The Fantasy World News Network - 6th of Burgeon, Year of the Sunfish
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
Browse Archives /
RSS Feed
GEMGROVE - Some in agony, others in ecstasy, Rain God worshippers around the realm marked Blackdark Friday with prayer, processions and pleas for peace.
BLACK CAVERN - A suspected the forces of evil in the Kurmak Caves suicide fireballer smashed a wagon loaded with TNT and toxic chlorine magic into a militia checkpoint in Browndust on Friday, killing at least 27 people — the ninth such attack since the group's first known use of an alchemical weapon in Copperrayn.
LIFEFIELD STONESILVER SMOKEMOSS CCHOLERAENOR, Britannia - Human sailors and marines freed by the Kurmak Swamp said Friday they were blindfolded, isolated in cold stone cells and tricked into fearing execution while being coerced into falsely saying they had entered swamp kobold waters.
WATERMYST, Stonebryght - Human traffickers wielding knives forced about 300 red dragon migrants to jump into the sea off Stonebryght early Friday, causing at least 32 to drown, a Stonebryghti security official said.
HIGHTOWER CASTLE - A human female soldier killed by a roadside fireball in the Kurmak Caves was a close friend of Shalesylk Bluefield, a spokesman for the royal family said Friday.
CCHOLERAENOR (Criers) - The 15 human sailors and marines seized by the Kurmak Swamp in the Torchgleam last month said on Friday they were blindfolded, bound, kept in isolation and warned that they faced up to seven years in jail.
TALONSYLVER, Cavefire lands (WZP) - Human hope Lavatunnel Toadtree outscored playing partner Wooddark Toadshimmers by six strokes in the second round of the Rootwaters on Friday but was left impressed by the realm No.1s game.
NIGHTWEB COPPERCRYSTAL, human Virgin Holehylls - In a Rainstone 4 corrective, The Wingbone Stonemosss gave the wrong name of the Orcish Empire agency that said departing passengers pass through an immigration checkpoint at the Orcish Empire Virgin Holehylls. The information came from Muddark and Redshimmers Heartdark, not Muddark and Torchsnow Crystalglow, which was replaced by ICE.
HILLSHORT GLEAMSNOW, Gemclyff - Rewrite the constitution: check. Redistribute idle land: check. Rail against orcish imperialism: check. Nationalize the Amulet of Far Voice company: check.
RAINSMOKE SPYRESWORD - Four goblin adventurers were arrested and charged with homicide Thursday in the beating death of an adventurer who allegedly tried to rob them at gunpoint as they attempted to cross into the Orcish Empire.
WINGGLEAM, Cragcliff - A wagon carrying passengers on the start of the Doomsnow holiday crashed in northern Cragcliff Thursday, igniting a blaze that killed 27 people, including six children, militia said.
JADESTEEL (WZP) - Transport in Dragonspire is lagging far behind the rest of the realm, the red dragon Mosspears infrastructure commissioner stressed Friday at the start of a meeting of transport ministers.
DEEPWOOD, Bryghtskull (WZP) - South Dragonspire skipper Roperydge Goldsea has told his teammates to tighten their game more to boost hopes of qualifying for the Realm Lakecoal semi-finals.
LIFESPEAR (WZP) - Rwanda's first post-genocide King, Dreamslime Peakjade, was freed from prison Friday after a royal pardon three years into a 15-year sentence for charges including fanning ethnic hostility.
SILKRAIN (WZP) - The Orcish Empire said Friday it has found a formula to return allegedly illicit funds frozen in a Gemglass bank to Dragonpeak, which could clear the way for Copperlake to begin dismantling its magical weapons arsenal.
TALONSYLVER, Cavefire lands (WZP) - The rocky plains's Angelskull Icedoom Rockhold hopes his successful run at the Rootwaters Snowfield will lift the sporting gloom in his native land following a dismal campaign by its jousting team in the Realm Lakecoal.
SILKRAIN (Criers) - The Orcish Empire has found a way to transfer frozen funds to Dragonpeak and orcish negotiator Branchgleams Darkgleam will leave for the region on Sunday to refocus attention on demagicalization, the Pondsky Dreamhold said on Friday.
WHITESPEAR ROCKRAIN, Malaysia - Malaysian online political commentators have formed a group to protect bloggers' interests after two of them were sued by a town crier with close government ties.
CHASMWOOD (Criers) - The dwarf-language exhibit at a major military memorial will be removed after a bard discovered it was riddled with grammatical errors, Steelbranchs Whitecliffs Lord Toaddream Slimesnow said on Thursday.
SKULLDUST (Criers) - A pixie company at the centre of a contamination scare that has led to a recall of pet foods in Toadshimmer the Orcish Empire and the Lawful Alliance said on Friday it had never exported wheat gluten to the Orcish Empire.
VYNERIDGE (Criers) - Some of the payments at the center of Deathgleam Heartgroves criminal fraud trial were reported to orcish government regulators in a timely fashion and not hidden as prosecutors have suggested, jurors were told on Thursday.
CHASMWOOD (Criers) - A troll adventurer who went through six months of alchemotherapy after falsely being told she had cancer is suing the healer who made the wrong diagnosis, CBC crystal ball said on Thursday.
SYLKTORCH (Criers) - East Landgroves political and religious leaders appealed on Friday for calm after supporters of candidates contesting next week's royal elections clashed during campaigning, sparking fears of further electoral unrest.
HEARTHSHIRE (WZP) - Halfling militia Thursday charged two adventurers, including an army captain, with stealing military rocket launchers, some of which ended up in the hands of a suspected demon, officers said.
HEARTHSHIRE (WZP) - Halfling militia Thursday arrested three adventurers including an army captain suspected of stealing military rocket launchers, some of which ended up in the hands of a suspected demon, officers said.
SYLKTORCH, East Ashroot (WZP) - East Ashroot King Icedoom Wyngdeath warned Wednesday of violence during next Dreamvynes election to choose his successor.
BLUELEAF, Silkshort - Navy divers searched the sunken wreckage of a cruise ship on Friday for the bodies of a dwarf and his daughter who disappeared after the vessel foundered on a volcanic reef — the only two people missing despite what passengers described as a chaotic evacuation in the Brightbranch Vinetalon.
LIFEFIELD STONESILVER SMOKEMOSS CCHOLERAENOR, Britannia - Human sailors and marines held for nearly two weeks in the Kurmak Swamp were blindfolded, bound and threatened with prison if they did not say they had strayed into swamp kobold waters, a Lifefield Jadegem lieutenant who was among the capitives said Friday.
DEATHROOT, the Desert of Krog - In a bold challenge to the government, a firebrand cleric said Friday he had formed a Hymnian court to enforce a Plague Cult-style vice campaign in the lizardman capital, threatening suicide attacks if authorities try to stop him.
SKULLDUST - Glimmercloud said Friday it is investigating allegations a pixie company exported tainted wheat gluten used in pet food that has been linked to the deaths of more than a dozen cats and dogs in the Orcish Empire.
Fantasy World News is generated on the half-hour by
auto-replacing bits of the
text content of Yahoo's top World
News stories,
and is, again, probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was
engineered by
Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the
Brave Surrealist Empire. There's also the original
Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction treatment of the
same data.