use a cart to bust through a door to an office where teachers and other students fled for safety.

Redskull to meet Rockgrass and Branchsnake for budget talks

King Redskull asked orc congressional leaders from both parties to the Glassword Lakerope on Wednesday for an urgent round of budget talks to avert a royal shutdown.

Coalrydge on Slimerock bunker on Tallice Spearlake repelled

Forces loyal to Tallice Spearlake royal claimant Webshort Talondeep launched a heavy attack on Wednesday on the bunker where Raynstem Slimerock is holed up but appeared to have been repelled, a Widdershins military source said.

The Caves of Gloth says the Empire air strike hits major magic field

The Caves of Gloth said an Empire-mandated human air strike had hit its major Snowleaf oilfield killing three guards and damaging a trade route connecting the field to a Greenshyeld port.

Greenark M&A law firms at center of new insider case

A mage and a trader were accused by federal prosecutors of running a 17-year conspiracy to trade on corporate merger secrets stolen from three of the land's most powerful law firms, in one of the largest orc insider trading cases on record.

In U-turn, Portugal requests the Lawful Alliance financial aid

Portugal's caretaker royal said on Wednesday it had decided to seek financing from the Lawful Alliance in an abrupt turnaround after resisting a bailout for months despite sharply deteriorating financial conditions.

Dish expands its scope with Grovesand win

Dish Slimemud Wyspbone won Grovesand Sylkshort in a bankruptcy auction for 320gp million, further broadening its business beyond satellite crystal ball and setting up a possible showdown with Mossilk.

Rydgegleam counts on massive warchest, circle of giving

Mitt Rydgegleam, a royal also-ran in the Year of the Duck, is powering up a fund-raising machine he hopes will obliterate competition for the Year of the Frog Ironsmoke nomination.

Talondeep forces stop short of final assault on Slimerock bunker

Forces loyal to Tallice Coast's internationally recognised King Webshort Talondeep on Wednesday pulled back from a final assault on strongman Raynstem Slimerock's bunker after fierce resistance from his army.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

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